Smashed
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 8
Smashed
Hi everybody,
I'm slightly new to this forum. After getting into LOTS of trouble in my family, in my relationship, and with the law even, I've maintained sobriety for about 4 months now.
I feel like I'm on the right track but I've really had to cut connections with most of my old friends. I tried to maintain sobriety around these people but it just doesn't feel right, and I don't think they really understand where I'm at in life right now.
Luckily, I have a supportive boyfriend. But I pretty much gave up on all my old friends because the only time we even connected was to get high or drunk and party.
Anyway, I try not to let it get me down. I have a good job. I'm getting more involved in my church. I have an awesome dog. haha. But it's almost like I've forgotten how to make friends now that I'm sober. I've become really shy. Anyone else ever feel like that? Advice would be great...
I read a lot more now. And I write.
Last night I watched "smashed" with Aaron Paul from Breaking Bad. Has anyone else seen this? His wife decides to stop drinking and it just shows her challenges and struggles... I thought it was SO good, I laughed and cried, and this movie hit SO close to home for me..
Anyway, I don't know if anyone will read this. But thanks for listening if you did. <3
I'm slightly new to this forum. After getting into LOTS of trouble in my family, in my relationship, and with the law even, I've maintained sobriety for about 4 months now.
I feel like I'm on the right track but I've really had to cut connections with most of my old friends. I tried to maintain sobriety around these people but it just doesn't feel right, and I don't think they really understand where I'm at in life right now.
Luckily, I have a supportive boyfriend. But I pretty much gave up on all my old friends because the only time we even connected was to get high or drunk and party.
Anyway, I try not to let it get me down. I have a good job. I'm getting more involved in my church. I have an awesome dog. haha. But it's almost like I've forgotten how to make friends now that I'm sober. I've become really shy. Anyone else ever feel like that? Advice would be great...
I read a lot more now. And I write.
Last night I watched "smashed" with Aaron Paul from Breaking Bad. Has anyone else seen this? His wife decides to stop drinking and it just shows her challenges and struggles... I thought it was SO good, I laughed and cried, and this movie hit SO close to home for me..
Anyway, I don't know if anyone will read this. But thanks for listening if you did. <3
AlmA
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Marbella Spain
Posts: 714
Hi Blopi,
You are doing really really well,
you have to keep away from that environment
and when you are awake are not in the same wave as the others...
and the last thing you need is a couple that takes...
It is not just giving up drinking/using:
* Need to keep away from the wrong Circles.
* Change the life style.
* Get new hobbies. (Reading+writing+church... is a great thing to do... the more the merrier.).
* Sports the more the merrier (plus you get a lovely figure)
* and lots of Love and support. Come here any time or to the chat when you are having a low moment, we are here to help each other...
Ps. will see the film
You are going to the right direction, you will never regret it.
You are doing really really well,
you have to keep away from that environment
and when you are awake are not in the same wave as the others...
and the last thing you need is a couple that takes...
It is not just giving up drinking/using:
* Need to keep away from the wrong Circles.
* Change the life style.
* Get new hobbies. (Reading+writing+church... is a great thing to do... the more the merrier.).
* Sports the more the merrier (plus you get a lovely figure)
* and lots of Love and support. Come here any time or to the chat when you are having a low moment, we are here to help each other...
Ps. will see the film
You are going to the right direction, you will never regret it.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
Good for you for 4 months sober and for recognizing that you need to make changes in your life to continue your recovery.
And, yes, I am less social than I was when I was drinking, but I decided that's okay.
And, yes, I am less social than I was when I was drinking, but I decided that's okay.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 8
Thank you so much for the kind and caring support, you guys.
You're all very, very right. I need to make room for more hobbies and avoid all that. Perhaps those weren't all true friends, anyway. Just acquaintances with similar desires to be under the influence, or whatever. Kinda sad. But just another lesson learned, and a reason to grow from here.
And yes, it's definitely OKAY to be more shy, I need to be accepting of that.
This is all such a learning experience for me.
I'll tell you one thing though, it sure feels good to be clear-headed and be able to think and reflect and just FEEL.
You responses meant the world to me this evening.
Many thanks <3
You're all very, very right. I need to make room for more hobbies and avoid all that. Perhaps those weren't all true friends, anyway. Just acquaintances with similar desires to be under the influence, or whatever. Kinda sad. But just another lesson learned, and a reason to grow from here.
And yes, it's definitely OKAY to be more shy, I need to be accepting of that.
This is all such a learning experience for me.
I'll tell you one thing though, it sure feels good to be clear-headed and be able to think and reflect and just FEEL.
You responses meant the world to me this evening.
Many thanks <3
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Lynnwood WA
Posts: 424
I found that my social life encouraged my alcoholism. When I do hang out with family and friends that I do have, it's a pleasant time that I remember. It's different but it's definitely for the better.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 8
Originally Posted by pattyj 
I found that my social life encouraged my alcoholism. When I do hang out with family and friends that I do have, it's a pleasant time that I remember. It's different but it's definitely for the better.
Thanks
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 8
Originally Posted by jaynie04
Hi BB...I just watched "smashed" thanks to your recommendation! Awesome, thank you so much!
You're welcome! I'm glad you liked it...
It just seemed to ring so true. I loved it, a new favorite. I also love how the end keeps you hanging.
Great flick.
And funny, too.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,308
hi Blopi
Four months is fabulous. of course you have to leave your drinking buddies behind, the friendship was most likely based around drinking and the false feelings that alcohol can generate. You sound like you are doing fine.
Thanks for the heads up on the movie, I will look out for it.
CaiHong
Four months is fabulous. of course you have to leave your drinking buddies behind, the friendship was most likely based around drinking and the false feelings that alcohol can generate. You sound like you are doing fine.
Thanks for the heads up on the movie, I will look out for it.
CaiHong
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: London Ont
Posts: 5
I find it hard to make new friends also... Im shy too. Thats why I used to drink because of social anxiety!
Last week I applied to Volunteer at a art gallery... I love the arts and I thought that might be good spot to meet people with similar interests to me.
Last week I applied to Volunteer at a art gallery... I love the arts and I thought that might be good spot to meet people with similar interests to me.
The Long and Winding Road....
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Brisbane QLD
Posts: 897
you have achieved four months of sobriety and for a recovering alcoholic it is indeed a miracle.....thats awesome and keep up the good work.
you have much to offer here so please continue to post....
and by the way, WELCOME
you have much to offer here so please continue to post....
and by the way, WELCOME
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,129
Hi! Can I call you Bloppy?
I really liked the movie Smashed as well and I could relate, too.
I was kind of hoping they would show withdrawals or the nitty gritty of detox but I understand it's just a movie.
Aaron Paul is easy on the eyes, too!
Welcome to SR, congratulations on your sober time!
I really liked the movie Smashed as well and I could relate, too.
I was kind of hoping they would show withdrawals or the nitty gritty of detox but I understand it's just a movie.
Aaron Paul is easy on the eyes, too!
Welcome to SR, congratulations on your sober time!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Long Beach, CA
Posts: 705
Hi! All these SR gurus are right...there is nothing wrong with being on your own for awhile. You're doing all the right things. It's not easy, but if you just keep remembering how bad it was, never sugar coat it or romanticize it, you can stay sober.
Here's a link to a great comic for the dog lover in you...
My Dog: The Paradox - The Oatmeal
Here's a link to a great comic for the dog lover in you...
My Dog: The Paradox - The Oatmeal
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Europe
Posts: 1,361
I haven't been able to make new friends being sober....
Keeping on meeting people who like to get wasted to kill time.
I don't want that in my life anymore, so I choose to be alone, next to my girlfriend and dog and other pets.
At first I felt really sorry for myself and I was talking myself down all the time (socially disturbed, awkward guy I am, must be crazy etc. etc.).
But now I've come to realize my former addictive life was socially disturbed, awkward and crazy.
I'm way too busy living to sit around being lazy with lazy folks getting wasted feeling like $%^&.
I'm open for a true clean constructive friendship but for as long as I don't find folks like that it's just me myself and I. Luckely i've learned to love myself.
Keeping on meeting people who like to get wasted to kill time.
I don't want that in my life anymore, so I choose to be alone, next to my girlfriend and dog and other pets
.At first I felt really sorry for myself and I was talking myself down all the time (socially disturbed, awkward guy I am, must be crazy etc. etc.).
But now I've come to realize my former addictive life was socially disturbed, awkward and crazy.
I'm way too busy living to sit around being lazy with lazy folks getting wasted feeling like $%^&.
I'm open for a true clean constructive friendship but for as long as I don't find folks like that it's just me myself and I. Luckely i've learned to love myself
.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 8
I'm glad a lot of you enjoyed that flick too! I'm not sure if it's on Netflix, I found it on either Starz or Encore on demand... Definitely worth finding and watching, though.
What a wonderful group of intelligent, motivated, and kind people here on this forum.. I guess I can make some new friends right here at the tips of my fingers.
I am proud to be sober, I feel like I'm in the minority sometimes, so it's so great to hear from you all.
So glad to be here, thanks for the support from ALL of you. I'll be here often!!
Have a great day everybody <3
What a wonderful group of intelligent, motivated, and kind people here on this forum.. I guess I can make some new friends right here at the tips of my fingers.
I am proud to be sober, I feel like I'm in the minority sometimes, so it's so great to hear from you all.
So glad to be here, thanks for the support from ALL of you. I'll be here often!!
Have a great day everybody <3
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