How about this for a possible solution?
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Originally Posted by soberhawk 
I do hope she will get more sensible, it is dangerous what she is doing.
You can not decide for her.
I am sorry you guys are going through this.
You can not decide for her.
I am sorry you guys are going through this.
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Originally Posted by MN81713
Thank you, she would be in college right now, she always was above her class....I did this, I just pray nothing happens to her... sure not looking forward to life in prison....should I just drive there and try, sit here by the phone? I am going crazy...
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Originally Posted by soberhawk
Do not go that blame way now.
What drug habit does she have?
What drug habit does she have?
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Originally Posted by Mizzuno
No, you did not do this. Yes, in the past some decisions were made that you are not proud of. You are turning your life around now, and please continue to walk in this direction. Your daughter is 20 years old, and she is making decisions for her life now. You can not save her. I am sure that many people tried to stop me on my path of destruction, and I was not able to hear them. At 20 years of age, we do know right from wrong even if all that we were shown was destruction. My mother was living a very hard life since I was 5 years old. At 20, I needed to make decisions for myself being that I was an adult. She is her own person and will make her own decisions. Show her what needs to be done to have a stellar life. Go to work, school, and keep things stable. This is what you can do to help. Do not drive to her while all of these emotions are running so high. It will not help the situation. I am sorry that you are going through this.
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Try to calm down, being stressed and excitable might give you an excuse to drink. If you've been drinking you can not risk innocent lives driving drunk . Why not make some calls to support staff in your out patient re hab....... It might help to speak with someone who knows your situation.
Swashbuckler
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Nether-world (CA)
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Originally Posted by MN81713
I am sure you have read the rest...now she is with pimps, convicts, etc. they all know me but I am not in the game anymore but they are targeting my baby...I don't really know what to do....be selfish, stay here sober or go and rescue her which obviously will result in violence...just waiting for a call and calling.....
However, if you'd be able to take a step back and, for a brief moment remove yourself from the viscous cycle your and your daughter's life seem to be right now, just to get a perspective, you might be able to see a sliver of hope.
Every crisis also represents a chance to start anew. You have two serious crisis at hand, your daughter's and your own. You will NOT be able to do anything to help her if you're passed out, drunk, shaking, afraid.
Therefore, by staying sober you're NOT "selfish", on the contrary, you're the most un-selfish you could be for in order to help her you need to help yourself first. So, get well. Take 10 showers if needed when you go crazy of worry. Take a walk. Take a shower again.
Also, be ready with a contingency plan. If she really needs to escape, you can tell her to get a cab, I hope you could pay for it, even if it is four hours away and come home.
But your focus, absolutely, should be your own betterment that would provide you with strength to cope...
Good luck!
...
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Originally Posted by Pondlady
Try to calm down, being stressed and excitable might give you an excuse to drink. If you've been drinking you can not risk innocent lives driving drunk . Why not make some calls to support staff in your out patient re hab....... It might help to speak with someone who knows your situation.
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Originally Posted by Correy
Damn, such a precarious situation... it's painful to read it...
However, if you'd be able to take a step back and, for a brief moment remove yourself from the viscous cycle your and your daughter's life seem to be right now, just to get a perspective, you might be able to see a sliver of hope.
Every crisis also represents a chance to start anew. You have two serious crisis at hand, your daughter's and your own. You will NOT be able to do anything to help her if you're passed out, drunk, shaking, afraid.
Therefore, by staying sober you're NOT "selfish", on the contrary, you're the most un-selfish you could be for in order to help her you need to help yourself first. So, get well. Take 10 showers if needed when you go crazy of worry. Take a walk. Take a shower again.
Also, be ready with a contingency plan. If she really needs to escape, you can tell her to get a cab, I hope you could pay for it, even if it is four hours away and come home.
But your focus, absolutely, should be your own betterment that would provide you with strength to cope...
Good luck!
...
However, if you'd be able to take a step back and, for a brief moment remove yourself from the viscous cycle your and your daughter's life seem to be right now, just to get a perspective, you might be able to see a sliver of hope.
Every crisis also represents a chance to start anew. You have two serious crisis at hand, your daughter's and your own. You will NOT be able to do anything to help her if you're passed out, drunk, shaking, afraid.
Therefore, by staying sober you're NOT "selfish", on the contrary, you're the most un-selfish you could be for in order to help her you need to help yourself first. So, get well. Take 10 showers if needed when you go crazy of worry. Take a walk. Take a shower again.
Also, be ready with a contingency plan. If she really needs to escape, you can tell her to get a cab, I hope you could pay for it, even if it is four hours away and come home.
But your focus, absolutely, should be your own betterment that would provide you with strength to cope...
Good luck!
...
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Originally Posted by alphaomega
No MN, here is what I'm not saying:
You taught by example how to lie, cheat, swindle and steal.
Now teach her by example how to bring yourself back from the depths of Hell.
You taught by example how to lie, cheat, swindle and steal.
Now teach her by example how to bring yourself back from the depths of Hell.
Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,887
I do. But as Clarence said in Its A Wonderful Life , you're not gonna like it, George.
I am actually thisclose to a similar situation. My friend is an addict and her 20 year old daughter on heroin, pills, booze, etc. This little white girl (the daughter) loved the fast life. She'd go to the west side of Chicago and score, and run drugs for thugs, and do horrifying things for them. You know the game. You even know the players. Sound like you ran it for a while.
If she's in it, she likes it. That is awful to hear, I know. But you more than anyone knows that it is a choice. She is an adult now, well by numerical standards of what constitutes an adult. She is making choices.
You are out of the game so to speak, yet your addiction continues to give you permission to use the kindness of others (your parents, your boss, your teachers, etc).
What saved you from that place ? What made you decide enough ?
You want to save her, then save yourself. All the way. Not drinking your way through a masters. Or Using everyone in your life to further impound your self in this prison.
I am actually thisclose to a similar situation. My friend is an addict and her 20 year old daughter on heroin, pills, booze, etc. This little white girl (the daughter) loved the fast life. She'd go to the west side of Chicago and score, and run drugs for thugs, and do horrifying things for them. You know the game. You even know the players. Sound like you ran it for a while.
If she's in it, she likes it. That is awful to hear, I know. But you more than anyone knows that it is a choice. She is an adult now, well by numerical standards of what constitutes an adult. She is making choices.
You are out of the game so to speak, yet your addiction continues to give you permission to use the kindness of others (your parents, your boss, your teachers, etc).
What saved you from that place ? What made you decide enough ?
You want to save her, then save yourself. All the way. Not drinking your way through a masters. Or Using everyone in your life to further impound your self in this prison.
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Originally Posted by alphaomega
I do. But as Clarence said in Its A Wonderful Life , you're not gonna like it, George.
I am actually thisclose to a similar situation. My friend is an addict and her 20 year old daughter on heroin, pills, booze, etc. This little white girl (the daughter) loved the fast life. She'd go to the west side of Chicago and score, and run drugs for thugs, and do horrifying things for them. You know the game. You even know the players. Sound like you ran it for a while.
If she's in it, she likes it. That is awful to hear, I know. But you more than anyone knows that it is a choice. She is an adult now, well by numerical standards of what constitutes an adult. She is making choices.
You are out of the game so to speak, yet your addiction continues to give you permission to use the kindness of others (your parents, your boss, your teachers, etc).
What saved you from that place ? What made you decide enough ?
You want to save her, then save yourself. All the way. Not drinking your way through a masters. Or Using everyone in your life to further impound your self in this prison.
I am actually thisclose to a similar situation. My friend is an addict and her 20 year old daughter on heroin, pills, booze, etc. This little white girl (the daughter) loved the fast life. She'd go to the west side of Chicago and score, and run drugs for thugs, and do horrifying things for them. You know the game. You even know the players. Sound like you ran it for a while.
If she's in it, she likes it. That is awful to hear, I know. But you more than anyone knows that it is a choice. She is an adult now, well by numerical standards of what constitutes an adult. She is making choices.
You are out of the game so to speak, yet your addiction continues to give you permission to use the kindness of others (your parents, your boss, your teachers, etc).
What saved you from that place ? What made you decide enough ?
You want to save her, then save yourself. All the way. Not drinking your way through a masters. Or Using everyone in your life to further impound your self in this prison.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
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Originally Posted by MN81713
Wow, your right, I am doing the same things just in a different way, this was a hard post to read and admit, but you are correct. Thank you.
You haven't demonstrated an ability or a desire to get your own house in order. Your daughter is a convenient distraction for you to not tend to your own affairs. You can't help her before you help yourself. Even then, a mother's love is not enough to extract their children from dangers of their own choosing.
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Originally Posted by EndGameNYC
Your daughter is in serious trouble, and headed towards much more that will likely be even more serious.
You haven't demonstrated an ability or a desire to get your own house in order. Your daughter is a convenient distraction for you to not tend to your own affairs. You can't help her before you help yourself. Even then, a mother's love is not enough to extract their children from dangers of their own choosing.
You haven't demonstrated an ability or a desire to get your own house in order. Your daughter is a convenient distraction for you to not tend to your own affairs. You can't help her before you help yourself. Even then, a mother's love is not enough to extract their children from dangers of their own choosing.
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: west Coast
Posts: 71
Hey there,
Just wanted to toss this in. EndGameNYC only echoed what others had said
---no judgement, nothing but an honest observation. Seems to have hit you differently for some reason
Even here on SR int is fairly rarely that you get the old--"my daughter is turning tricks and then robbing them" trope---maybe in your world but not too often in many others.
BUT far more importantly God's grace takes us every one exactly where he finds us---AND we are all the same. No one is better than---or less than!
So how do you find a way out---not sure. But lot's of praying and NO drinking are all the simple answers (the start) to a very complex problem. Seems like this may evolve over a period of time but you will not find a better friend than EGNYC!
Just wanted to toss this in. EndGameNYC only echoed what others had said
---no judgement, nothing but an honest observation. Seems to have hit you differently for some reason
Even here on SR int is fairly rarely that you get the old--"my daughter is turning tricks and then robbing them" trope---maybe in your world but not too often in many others.
BUT far more importantly God's grace takes us every one exactly where he finds us---AND we are all the same. No one is better than---or less than!
So how do you find a way out---not sure. But lot's of praying and NO drinking are all the simple answers (the start) to a very complex problem. Seems like this may evolve over a period of time but you will not find a better friend than EGNYC!
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Originally Posted by alphaomega
Please let is know if you were able to get in touch with her.
Your story has haunted me all day...
Your story has haunted me all day...
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