CONFESSIONAL! What stupid things have you done drunk?
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 11,351
CONFESSIONAL! What stupid things have you done drunk?
Hi all. Now I'm desperately trying to stay sober. I have been thinking of some of the things i did drunk or that i vaguely remember i did or don't remember at all.
How much danger i must have put myself in at times....
OMG! My list was growing fast ...i need to purge to move on....
No#1 .... I woke up in my bed with my clothes inside out from the night b4 ...i cant even remember how i got home.
No#2. My husband got a call from a taxi company telling him i left my phone in their taxi when they dropped me off.... Can't remember getting a taxi
No#3 I withdrew my whole pay and spent it in the casino..i thought my wallet was stolen , but footage shows me playing.
No#4 i drove to the casino and got a DUI blew 3 times the limit, lost my license for a year and had to have blower monitor installed for 12 months at a cost of $300 a month .
Please feel free to add your experiences , it might make me feel better...ugh...
No#5 ? ............
How much danger i must have put myself in at times....
OMG! My list was growing fast ...i need to purge to move on....
No#1 .... I woke up in my bed with my clothes inside out from the night b4 ...i cant even remember how i got home.
No#2. My husband got a call from a taxi company telling him i left my phone in their taxi when they dropped me off.... Can't remember getting a taxi
No#3 I withdrew my whole pay and spent it in the casino..i thought my wallet was stolen , but footage shows me playing.
No#4 i drove to the casino and got a DUI blew 3 times the limit, lost my license for a year and had to have blower monitor installed for 12 months at a cost of $300 a month .
Please feel free to add your experiences , it might make me feel better...ugh...
No#5 ? ............
Recognizes the Beast
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: In the kitchen, cooking up a storm
Posts: 704
Hey Snoozy,
When I first joined SR, I would love to post in threads like this..."Stupid things you've done" or "How much did you drink during the week".
You're right it is a kind of confessional and was, I dunno, cathartic I suppose. All those things I was so ashamed of, I could finally talk about.
Now though, I just look back with a lot of regret and sadness. I don't really need to or want to rehash all the awful, shameful things I did. I've come to terms with the fact that I did a lot of bad things while I was drinking and choose not to dwell on them. It's all part of the same package of realization that I can never, ever drink again.
Not a castigation by any means, I completely understand where you're coming from. Just wanted to point out that perhaps as we progress longer into sobriety and the weeks turn into months and years, these things begin fade into the distance and become increasing irrelevant.
When I first joined SR, I would love to post in threads like this..."Stupid things you've done" or "How much did you drink during the week".
You're right it is a kind of confessional and was, I dunno, cathartic I suppose. All those things I was so ashamed of, I could finally talk about.
Now though, I just look back with a lot of regret and sadness. I don't really need to or want to rehash all the awful, shameful things I did. I've come to terms with the fact that I did a lot of bad things while I was drinking and choose not to dwell on them. It's all part of the same package of realization that I can never, ever drink again.
Not a castigation by any means, I completely understand where you're coming from. Just wanted to point out that perhaps as we progress longer into sobriety and the weeks turn into months and years, these things begin fade into the distance and become increasing irrelevant.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Earth
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Taking both posts into account, a spiral fracture of my leg\ankle. I can still feel the screws. I don't feel shame any longer, perhaps I shall rub them as a reminder should I obsess with thoughts of drinking again.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
The dumbest thing I did when I was drinking was just that - I kept drinking. Lots of bad/stupid/embarrassing things happened to me while I was drunk of course, but none of them would have if I wouldn't have kept drinking.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Ma
Posts: 3,553
I think the most embarassing times were when I started falling down.
Out of the blue I would lose my balance while drunk and just go down,and hard sometimes.
The last time I fell I was alone,thank goodness. Nobody to see my stupid dive down the banking in the back yard. Bent my right hand backwoods so hard I have pain in a few joints to this day. And that was over 3 months ago.
Out of the blue I would lose my balance while drunk and just go down,and hard sometimes.
The last time I fell I was alone,thank goodness. Nobody to see my stupid dive down the banking in the back yard. Bent my right hand backwoods so hard I have pain in a few joints to this day. And that was over 3 months ago.
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: NE Wisconsin USA
Posts: 6,223
SnoozyQ....Easy Does It.....mainly look at these events of your life as the unmanageability part of the 1st step.
I appreciate your OP...you are living in the solution and doing well.
Certainly it has been hard for me not thinking about all of this stuff that I did, but at the beginning of recovery it tended to also be clothed in shame, guilt, regret, and embarrassment. I wallowed around in the past. There also was still the excitement, adrenaline, and danger of it all very fresh.
Today, as promised in AA, I don't regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
Also, helpful to know everyone has done what I did while using...it was just the people, dates, and times, that changed.
Sometimes in making out these lists....which I have made many....I looked at it as a badge of honor...a perverse pride of how messed up and sick I was.
If you work the AA/NA programs much of this can be put on the back burner for the 4th/5th step.
I appreciate your OP...you are living in the solution and doing well.
Certainly it has been hard for me not thinking about all of this stuff that I did, but at the beginning of recovery it tended to also be clothed in shame, guilt, regret, and embarrassment. I wallowed around in the past. There also was still the excitement, adrenaline, and danger of it all very fresh.
Today, as promised in AA, I don't regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
Also, helpful to know everyone has done what I did while using...it was just the people, dates, and times, that changed.
Sometimes in making out these lists....which I have made many....I looked at it as a badge of honor...a perverse pride of how messed up and sick I was.
If you work the AA/NA programs much of this can be put on the back burner for the 4th/5th step.
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: North Idaho
Posts: 508
Sorry to hear all that. Helps to talk about it though! Be strong and don't beat yourself up. I'm quite guilty of self-loathing about mistakes. Getting married on a bender to someone I just met, breaking bones falling, etc. Somehow I think the memories help keep me strong.
Good luck!
Good luck!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Oregon
Posts: 37
Years ago I was at a party in an apartment complex. I somehow fell off the balcony from a second floor apartment into a flower bed below. I got up and made my way through the courtyard and back up only to find the apartment was dark and quiet. I was convince that my friends were playing a joke on me so I went in through an open window and found the place empty. I went out on the balcony to discover the real party was still going on a couple apartments down. It turned out I was in the complex manager’s apartment and they happened to be gone at the time. As I was leaving the next morning, I saw the police dusting the window for finger prints.
I planned to go back to explain what had happened but I was in the military at the time so I thought better of it. I could have at least left an anonymous note on his door so he didn’t have to live in fear. I’m very lucky I didn’t meet up with an armed homeowner.
I planned to go back to explain what had happened but I was in the military at the time so I thought better of it. I could have at least left an anonymous note on his door so he didn’t have to live in fear. I’m very lucky I didn’t meet up with an armed homeowner.
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Tampa FL
Posts: 178
I have embarrassed myself countless times in countless ways...and those are just things I remember. I've stopped asking for details of nights I don't remember because it hurts to much to hear. I find it virtually impossible to reconcile the drunk me with the sober me. I do and say things say things that are so completely out of character....and the people on the receiving end have no idea that I'm in a black out and just think that is the who I am since I apparently don't seem drunk! That is not the real me but no amount of sobriety will change their first impression of me 
. It makes me very sad.
you are not alone in your regrets. All we can do is start fresh today and not let alcohol be the reason for more regrets....forgive yourself.
. It makes me very sad.you are not alone in your regrets. All we can do is start fresh today and not let alcohol be the reason for more regrets....forgive yourself.
Instead, I prefer to think about all the fantastic things I've been able to do while sober.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,472
The list could really go on and on but one of my dumber moments happened about two years ago.
I got pissed off about something and kicked my couch really hard while drunk. I thought I was going to kick the soft part but missed and hit the wooden leg. I broke my foot but was so drunk I didn't fully appreciate it at the moment. While this was happening I was reheating some homemade chili on the stove. I went over to that after the couch incident and poured myself a nice bowl of chili with shredded cheese. As I started to walk over to the couch with my chili dinner, my foot gave out and I fell to the floor. The chili spilled everywhere and I cut my hand on the shards of the bowl.
So there I was. Drunk, foot broken, on the floor covered in chili and bleeding. I recall at the time thinking to myself I had hit a new low.
I got pissed off about something and kicked my couch really hard while drunk. I thought I was going to kick the soft part but missed and hit the wooden leg. I broke my foot but was so drunk I didn't fully appreciate it at the moment. While this was happening I was reheating some homemade chili on the stove. I went over to that after the couch incident and poured myself a nice bowl of chili with shredded cheese. As I started to walk over to the couch with my chili dinner, my foot gave out and I fell to the floor. The chili spilled everywhere and I cut my hand on the shards of the bowl.
So there I was. Drunk, foot broken, on the floor covered in chili and bleeding. I recall at the time thinking to myself I had hit a new low.
Perpetual Optimist
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: LA
Posts: 1,371
I fell down an entire flight of stone steps head first in a dress and stilettos with two drinks in my hand in front of a date, lost my favorite ring during the fall, and immediately and miraculously stood up, unscathed. Bartenders insisted on calling 911. My ego was what was most damaged.
Lost my iPod on a cruise and had the entire ship staff alerted, probably accused some staff of theft, then found it in my luggage the next morning.
Tried to fight a girl (who could have WHOOPED MY AZZ) because I thought she was wearing my jacket- except my jacket was black and hers was jean. Talk about liquid courage!
A few of many stories. I'm just glad to be sober!
Lost my iPod on a cruise and had the entire ship staff alerted, probably accused some staff of theft, then found it in my luggage the next morning.
Tried to fight a girl (who could have WHOOPED MY AZZ) because I thought she was wearing my jacket- except my jacket was black and hers was jean. Talk about liquid courage!
A few of many stories. I'm just glad to be sober!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 11,351
[QUOTE=countingdays;4239546]I have embarrassed myself countless times in countless ways...and those are just things I remember. I've stopped asking for details of nights I don't remember because it hurts to much to hear. I find it virtually impossible to reconcile the drunk me with the sober me.
Oh wow , did that strike a cord. I was mortified the morning after and didn't want to dissect the evenings events .
I am going into my 4th sober month soon and I feel i need to remember these things in order to stop me doing them again. Thanks so much , you all just seem to understand where I'm coming from.
There is no other place on earth i would even contemplate discussing this .
I feel safe here and it's helping my recovery , there are probably a few humorous stories but i don't want to glorify being pissed . I appreciate every single one of your comments
Oh wow , did that strike a cord. I was mortified the morning after and didn't want to dissect the evenings events .
I am going into my 4th sober month soon and I feel i need to remember these things in order to stop me doing them again. Thanks so much , you all just seem to understand where I'm coming from.
There is no other place on earth i would even contemplate discussing this .
I feel safe here and it's helping my recovery , there are probably a few humorous stories but i don't want to glorify being pissed . I appreciate every single one of your comments
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 638
* messing with the wrong people due to "liquid courage", once almost got shot.
* gotten into street fights for very childish (and drunken) reasons, and mostly lost them too
* DUIs x2, with the other driving the car into the gutter while trying to turn a sportscar I borrowed and needed a "U-turn" where it was dangerous and not even possible. (in a hurry to a party accross the country, a long trip).
* been thrown out of bars enough times
* stolen money, stolen a phone drunk, drinking other people's drinks
* asked a RELATIVE for sex, they said yes
* facebook rampage
* calling all the numbers in the phone
* ghost-hunting in the graveyard because was kicked out of bar
* ended up having gay sex
* making an explosive reputation for myself, which is pretty much the reverse of reality
* ended up doing drugs
* ended up in financial difficulty, owing the state about 10k
* barely avoided jailtime
* ruined my education
* suffered from daytime psychosis without knowing it
...and many others...
I bet there is a lot of things everyone has done if everything is taken into count.
* gotten into street fights for very childish (and drunken) reasons, and mostly lost them too
* DUIs x2, with the other driving the car into the gutter while trying to turn a sportscar I borrowed and needed a "U-turn" where it was dangerous and not even possible. (in a hurry to a party accross the country, a long trip).
* been thrown out of bars enough times
* stolen money, stolen a phone drunk, drinking other people's drinks
* asked a RELATIVE for sex, they said yes
* facebook rampage
* calling all the numbers in the phone
* ghost-hunting in the graveyard because was kicked out of bar
* ended up having gay sex
* making an explosive reputation for myself, which is pretty much the reverse of reality
* ended up doing drugs
* ended up in financial difficulty, owing the state about 10k
* barely avoided jailtime
* ruined my education
* suffered from daytime psychosis without knowing it
...and many others...
I bet there is a lot of things everyone has done if everything is taken into count.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Nutmegger
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While on vacation, having a housekeeper on a golf cart have to take me back to my room because I couldn't find it. Making her sing the pillow pet song with me, "come on sing along Mary, it's a pillow, it's a pet, it's a pillow pet!"
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Join Date: Dec 2012
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Too many to mention.
For me,thinking about bad things kept me sober in the short term but memories fade. Bad things fade,don't seem as bad. It's not enough to remember the bad things to keep me sober.
I try and focus on positives of sobriety rather than the negatives of drinking. POsitive thoughts rather than negative ones
For me,thinking about bad things kept me sober in the short term but memories fade. Bad things fade,don't seem as bad. It's not enough to remember the bad things to keep me sober.
I try and focus on positives of sobriety rather than the negatives of drinking. POsitive thoughts rather than negative ones
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
7 months into sobriety, there is not a day that goes by when I do not think of the night that I had my last drink. This imprint on my memory has left me with enough guilt to last a good long time. Some days that guilt is relieved by all that I have accomplished within the last 7 months. Some days that guilt makes me want to retreat to a dark place never to resurface again. When I think of this night, I am Thankful to be sober and mending all the hurt internally. Slowly but surely, I am starting to feel a bit more forgiveness towards myself. Slowly. Forgiveness is a long long road that has to be walked and discovered. ....Yea.
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 172
Well this is part of a list I made when trying to write out my thoughts on whether or not I am really an alcoholic:
1. Stealing..the worst being a can of donations for needy kids
2. DUI at 19 (I'm 32 now)
3. Tore esophagus and was vomiting blood by 20. Dr. told me to stop drinking or I could die.....after a short break, I decided to just stop vomiting instead.
4. A petty theft arrest for lifting a couple handles of booze (while drunk)
5. Car chases with drug dealers resulting in crashes
6. Passenger is car accidents with drunk friends driving....
7. Too many blackouts to count
8. Broken relationships and wasting time in relationships that I shouldn't have been in.
9. Serious stomach problems/ulcers that have helped encourage me to finally quit.
Day 5 feels even better after writing a few of those down. That's a short list and I think that the lost time is one of the worst things about it....but we do have today to make a change. We shouldn't dwell too much on these things rather take appropriate responsibility, forgive ourselves, move on, and make amends if need be. We can weigh ourselves down with our past regrets if we focus on them too much rather than focusing on today and the road and path we are on (or trying to stay on).
1. Stealing..the worst being a can of donations for needy kids
2. DUI at 19 (I'm 32 now)
3. Tore esophagus and was vomiting blood by 20. Dr. told me to stop drinking or I could die.....after a short break, I decided to just stop vomiting instead.
4. A petty theft arrest for lifting a couple handles of booze (while drunk)
5. Car chases with drug dealers resulting in crashes
6. Passenger is car accidents with drunk friends driving....
7. Too many blackouts to count
8. Broken relationships and wasting time in relationships that I shouldn't have been in.
9. Serious stomach problems/ulcers that have helped encourage me to finally quit.
Day 5 feels even better after writing a few of those down. That's a short list and I think that the lost time is one of the worst things about it....but we do have today to make a change. We shouldn't dwell too much on these things rather take appropriate responsibility, forgive ourselves, move on, and make amends if need be. We can weigh ourselves down with our past regrets if we focus on them too much rather than focusing on today and the road and path we are on (or trying to stay on).
Last edited by RiverFriend; 10-15-2013 at 09:43 AM. Reason: TMI
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,129
A sober and professional man was starting to show some interest in me. We had been texting back and forth, working our way up to admitting we wanted to go on a date. The weird part is I met him on a job interview. He was doing the preliminary interviewing and I would be working with him if I got the job. So it was a mix of acting professional yet starting to admit this extra interest we both felt.
He checks in to say hi through text one night while I was wasted, just wasted at home.
I woke up the next day and read texts where I told him we should go on a date, that I liked him and I needed to rehydrate my ovaries. It wasn't an autocorrect fail. I had gone on at length to equate my singleness with dry ovaries. In my drunkenness, it was some kind of metaphor that proved I didn't casually sleep around.
Wtf, REHYDRATE MY OVARIES? I even creeped myself out when I read that.
Never heard from him again, obviously.
That one now makes me laugh but I have a ton of stories where I did extremely dangerous and life-threatening things that make me cringe. I'll stay on this side of the bottle, thankyouverymuch!!
He checks in to say hi through text one night while I was wasted, just wasted at home.
I woke up the next day and read texts where I told him we should go on a date, that I liked him and I needed to rehydrate my ovaries. It wasn't an autocorrect fail. I had gone on at length to equate my singleness with dry ovaries. In my drunkenness, it was some kind of metaphor that proved I didn't casually sleep around.
Wtf, REHYDRATE MY OVARIES? I even creeped myself out when I read that.
Never heard from him again, obviously.
That one now makes me laugh but I have a ton of stories where I did extremely dangerous and life-threatening things that make me cringe. I'll stay on this side of the bottle, thankyouverymuch!!
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