b086

I got sober through AA a little over eighteen months ago in the United States. I got a sponsor, worked the steps, and obtained a little relief. I've never, however, had a sponsee. I have been unwilling to reach out to newcomers, usually because I think their situations are too different from mine, or because I do not believe that I have anything of value to offer them.

Two months ago I moved overseas for work, with my wife. We are living in a rural area; the nearest AA loner (let alone English-language meeting) is about two hours away. I've been in touch with my sponsor, and recently started working the steps again.

This was a rough weekend. The desire to drink was quite strong. I rode it out, isolating and moody. When the wave finally started to break, it hit me that this pattern has been happening more and more frequently in recent months. I have been denying the extent to which I am fighting the desire to drink. It is clear that I am not working a very good program. I'm trying to stay sober on my own willpower (actually, it's more like pride). I can't count on that.

I'm currently working the third step....by working the third step I mean ignoring the third step. Last time around, I blew through it so I could get working on the inventory process. This time, it's just as hard.

I'd appreciate any insight into the third-step, or "turning it over," or your relationship to your thoughts and desires. I also just want to say hi; this is my first post on this site.

IOAA2

Hi. I've heard many times that if a particular step is being difficult try doing the previous one again. I've seen it work. I can't help you regarding flesh meetings however there is good help here on this site. I found it very informative to download conference speakers from "XA Speakers" and listen to them on my pod or Phone. Hundreds there. FREE or make a donation. Well worth it. BE WELL

soberhawk

Welcome to SR.

wakko

I had to ask myself what do I have control over. The answer I came up with was basically nothing other than myself. I had to come to terms with either there is or is not a higher power. There is no in between. I came to believe that there is a higher power and it has a master game plan. I read the chapter to the agnostic and it helped me get my arms around step 3

The question I had to answer is if I do not have control what does? if it is my higherpower driving the bus and I better turn my will and my life over to it.

One thing that helped me immensely is getting down on my knees every morning and honestly asking for a day of sobriety. This has worked for over a 1000 days

Mountainmanbob

let's not forget that ones got sober before AA - 1935

many have gotten sober in the Church

if you are a believer there is probably a Church nearby

Mountainman

ExWinoMom

Hey welcome.
This site is fantastic for around the clock recovery discussion from all around the world.
Keep coming back
EWM

ExWinoMom

Another thing- why don't you start a meeting? There must be alcoholics around? Especially in the country yeah?