I dont want to leave him but how can I help
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: nassau
Posts: 1
I dont want to leave him but how can I help
I met the most wonderful man of my dreams he told me he had a drinking problem a year ago.He lives in fla I live in the bahamas I have to come and go situation everything was going fine he was living in a half way house he got an apartment I spent a lot of time there but I woul leave and go back home for two weeks at a time we talk every day three times a day.
I notice sometime he would go a whole day and dont call he finally told me he got drunk I was mad he said sorry it wont happen again the next week same thing and it always happen on friday when he gets paid and dont go to work so he lost his job. He has no mother, father, brother, sister, I dont know what to do. I love this man he needs to go back to rehab I dont know what expect he wont call he is in the apt just drinking I never knew people mess up when things good I am trying to understand I feel like this is my fault.
I notice sometime he would go a whole day and dont call he finally told me he got drunk I was mad he said sorry it wont happen again the next week same thing and it always happen on friday when he gets paid and dont go to work so he lost his job. He has no mother, father, brother, sister, I dont know what to do. I love this man he needs to go back to rehab I dont know what expect he wont call he is in the apt just drinking I never knew people mess up when things good I am trying to understand I feel like this is my fault.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,423
You can't help him. I suggest you step away from the situation, either permanently or at least until he takes a number of steps to really help himself, such as going back into rehab. You are just setting yourself up for heartbreak otherwise. Good luck.
No half measures
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: State of Confusion
Posts: 424
I am sorry for your situation but unfortuately there is almost nothing you can do to help him. He has to fix himself. AA worked for me and many others. You can check out ALANON and the friends and family section of SR.
There is a lot of help available to you just reach out and you will find some great support
There is a lot of help available to you just reach out and you will find some great support
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
Welcome to SR.
I would strongly suggest that you read the friends and family forum Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
for the vast majority of spouses and partners, it started like you when we met the most wonderful person in the world who just had a problem and that we wanted to help/fix/change.
When you read people's stories, do not think for one minute that you and your BF are different, we all thought our relationship/love/situation was unique.
There is nothing you can do over someone else s alcoholism, do yourself a favor and avoid years of misery. There are plenty of nice men out there who do not have that kind of baggage.
I would strongly suggest that you read the friends and family forum Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
for the vast majority of spouses and partners, it started like you when we met the most wonderful person in the world who just had a problem and that we wanted to help/fix/change.
When you read people's stories, do not think for one minute that you and your BF are different, we all thought our relationship/love/situation was unique.
There is nothing you can do over someone else s alcoholism, do yourself a favor and avoid years of misery. There are plenty of nice men out there who do not have that kind of baggage.
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