Picking an AA meeting
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,472
Picking an AA meeting
I have decided I'm going to try out an AA meeting and I did a search for ones near me. I had no idea there were so many variations out there! I don't know where to begin in picking one. Some are open, some closed and they each have a different name. Any advice for someone new in recovery picking a first meeting? I'm guessing I should just try various ones around me and find one that fits me best?
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
If you have more questions about specific meetings call your local AA office and ask questions about the meetings. Here is a link. Alcoholics Anonymous : Local Resources that provide A.A. Meeting Information (U.S./Canada)
Let us know how it goes!
Let us know how it goes!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: South Bay, So Cal
Posts: 6,123
When I was brand new I thought I couldn't go to a "closed" meeting. Turns out as long as you have the desire to quit drinking you can go. "Open" meetings are open to all, say you have a family member who just wants to check out where you're going, these are meetings he could go with YOU to! I believe my day to day meetings in the week are all Participation meetings. Good for you, keep coming back. 
Bobbi
Bobbi
Perpetual Optimist
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: LA
Posts: 1,371
Good ones are beginners meetings and living sober meetings. Avoid traditions and step meetings until you get your feet wet.
Another piece of advice, there might be different types of people than you. If so, try and look at the similarities between you and the other attendees, rather than the differences.
good luck!
Another piece of advice, there might be different types of people than you. If so, try and look at the similarities between you and the other attendees, rather than the differences.
good luck!
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Ok,
When I went to find a few meetings to try it was totally confusing to me too. Closed just means us alcoholics only. No journalists or students looking to learn about AA and its recovery program. Open meetings mean us and the public. BB meetings means rather than attendees talking and others listening, they are reading from the Big Book and discussing that section only. Think of it as a study group. Then they have women only, men only, and I have heard of secular with no prayer other than silent, but not here in my Southern area.
You will want to go to at least three or four different meetings to find one you feel most at home with. The first one I went to was biker types and mixed with narcotics addicts. Scared me completely away for a few weeks until I came here and some of the folks suggested that I keep looking for groups I would be comfortable with. I am a middle income at the time 58 year old preppy type. I found a home group with a bunch of very much like me folks. Now three years later I could go to that meeting that scared me and get something out of it, but I am not comfortable in that part of town. Once your new wears off, you stop judging and start seeing that the folks there sure don't want to hurt you. They ARE you! So look for ones in a neighborhood like yours.
Then remember you don't need to speak unless you choose to. Do let them know you are there for the first time, and do accept a 24 hour chip, which is a pledge to not drink for the next 24 hours. The folks at my home group met twice a week. That worked for me. But the others said I should go to 90 meetings in 90 days. Some of my friends did some did not. Some folks do need meetings every night to have a safe sober place to go instead of drinking and I am all for that. If I had trouble staying sober with two meetings I would have gone morning noon and night every day if that is what I needed. In the meeting there will be a volunteer acting as leader and several members to read the different things. The only thing you might want to do is bring a couple of one dollar bills to drop in the basket that pays for the coffee etc.
Then relax. You are among people who are non-judgmental, and will try to be there for you.
Hope that clears up some of the things that confused me at first.
When I went to find a few meetings to try it was totally confusing to me too. Closed just means us alcoholics only. No journalists or students looking to learn about AA and its recovery program. Open meetings mean us and the public. BB meetings means rather than attendees talking and others listening, they are reading from the Big Book and discussing that section only. Think of it as a study group. Then they have women only, men only, and I have heard of secular with no prayer other than silent, but not here in my Southern area.
You will want to go to at least three or four different meetings to find one you feel most at home with. The first one I went to was biker types and mixed with narcotics addicts. Scared me completely away for a few weeks until I came here and some of the folks suggested that I keep looking for groups I would be comfortable with. I am a middle income at the time 58 year old preppy type. I found a home group with a bunch of very much like me folks. Now three years later I could go to that meeting that scared me and get something out of it, but I am not comfortable in that part of town. Once your new wears off, you stop judging and start seeing that the folks there sure don't want to hurt you. They ARE you! So look for ones in a neighborhood like yours.
Then remember you don't need to speak unless you choose to. Do let them know you are there for the first time, and do accept a 24 hour chip, which is a pledge to not drink for the next 24 hours. The folks at my home group met twice a week. That worked for me. But the others said I should go to 90 meetings in 90 days. Some of my friends did some did not. Some folks do need meetings every night to have a safe sober place to go instead of drinking and I am all for that. If I had trouble staying sober with two meetings I would have gone morning noon and night every day if that is what I needed. In the meeting there will be a volunteer acting as leader and several members to read the different things. The only thing you might want to do is bring a couple of one dollar bills to drop in the basket that pays for the coffee etc.
Then relax. You are among people who are non-judgmental, and will try to be there for you.
Hope that clears up some of the things that confused me at first.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,472
Thanks everyone! This is incredibly helpful and I feel more at ease about this already.
Itchy, thank you so much for the long and detailed reply. I looked up meetings near my home and there are two that seem like good ones to check out. SR is amazingly helpful but I'm also looking for some in-person support as well to keep me strong. I would love to find a group where I click and feel at ease.
Itchy, thank you so much for the long and detailed reply. I looked up meetings near my home and there are two that seem like good ones to check out. SR is amazingly helpful but I'm also looking for some in-person support as well to keep me strong. I would love to find a group where I click and feel at ease.
No half measures
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: State of Confusion
Posts: 424
Each meeting has its own personality.Even the same meeting can be different based on the people that are attending. I gravitate towards meetings that have a lot of long-term sobriety. I look for people that are happy with their lives and are sober.
Listen to what the winners do and then duplicate their behavior.
AA save my life and it's a gift that I do not even have words for
Listen to what the winners do and then duplicate their behavior.
AA save my life and it's a gift that I do not even have words for
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