fini

don't know how you will convince yourself...i spent decades working hard on convincing myself why i didn't need to quit. or, alternately, put a whole bunch of effort into trying to quit and stay that way only to be back at the store, buying the stuff a few days later.
woke up one day to the fact that i was a drunk. that i didn't have "a problem with alcohol", but that it was actually something about ME.
quit right then. was 51.
have just had my 7-year anniversary.
i joined a secular on-line recovery site (The LifeRing Home Page | Sobriety, Secularity, Self-Help) and connected and participated daily.
since i hadn't become extremely unhealthy yet (the rest of my life included steady work, healthy food, daily long walks with pooch, that forced"see, you're okay, fini, see, you're functioning fine and all that, see, fini, just a little issue here, see, fini, no sweat, will just take care of this little problem here.......ignoring the waking up at 2am, sweating, pounding heart, pleading with a god i didn't believe in to just let me make it to tomorrow and i'll never do it again...oh jaja, just a little problem here to take care of...)
but i digress. yes: blood pressure did drop within a month.

yes, exercise helps. the body and the state of mind. which is crucial.

keep going.

WantToDoThis

Thank you, Mel. I think your approach is excellent. Exercise is a big plus. I just need to get myself organized and motivated to do it on a regular basis. Yesterday, I made it one month sober. Yeah!

WantToDoThis

Thanks, fini, and congrats on 7 years. That's quite a good run, and it doesn't sound like you are going to stop. Thank's also for the link. I've only made it for a month, but my blood pressure is back to normal and I don't have to take medication. Hurrah! Need to work on state of mind. My alcohol voice seems stronger now than 2 weeks ago; not sure why. Maybe because I feel so healthy? I've made it to 6 weeks before and then always decide the break is over. This time, I don't want to do that, but it is a bit scary.

WantToDoThis

A big THANKS to everyone who has joined this thread. I'm going to go back to the beginning and reply to many of you, but have had my hands full the last couple days... in a good way It's really great to feel that I have company in this journey. Some of you are like me and still struggling to get it right. I feel companionship with you. Some of you have pretty much conquered your demons. I feel inspiration and hope from you. Looking forward to another day and another week, and I hope more without drinking.

Saskia

I'm almost 70 and still having some struggles. I've been sober almost 6 months this time since joining SR. I've had several lengthy "dry" spells (one about 15 years, the other about 11 years) and feel like I am the poster "child" (or grandma,lol) of why we can't go back to drinking.

I never missed work due to drinking, never had a DUI (because I never, ever drive when I've had even one). But that doesn't make me feel very smug! If I have a bottle of wine in my home, I can't just let it sit. I don't have any power over alcohol and it's scary sometimes how the AV still tries to trick me into thinking I can moderate.

I've had several health problems that were not caused by (according to the docs) but were seriously aggravated by alcohol. In two cases it's a minor miracle that they didn't kill me. One was a heart problem, the other cirrhosis and both are now much improved. As I'm very rapidly approaching 70, my thoughts are turning to the risks of dementia and that's very scary now. I know that alcohol affects brain function although I don't think it's really obvious until you get to my age.

I suspect that at different ages we have a different set of fears and attitudes toward the various risks.

Exercise helps, as does not isolating. I make it a point to do activities with friends. I no longer count on the AV disappearing entirely for all time. I know I must stay aware and take care of myself - nobody else can do it for me! Staying aware and alert for the AV does not, IMHO, mean we need to live in fear. Just maintaining a healthy skepticism about our automatic thoughts about any substance we can abuse is helpful.

I went to AA during a previous quit and Found it very helpful. I am an agnostic and am not enamored of AA's religious bent but even at the meetings I went to, we were told that if we didn't believe in a deity, to just substitute something else in the prayers.

So, I think age does change our perspectives, attitudes and motivations. But basic addiction is still addiction and can hit any of us.,

Thanks, WantTo, for starting this thread. It's a useful perspective for me!

catlover17

Is it ok if i sneak in too. I'm 43 and really feel like this has to be it now. I got away with it for so long but now i just feel and am starting to look like a boozer. So many years down the drain is not an excuse to put however many more down there. There are no more excuses, i've ran out. I'm spent.

Wish me luck x

Love to everyone x

TempeBrenn

Just turned 61. Quitting is hard for me. I seem to relapse every 2 months or so. From reading these posts, I know I can no longer relapse. My health depends on it. This forum has been helpful in showing me the way. And I see now, I am no different than anyone else here. My first approach was to REALLY believe I could moderate; like somehow it would be different for me. IT WASNT. So I quit, one day at a time. Just relapsed last night. Saw the trigger coming, but couldn't avoid it. Or didn't want to. Just knowing one's triggers isn't enough. I need to have contingency plans, no drinking for any reason.
Quitting after 60 is hard for some of us, especially if it had become a "routine". Glass of wine at the end of the day seems harmless until it turns into a bottle. As some one said, we need to quit because our bodies are not as forgiving as they once were.
Enough of my two cents.

tootsl1

Went to my GP a couple of years ago, laid on the table what I was drinking, and what I knew it was doing to my health. He told me I needed to decide whether I wanted to continue drinking, or live a longer healthier life. He also told me that nothing but will power could help me quit. I carried on a while longer until I realised I wanted to stop, I was tired of it all had. Had enough of drinking and everything that came with it. I quit 2 weeks into my 50th year, so will be 50 weeks sober on my 50th birthday.

Healthwise I feel better, I have lost weight and feel fitter. I am an active participant here on several threads so consequently have a more active social life, yes it's cyber, but still counts.
I see a future for myself and no longer fear or dread sobriety, instead I embrace it. My husband is quietly supportive, I haven't made a deal of it with anyone else.

It is nice to share with others my age group, but if also love spending time with the younger ones on the threads. Length of life gives me an understanding of what many are going through and it is nice to be an 'elder stateswoman' in our sober community. I don't like too much segregation, where will it lead?? Much as I appreciate that I may not want to discuss stress incontinence with a 20 year old lad, I don't want to close myself off to his potential input into my life and mine in his.

FBL

I quit drinking at age 43...if I hadn't stopped when I did, I probably wouldn't make it to 50! Everything about my life is SO much better now. Nearly 30 years of drinking left me a physical and emotional wreck, now I'm happy and healthy in both body and mind.

jazzfish

I was an expat for many years. I found the overseas meetings, especially in underdeveloped countries, to be much, much less formal than in the US. They were more like a very diverse group of people supporting each other in sobriety. If there are any, you may find them to be loose enough that you like them.

resolute50

I quit a couple weeks after turning 50 yo.
Back in 2007 I quit for 14 months and made the mistake of trying to drink in moderation.

Over the past couple years I had only had success at quiting for a month at the most.
I'm coming up to 3 month of sobriety soon. This time really feels different as I'm very much resolved in never going back to drinking again.

FeelingGreat

I quit in my mid-50s. It was either that or become one of those functioning people on the outside, but with my health and probably mind going downhill. If you accept that you have say 30 years ahead, do you want to be healthy, or at much higher risk of cognitive decline, obesity, cancer, depression you name it.
I sort of feel sorry for my old self, running to the bottle every night. I'm not saying life is perfect, it's not, but at least that worry's gone now.

LDT

I quit in my mid 50s..... As a result, People tell me I look like I'm in my mid 40s.....just sayin'.

SnoozyQ

I quit at 51 .. 3 months ago due to the health issues i was sustaining due to alcohol.
I was a binge drinker and i believe menopause exacerbated my drinking ...i really went off the rails ...couldn't get enough.

I am sad for the years i have lost with my children having a drunk mother , but if i allow myself to keep regurgitating those thoughts I will stay where I was.
I am proud to be moving forward and its bloody hard.

But hopefully out of something bad, good will come of it.

I hope to help others and enjoy the years i have left .

I've had enough of torturing myself . It amazes me how much i crave sugar. The huge downside for me since giving up is putting on weight due to sugar ugh .

Bloods due again soon and must go back for that glucose tolerance test.
Alcohol did nothing but damage me ...high blood pressure , fatty liver, fatty pancreas, now alcohol related diabetes and the onset of heart disease at 50 ! The only way to have any chance of reversing it is NO alcohol . Exercise , diet , etc ...but none of this is possible with my fatigue ... I would say my main symptom is exhaustion .

Geez i sound like a hypocondriac ..but I'm not
Xx

courage2

I quit 10 days before I turned 50 -- I'd been drinking for 36 years, most of it daily. I was done, that was all -- I hated drinking, and was physically dependent.

A variety of minor medical problems (like chronic stomach upset, high blood pressure) disappeared almost instantly. So did my depression.

I tried but couldn't stay off alcohol on my own so I started in AA. Still going, though I think of SR as my primary support.

I have a sister who quit in her 30s and I don't think I could have done that -- I wasn't fed up with booze and my drunken self at that point -- I thought I had it under control. Now I think I'm truly finished -- now I associate drinking with giving up on life, and (most of the time) I don't want to give up.

I've seen in my family how alcoholics die. Including suicide. We'll all die, but I don't want to die that way.

Wanttodothis: having been on both sides, sober and drunk, I know that everything's better sober.