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Old 10-14-2013, 06:19 PM   #1 (permalink)

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Emotional Triggers

I've been having a rough few days with everything kind of coming to a head during my transition to a totally new life. Today was definitely a trigger though. I'm a teacher and I had a bad interaction with a parent. It's amazing how quickly those can turn ugly and personal. The parent is pretty ignorant of education, which is fine, but when he realized his complaint was unfounded the personal attack began. It wasn't private either.

I know I'm a good teacher but it really shakes me up inside when people discount me for invalid reasons. It eats me up inside. Tonight I tried to forget about it as I cleaned the kitchen and watched tv with my cup of tea but all I want is my friend wine who never discounts me or bully's me, or makes me feel like I'm less than anyone else and who lets me sleep without the anxiety that keeps my teeth clenched all night and my mind racing about how I can fix this persons perception of me...

I know I can't and shouldn't try to change what others think of me but my identity rests so much upon what others think about me and in an instant I can place all my self worth and my sobriety in the hands of a stranger who is mad at me for no reason.

It's just a huge trigger for me to feel so insecure right now. I didn't realize this was even a thing for me until tonight. I hate feeling so out of control.

I'm not going to drink, but I want to.
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Old 10-14-2013, 06:25 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Location: Boston
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I understand this, and what others think of me has been a major source of anxiety my whole life. It wasn't until I got some real distance from the drinking that I felt I had some distance from other people's judgment, too. The booze made my skin crawl with anxiety and insecurity, so while you think it's delivering you away from those things, it's doing the opposite.

Just don't drink tonight. Every day you get further away from it, the better you'll be able to handle these things clearly. I don't know if you're into AA but a lot of the messages deal directly with this. A thin skin and resentment are common themes among addicts. It's INCREDIBLY helpful to hear this in the meetings and to talk to someone about it. That's my experience.
One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice-- Mary Oliver
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Old 10-14-2013, 07:03 PM   #3 (permalink)
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It amazing how fast we can revert to old behaviors. I had an insecurity meltdown a month ago and I've been sober for over 3 years.

What saved me was talking to other alcoholics both on a Sr and in person. I had to remind myself that my insecurities wouldn't kill me but that alcohol would.

I was reminded that the situation was temporary and would pass. I was also told what other people think of me is none of my business. All of this is easier said than done I know. The thing that helped me the most was to take the day at a time and not drink.

We have to learn how to live life on life's terms n roll with the punches
We will stay the same if we do not change
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Old 10-14-2013, 08:02 PM   #4 (permalink)

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So sorry you had a bad day. I hate it when people humiliate me. Drinking only makes it worse. You probably know that.
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anxiety , insecurity , stress , trigger , work

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