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Admitting to People You're an Alcoholic

Old 10-15-2013, 06:44 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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I find it's the people with drinking problems themselves who push it after you say you're not drinking. No judgements, I'm an alcoholic myself, so I understand. But darn, it can be irritating when someone keeps asking "why" you aren't drinking. I just say, alcohol isn't my thing, which is pretty lame, but whatever, that's where I'm at right now.

As for telling people I'm an alcoholic, I usually keep that information pretty close to the chest. There's my wife and a few ex-drinking buddies who live overseas, but that's about it. I try to visualize a time in the future when I'm ready to be more open about it, 3 years seems appropriate for some reason, but who knows? I'm usually pretty dim about keeping secrets, even my own.
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Old 10-15-2013, 07:20 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Personally,and this is just me,but,I could care less what people think.
I didn't care what they thought when I was drinking. And sure as hell don't care what they think,now that I'm sober.

And anybody that keeps bugging you about not drinking needs to be told they are skating on thin ice. Most of the people I know would rather have me not drinking,no questions asked.
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Old 10-15-2013, 07:24 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Another member of the Sept.2013 class had this response: "no thanks, I'm allergic to alcohol." When they ask what happens if you drink..."I breakout in handcuffs."
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Old 10-15-2013, 10:47 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Blue,

As someone that only has 7 days of sobriety and a life long of drinking, this one is easy for me.

Trust me when I tell you, it's the people who are drinking at social events that should be thinking and concerned with if they should have another. You're simple response should be "no thanks I'm good". Your perception might be that everyone drinks at these events, while the reality is that you're making the good choice. It's the people that are grabbing or saying yes to the 5th or 15th drink that should be worried about what people think,
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Old 10-15-2013, 10:51 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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Hi Bluemax, great job on quitting. You don't have to tell anyone if you don't want to. Usually I just say "I'd like a coca-cola". If it's someone who is in your life alot, why not just say "I don't like to drink anymore". Grouphug to you.
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Old 10-15-2013, 03:48 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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I say that I don't drink anymore because it makes me sick
I have had one person question me at length about it but I didn't give away that I am an alcoholic. This person drinks heavily and i think the fact i wasn't drinking challenged her somewhat. Personally I would avoid bars for a while until you feel stronger in your sobriety. I have lovely friends who all drink and lately I have told them I have to work late or do an extra shift to avoid situations that would tempt me to drink.
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Old 10-17-2013, 04:02 AM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Bluemax65 View Post
Does there ever come a time when this is important? I'm going to guess the reason is only if it's comfortable for you, and your friends accept it without questions. I've not been to a bar in many months, but if some one asks "you don't want a beer or anything?" what is a good reply? Thanks but I'm cutting back, or I'm just not drinking right now, or That's ok, you guys go ahead. There's a group of guys I know who, when they get together, go to the same bar and get very buzzed. I like them a lot, but I've been afraid to join them. Any advice? Thanks

My advice would be to concentrate on YOU, your the one who has been through hell and your the one that you need to focus on. Being an alcoholic isn't contagious or a badge of honour or a mark of shame, it is simply a person, who has an adverse reaction to alcohol.

In many of our cases, its not that we cant drink alcohol, its the fact that we want more and more and are unable to stop.

My relapse, was in the past month when a friend of mine, came from the Isle of Wight and I said I wasn't drinking. He had two cans and didn't ask, just offered me one. As I reached out and took it, there wasn't a person on Earth who could of talked sense to me. As I drank it, my self disappointment fuelled the act of drinking more. Very very dangerous combination.

It is best avoid all contact, where you have to make a choice or decision, that way you can recover.
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Old 10-17-2013, 04:50 AM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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I had to change friends, they all drank like I did. One of my old friends knows that I am in recovery but she moved a few states away and is still drinking like we used to. Otherwise there is really no need to tell anyone. Even work people who knew I was a heavy drinker, I just say now that I can't drink because of my health and they say, "oh, that kinda sucks because this sangria or wine of beer or whatever is so good! I'll have one for you!" And we leave it at that.
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Old 10-17-2013, 05:48 AM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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I'm just telling everyone I'm on a diet. That alcohol makes me feel sluggish when I run and I'm cuting it out for awhile. After enough time has passed I will probably just say I don't miss it. The only people that have given me a hard time are the ones that have problems with drinking too much also. My determination has made them feel weak.
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Old 10-17-2013, 07:18 AM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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I don't know about you, but I don't like watching people getting drunk. I get jealous. Not that I want to drink, its the last thing I want to do but its too much for me to deal with. But at the moment I'm just saying I can't drink due to medication.

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Old 10-17-2013, 07:23 AM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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Also, You don't need to tell anyone you're an alcoholic, just say you don't drink? That's what I'll probably try and say anyway. I've met people before that aren't alcoholics and they just say 'I don't drink'. It's only really an issue I think for people with a drinking problem themselves. I was always fascinated when people said they didn't drink. "like, seriously, you never drink? really? how do you do that?! that's amazing!" haha
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Old 10-22-2013, 08:06 AM
  # 32 (permalink)  
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I am 3 days away from 1 year of sobriety. I am an elected official whom , by the grace of God, kept my arrest under the radar. I had a heck of a time making up excuses of why I am not drinking. People know me as a drinker, my friends, I could not tell them for fear of hurting myself and others politically. In January I decided I would start focusing on something else, running.

My wife came up with that I am not drinking because I am training for a half marathon. Well that race came and went and had to come up with a new one. Now I do not drink because I am training for a marathon. That race is November 17.

Everyone now knows I do not drink, the pestering from your alcoholic friends stops eventually, although I still get when do I get my drinking buddy back. I also get that this has turned in to your lifestyle now hasn't it, and I reply yes, I like it , it is better for me and my family.

Now I just do not care. I also realized early on that most people do not care, and there are many non drinkers, just did not realize that before. I now have more fun at party's and I am not going to kill anyone or go to jail again going home. One more benefit is that I lost 30 pounds, Doctor says I am a model patient, he wishes everyone would do what I did, it would save lives, not just my own.
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Old 10-22-2013, 08:33 AM
  # 33 (permalink)  
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At first I didn't tell many people and got hurt when my ex starting blurting it out. But now I find that if I tell people, it will help keep me sober because I don't want to mess up and let others down. I am a people pleaser and do better if I am held accountable. It's like telling people you are on a diet... You can't be on a diet if you eat a ton of desserts; I can't be in recovery if I am drinking. It just works for me. And I have to say that everyone is proud of this decision, no negative remarks whatsoever.
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Old 10-22-2013, 09:25 AM
  # 34 (permalink)  
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blue,

Unless you're close enough to one (and feel like sharing your situation), you don't owe any explanations.

As many others here have said - just say "no thanks, I'm good". If they press you, just say "I've decided that I'm no longer going to drink". If pressed more it's "well at one point I liked how it made me feel, but not anymore and I've found that I enjoy myself much more without it".
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Old 10-22-2013, 12:11 PM
  # 35 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Jackie38 View Post
I'm just telling everyone I'm on a diet. That alcohol makes me feel sluggish when I run and I'm cuting it out for awhile. After enough time has passed I will probably just say I don't miss it. The only people that have given me a hard time are the ones that have problems with drinking too much also. My determination has made them feel weak.
I love this idea!!
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Old 10-22-2013, 12:49 PM
  # 36 (permalink)  
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Once I quit and knew I wasn't going to pick up again, it became much easier for me to turn the whole subject into a non-issue. I simply wasn't a drinker of alcohol anymore. Before that, it plagued me as to how I could ever tell people I wasn't drinking. Funny how that works.
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Old 10-22-2013, 12:57 PM
  # 37 (permalink)  
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I hung out with an old buddy of mine on Sunday to watch football. Sure enough he hands me a beer and I gave it back to him and all I had to say was "I'm taking a break from drinking for a while". He wasn't put off by it and I didn't make him feel bad for having a drink around me.

Here's the thing, while I didn't want to tell people that I'm trying to stop drinking because I have a problem, anyone who knew me for more than a few months KNOWS I have a drinking problem. Most people seem supportive of me. They're probably tired of me blacking out, making an ass of myself, getting arrested, being hungover, etc..
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Old 12-28-2013, 12:27 PM
  # 38 (permalink)  
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I tell people..I also have been told a nice line.."if you keep going to the barbers,eventually you are going to have a hair cut"

When people push beer on me,knowing I no longer drink. I ask..."if I was a heroin addict, would you give me a bag of heroin in recovery?"
They soon stop asking...
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Old 12-28-2013, 01:15 PM
  # 39 (permalink)  
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I never label myself. Sometimes I make an excuse if someone (usually drunk) is pushing it and sometimes just say. 'I don't drink.' Besides I'm usually driving. It's my business anyway and I'm sure no one's really that bothered about it. x
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Old 12-28-2013, 09:33 PM
  # 40 (permalink)  
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Honestly, this scared me for a long time. I thought about it a lot. A lot. Looking back, it seems completely ridiculous. Everyone around me drunk like I did, or so I thought. The reality is that it is a great big sober world out there. It literally shocked me. It still does.

And here's the other thing. No one really cares if you drink or not. You may get some grief from people who drink as much as I used to but after they get their first they just care about their next drink.

So, don't worry. Have an excuse lined up in case someone pushes. Or don't. Just say you don't drink with confidence. Confidence is cool.
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