CONFESSIONAL! What stupid things have you done drunk?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Ontario
Posts: 66
I hate thinking about stuff I did when I was drinking. I was always blacked out and took the motto of "if I don't remember it, it didn't happen."
Fortunately (but also unfortunately) I don't really have any funny stories to look back on. All of them involve me being in extremely dangerous and bad places, and bad things occurring.
Actually one time at a bar with my friends, one of my friends was too drunk and ended up puking in the bathroom of the bar. The bouncers didn't notice and she wasn't kicked out. But this gave me the great idea of "if I make myself puke, I'll be able to drink more!!" I went ahead and did that, of course was caught by the bouncers, and kicked out for MAKING MYSELF PUKE. Definitely embarrassing.
At least it acts as a big fat sign telling me not to drink again.
Fortunately (but also unfortunately) I don't really have any funny stories to look back on. All of them involve me being in extremely dangerous and bad places, and bad things occurring.
Actually one time at a bar with my friends, one of my friends was too drunk and ended up puking in the bathroom of the bar. The bouncers didn't notice and she wasn't kicked out. But this gave me the great idea of "if I make myself puke, I'll be able to drink more!!" I went ahead and did that, of course was caught by the bouncers, and kicked out for MAKING MYSELF PUKE. Definitely embarrassing.
At least it acts as a big fat sign telling me not to drink again.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: State of Acceptance
Posts: 756
Originally Posted by Melina 
I woke up the next day and read texts where I told him we should go on a date, that I liked him and I needed to rehydrate my ovaries. It wasn't an autocorrect fail. I had gone on at length to equate my singleness with dry ovaries. In my drunkenness, it was some kind of metaphor that proved I didn't casually sleep around.
Wtf, REHYDRATE MY OVARIES? I even creeped myself out when I read that.
Never heard from him again, obviously.
Wtf, REHYDRATE MY OVARIES? I even creeped myself out when I read that.
Never heard from him again, obviously.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 20
Oh, let's see - Fortunately or unfortunately for me, 99% of the time I was drunk at home (or riding my bike to the package store after my wife took my keys). I've had many, but some "funny" (don't really mean that) - I decided to chug about 20 ounces of vodka while in the middle of mowing my lawn. Couldn't stop thinking about getting my drink on and couldn't wait until I finished mowing my acre of grass. Went into the garage and chugged. About 45 minutes later, the lawn mower stopped working. I tried to restart it and it wouldn't work. Pissed off that it was a relatively new machine, I picked up the push mower over my head and threw it onto the grass as hard as I could, for I'm sure all the neighbors to see. And I'm far from a violent person. Boy did I solve that problem.
Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,887
I used to do what my husband referred to as "Drunk Yoga". I'd polish off a few bottles of wine and decide that that would be an ideal time to stretch and bend and do sh*t out of shape 40 year olds have no business doing sober much less way-sted.
Well one night I slipped in the middle of downward drunk dog and my leg made a snapping/pinging noise that scared even my drunk azz. Being drunk, it didn't hurt too bad until the morning.
Long story longer, I couldn't physically get out of bed because I had dislocated my knee. It was flopping around in there like a fish outta water. So 911 I call and 4 of the hottest firemen in the Midwest show up to put me in some sort of a stair/chair contraption to get me to the ER.
I don't do that anymore.
Well one night I slipped in the middle of downward drunk dog and my leg made a snapping/pinging noise that scared even my drunk azz. Being drunk, it didn't hurt too bad until the morning.
Long story longer, I couldn't physically get out of bed because I had dislocated my knee. It was flopping around in there like a fish outta water. So 911 I call and 4 of the hottest firemen in the Midwest show up to put me in some sort of a stair/chair contraption to get me to the ER.
I don't do that anymore.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,129
Thanks, MidnightBlue!
I could have EASILY posted one of the thousands of horrific and dangerous things I've done. I'm not trying to make light of our alcoholism by being irreverent. But I thought we could all use a laugh.
I bet we've all done it all while drunk, from the mildly humorous to the irrevocable consequences of getting behind the wheel, etc.
Just wanted to say I know it goes way deeper and way more negative than just drunk texting. Not to prove my bottom was lower than anyone's but to just laugh at the dumb stuff.
xoxo
I could have EASILY posted one of the thousands of horrific and dangerous things I've done. I'm not trying to make light of our alcoholism by being irreverent. But I thought we could all use a laugh.
I bet we've all done it all while drunk, from the mildly humorous to the irrevocable consequences of getting behind the wheel, etc.
Just wanted to say I know it goes way deeper and way more negative than just drunk texting. Not to prove my bottom was lower than anyone's but to just laugh at the dumb stuff.
xoxo
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 11,351
Oh Melina and AlphaO that's just the " tonic" we need , I swear i laughed so hard out loud Melina...... REHYDRATE MY OVARIES hahahaha !!!! Micmac ...lol the neighbours dog ....Bahaha ;-)
Thank you sooooo much for that :-))))) so good we can laugh at ourselves...
Before mobile phones i can remember after a big night .....waking up and seeing the phone book on the table ( shock horror ) lol and wondering who and how many i had called .
Thank you sooooo much for that :-))))) so good we can laugh at ourselves...
Before mobile phones i can remember after a big night .....waking up and seeing the phone book on the table ( shock horror ) lol and wondering who and how many i had called .
International Man of Mystery
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Richmond VA
Posts: 213
One of many...
I had bought tickets three months in advance to see my favorite band. I didn't drive so I drank in the car on the way there (though I probably would have drank even if I was driving). Before the show we went to a bar for $1 rum and cokes and I don't even remember how many I had. By the time we enter I show my ID but they 'X' my hands anyways because I'm too drunk. I go inside the venue and wash them off in the bathroom and ask my friend to get me a beer. Halfway through it someone smacks it out of my hands and picks me up by the neck. Wouldn't you know security see's me drinking without a wristband.
I get thrown out (before the opening band no less), and now I'm sitting out side arguing with three security people. In a drunken rage I push one guy over and rush the door but get tackled. Now the police come and he tells me that if I take one step at him I'm going to jail. Being the drunken jackass that I am I take two steps forward (I think I said "you didn't say two"), and well, I spent the night in a drunk tank while my friends are watching the show I wanted to see for months. I remember feeling really stupid at work the next day when people asked me how the show was and I told them I didn't see if because I was arrested for disorderly conduct.
I had bought tickets three months in advance to see my favorite band. I didn't drive so I drank in the car on the way there (though I probably would have drank even if I was driving). Before the show we went to a bar for $1 rum and cokes and I don't even remember how many I had. By the time we enter I show my ID but they 'X' my hands anyways because I'm too drunk. I go inside the venue and wash them off in the bathroom and ask my friend to get me a beer. Halfway through it someone smacks it out of my hands and picks me up by the neck. Wouldn't you know security see's me drinking without a wristband.
I get thrown out (before the opening band no less), and now I'm sitting out side arguing with three security people. In a drunken rage I push one guy over and rush the door but get tackled. Now the police come and he tells me that if I take one step at him I'm going to jail. Being the drunken jackass that I am I take two steps forward (I think I said "you didn't say two"), and well, I spent the night in a drunk tank while my friends are watching the show I wanted to see for months. I remember feeling really stupid at work the next day when people asked me how the show was and I told them I didn't see if because I was arrested for disorderly conduct.
AlmA
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Marbella Spain
Posts: 714
UUUGGGGG
I CAN NOT REMEMBER MUCHHHHHH I lived in another dimension...
BUT THE ONES I do remember,...
One of the worst onesssss god someone ensure I was fully drunk and stoned...
And a F------ B------- he knew it.
I can not write them down... God!!!!!
It would never had happened if I was fully awake...
Biggest mistake... MISTAKE in Block Capitals....
And am so lucky they never caught me driving and never had a car accident....
and still have not learnt my lesson!!!
I can not look back...
I rather make sure it does not happen again at present...
Uffff
I CAN NOT REMEMBER MUCHHHHHH I lived in another dimension...
BUT THE ONES I do remember,...
One of the worst onesssss god someone ensure I was fully drunk and stoned...
And a F------ B------- he knew it.
I can not write them down... God!!!!!
It would never had happened if I was fully awake...
Biggest mistake... MISTAKE in Block Capitals....
And am so lucky they never caught me driving and never had a car accident....
and still have not learnt my lesson!!!
I can not look back...
I rather make sure it does not happen again at present...
Uffff
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Dudley,Uk
Posts: 1,704
Crashed my car and wrote it off after 15 pints of stella...
Sh1t myself...
P1ssed myself...
Damaged my back big time after trying to hurdle a fence when I was drunk...
Set fire to my trousers...
Cut myself by accident but it was real deep...
Electrocuted myself....
Crazy when you think about it.....
Sh1t myself...
P1ssed myself...
Damaged my back big time after trying to hurdle a fence when I was drunk...
Set fire to my trousers...
Cut myself by accident but it was real deep...
Electrocuted myself....
Crazy when you think about it.....
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 289
The most stupid things I've done when I was drinking was fight with my husband. I mean, really, really bad fights.
It would start with me misconstruing something he said, and I would go completely mental. I spent the night in jail one night because it got so bad. I was such an irrational drunk. Good grief, I don't miss those days even a little bit.
It would start with me misconstruing something he said, and I would go completely mental. I spent the night in jail one night because it got so bad. I was such an irrational drunk. Good grief, I don't miss those days even a little bit.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 289
Originally Posted by micmac
I woke up with the neighbor's dog in my bed. Not the neighbor, just his dog. 
I did wake up one time with my downstairs neighbors cat in my bed...but I did eventually remember letting him into my house.
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