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Been kind of a bad week.

Old 10-11-2013, 03:37 PM
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Been kind of a bad week.

This last week was pretty hard at work, had some really mean, grouchy coworkers... I've felt anxious and afraid of perceived health problems that I may or may not have. This morning I somehow choked on my morning tea, my throat closed for 10 seconds or so and I really thought that I was dead. That's never happened to me before, it was so rattling that I never got over it, I've been reluctant to eat or drink anything. I looked it up on the internet and of course it said that I have an array of chronic health problems, and that just made me feel worse, I should have known better than to try and look it up, all I wanted was reassurance that it just went down the wrong way...

I've been this way as long as I can remember, ever since I was a kid I've been in constant fear that I am suffering from some sort of disease or condition. Logically it makes no sense that I started using drugs and drinking, it was so short sighted, and now that the rides over, it's just more fuel for my irrational beliefs. "You drank and smoked, of course you're going to die young, congratulations..."

I've been seeing a therapist for a few weeks, but I don't have another appointment until the 27th. It just sucks to feel doomed and freak out over what happened this morning.
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Old 10-11-2013, 04:44 PM
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Sometimes just verbalizing and sharing our fears makes it feel better. I'm glad you posted.
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Old 10-11-2013, 05:19 PM
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I know that it's easy to get freaked out about possible medical conditions. I've been there too. Ironically, it's often that fear that pushes us towards drinking and drugs, which as you said, makes things worse.

I'm glad you have an appointment with a therapist. One thing that helps me is to remember that none of us know what tomorrow will bring. We really only have the moment we are in now. Focusing on that can really help. Have you read 'A New Earth' by Eckhart Tolle? It's gives a good plan for how to live in the moment and let go of everything else.
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Old 10-11-2013, 05:53 PM
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I've choked like that before on my coffee. It's scary cause it seems to last forever until you can breathe again.


I hope your therapist can help you get through some of these problems.
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Old 10-11-2013, 06:08 PM
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Hang in there. Have you looked into mindfulness meditation? I also found Elaine Aron's work on the highly sensitive personality to be helpful.
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Old 10-11-2013, 09:36 PM
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Originally Posted by Admiral View Post
I looked it up on the internet and of course it said that I have an array of chronic health problems, and that just made me feel worse, I should have known better than to try and look it up, all I wanted was reassurance that it just went down the wrong way...
Don't let Dr. Google scare you to death! Obviously it's concerning but don't panic too much til you see a real doctor. If you really are worried maybe drop by the ER to have 'em check you out. Probably won't be super expensive unless it's something real serious, in which case you'll really be glad you went!
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