BikerAcct

So, I took myself out to dinner last night.

Got home from work, and it was a nice night. After having just got my license back after a 6 mos suspension and missing the entire riding season, passing 6mos sober. I figured I deserved a treat. I wanted to eat, badly. So I hopped on my bike and went to one of my favorite places, a place called The Firehouse.

Yes, it's billed as a Tavern/Bar, but it was never one of the places I went only to drink, though of course, I did drink there. They have a fantasic menu, wonderful cooks, and some really good food.

So I park the bike and have to walk thru the outside patio. It's filled with people drinking, eating, but mostly, drinking. I think that though this was where I'd usually stop and eat, not a good idea tonight. So I went inside.

I took a seat at the mostly empty bar (didn't want to take up an entire booth or table just myself as the dinner rush was just starting) ordered a pepsi and a menu. First thing I noticed, the barmaid didn't notice. She didn't seem to care that I'd only ordered a soda. Second thing I noticed was I'd probably just saved myself 10 bucks. Normally when I'd stop here, I'd order a good craft and a shot of vodka to start dinner.

As I was eating I noticed the people around me. Some had beers/alcohol, others did not. Most, and I never noticed this before, nursed their single beer the ENTIRE MEAL!. I would have gone thru at least 3. As a matter of fact, the couple next to me, not only didn't finish their 2 beers, they ordered water along with the meal and were drinking water, eating, sipping beer, eating, drinking water. What was I seeing? I don't think I ever drank like that.

Another lady, probably around my age, met what was probably a date. She nursed a vodka tonic the entire time I was there. I was there nearly an hour. She hadn't even finished it.

Of course there were a few people drinking more, but not overly so. I'm sure the patio crowd was more boisterous, hence why I avoided going there. Still, it's the first time I've been out to a place that a lot of drinking occurs, and I was surprised by how much non, or little, drinking went on by some people that were there too.

I learned something.

I also learned, it's a hell of a lot cheaper to eat out without the booze on the bill. I walked out of there with a total tab of 16 dollars including tip. Often, the bar portion of my dinner bill would be at least that alone!

I'm in my 7th month sober now, and couldn't be happier.

83mama0f2

I was always really good about not drinking too much while dining out because I hate spending that kind of money when I could drink at home for cheaper. I usually would order 1 or 2 glasses of wine unless dining out with friends or family that were paying and offering more or ordering bottles at a time. Then I'd drink there was no more but usually no more than 3 drinks in an evening. But yeah, I rarely nursed mine either. haven't really gone out to dinner where other people are drinking yet, not sure how it will affect me. 28 days here

DoubleDragons

I like the cheaper aspect, too, Biker. I feel like my husband and I are going to get to go out to eat more often! At the restaurant I was at last night, the only table that was getting a constant stream of drinks, was so loud and obnoxious, I was tempted to be asked to move to another area in the restaurant. I, too, have noticed, shockingly, that when I go out about half the tables are not drinking alcoholic beverages at all.

Another funny anecdote, my husband and his friend were laughing about how people complain about the expense of vitamins and organic foods, but they think nothing of slapping $12-$15 down for one martini!!

Pete55

I been to the pub for a meal many times now, watching the "normies" is shear "entertainment", I could never cradle a drink like they do.
I study them, their "normality". And I have seen some on the same glass well after I finished my meal and left. It's beyond me how they do that.
Yet it would be beyond them how I used to drink to !

Mountainmanbob

it's good that you took notice of others drinking habits

let's face it we just don't drink like that

we call them normies

my wife is one

we go out for dinner and she orders one glass of wine

and sometimes does not finish it

sobriety works best for a drunk like me

I also had my license taken a few times over the years

last time was for around 18 months

rode a motorized bicycle around town - 22MPH max

as I look back

it was a good humbling experience

as we know now - driving is a privilege

Mountainman

360shoes

Hi Biker,
I noticed that they don't really look at their drink much either. It's almost like its there but not really there. I have friends that if the waiter came by and accidentally took their drink before they were done drinking it they wouldn't probably even notice.

I was always the one watching my glass to make sure I got another one ordered before I ran out. Planning on the next one before I even finished the first.

Isn't it great not spending all that money! I love having the lowest tab of the night.

Congratulations on the 7 months!!

LadyBlue0527

Congrats on 7 months!!!!!

I call this "Can you spot the differences?" I think it can be enlightening as long as we're mindful of the fact that we aren't, nor will we ever be, one of them. With that being said here's what my findings are thus far (disclaimer that there are always exceptions to the rule)

1. Normies will still, for the most part, be the same exact person at the end of the night that they were in the beginning. They may be a little more jovial than they usually are but nothing comes out of their mouth that they wouldn't say if they were stone cold sober.

2. They take a sip of a drink and put it down. They may not lift the drink again for quite some time. It could sit there for 15 minutes and not be touched. They don't look at it, and they don't scan the room for the nearest server to order another to ensure they don't go without if they finish the drink. Doesn't even matter if there's only one sip left in it.

3. Every so often you'll see someone fan themselves or wipe their face and they say something like "whoohoo, had enough of that" and will push away a half full glass or bottle/can. Imagine that.

4. They will say "Guess it's time to get out of here and go home" rather than things like "So, where are we going next?" or "Where is the party now?".

5. They will make statements like "After I finish this beer I have to get out of here and head to the gym". That one has always made me laugh even when drinking. How does one have alcohol and then go do physical activity? From the first point of my buzz the only physical activity I could count on was walking to the fridge, to the bar, or to the bathroom.

On the flip side, I can also now spot the problem drinkers that I didn't see as being that before. I was in my own little world when I drank with them. I perceived them as normal. I had my close drinking buds that I knew had the same problem as me. I'm referring to people that I thought were in the points that I listed above until I got sober. I watched a friend who I would never question as having an issue in a million years sit and say things that I know full well would never come out of her mouth sober. Private things. I just never noticed before because, like I said I was in my own little buzz world. However, being clear headed when she did it I almost fell off my chair. Then I realized why.

Not that we shouldn't be focused on our own sobriety rather than other people and their non alcohol or alcohol issues. I think it's just human to be naturally curious now that we're on the other side.

DylanS

I found that I had to look to 'normal' drinkers to see that I was an abnormal drinker. Being around people that drank like me, my "alcoholic life seemed the only normal one."

I actually interviewed my wife: have you ever gotten drunk when you didn't mean to? ("What? No, of course not."), etc. I had a vague sense that I wasn't normal, but nothing was as crystal clear as checking out non-alcoholic behavior. It was pretty enlightening - and very helpful for me to understand my alcoholism. Going to AA, everyone was pretty much like me, but it was the contrast, looking at normal drinkers, that really helped cement the awareness.

Great thread - thanks.

wakko

This is a classic case of alcohol abuse. Having one drink and not finishing it is something I cannot understand I guess that is why I'm an alcoholic and she isn't

sillysuzanfree

I don't get it either!! Though I did scale it down at restaurants when I was drinking (as was mentioned in another post)...

Br00ksie

Yeah normies are a wonder! It is also interesting seeing fellow alchies from a sober point of view.

I was recently at a champagne brunch and observed an old drinking friend polish off almost an entire bottle alone!

It made me happy to be sober.

Also, people who don't finish an alcoholic drink might as well be from mars, because that's how little I understand that behavior!

Congrats on 7 months!

happyhour

i often would visit a fine eating establishment and sip a leisurely splendid glass of aged cabernet....

but, that was because i pounded 5 beers before i left the house

bleh! alcohol can kiss my backside.

Br00ksie

I would do the opposite: I'd savor a nice glass of wine with dinner and then hit up the liquor store after for a pint of rye!

Zebra1275

I remember going out to dinner with some friends a few years ago. One of the guys ordered a beer with dinner, then later a second beer. I was drinking diet coke the entire time.

Then he orders his third drink, coffee? WTF? Isn't the point of drinking to get drunk?

We meet up with them later to play cards with a few others. He had switched from coffee to bottled water.

I don't understand that. I would have drank a couple beers in the restaurant, a couple more later when playing cards so that I would appear to be a social drinker. In between I would sneak shots of vodka and when everyone left at the end of the night, I would do my serious drinking.

KristyCat

Aren't normal drinkers weird??! lol. But seriously, I wonder sometimes how alcohol feels to them. I don't think it gives them the same feeling it gives us. I don't think they get the same buzz, high, euphoria, numb etc. feeling that we do, or they would find it very addictive and keep drinking and drinking like we do.

I think we have more than an "addictive personality" as they say--I think our brains are wired differently. I think our nervous systems are hyper-sensitive to alcohol. That's not to take away personal responsibility, but it does explain why we find it near impossible to stop drinking once we've started.

I think normal people regard alcohol like we would a food we like. One of my professors described it to me this way: I love chocolate. Say someone gives me a giant brick of chocolate. At first I'd be like YUM this is so good! But after a little while I'd be like eh...ok take it away, I'm done now! For alcoholics and addicts, we do not have this switch. We never reach satiety with our drug of choice. So when I see a normal person having a drink, I think it's like them having a piece of chocolate or a slice of pizza to me.

KristyCat

Oh P.S. I would never drink with a meal...why waste the calories on food, which soaks up alcohol, when you could be drinking?? Food was meaningless to me when I had alcohol. How very sick I was.

DylanS

KristyC,

There's some great information on the biological component of alcoholism here, if you're interested: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html
I found the book at a used book store and it's a good read, good information.

There really isn't any data to support the addictive personality theory, but I did hear something that resonated with me; a gal said, "I have a MORE allergy" - she wants more of anything that makes her feel different/better.

I once was changed, very briefly, into a normal drinker (physically) by a medication. I could, and did, have only about 1/2 a drink when out with a buddy. I didn't get the euphoria, the craving (which the overload of acetone causes - this is explained in the link above). I felt completely neutral toward it. Until my brain reverted to its normal chemistry (about a week), I was biologically changed to a normal drinker. My experience is anecdotal, to be sure, but made sense in light of what I read in Under the Influence.

Scientists have given Naltrexone (an opiate blocker) to chocolate addicts and suddenly they, the former chocolate bingers, grew very neutral toward it. Take away the biological reward and the fixation/drive seems to dissipate.

I, too, would never even consider eating before or during drinking; a very empty stomach ensured a bigger 'hit' from the alcohol; my brain had a very keen eye on the biggest bang for my buck.