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-   Newcomers to Recovery (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/)
-   -   AA not work for anybody else?? (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/310347-aa-not-work-anybody-else.html)

ronf 10-11-2013 07:38 PM


Originally Posted by Anna (Post 4233876)
Ryan, I have never used AA.

And the term 'bash' is simply the generic term we use in our rules.

We don't allow debate about recovery programs in this forum.

The Newcomers Forum is a safe and welcoming place for newcomers. Respect is essential. Debates over Recovery Methods are not allowed on the Newcomer's Forum. Posts that violate this rule will be removed without notice. (Support and experience only please.)

Anna, Thank you for your response.

Ron

Ryan8269 10-11-2013 07:53 PM

Thanks chef :). I have a few in my area I haven't tried, but I will... I know I need to....I was just simply trying to find some other options if other ppl have found success .... Like I said earlier, we are all in the same boat! And I'm glad I found a place to express my thoughts.... I meant no disrespect to AA....

Anna 10-11-2013 07:58 PM

And, I'm glad you joined us.

I think you will find lots of different ideas on recovery here, and I hope you continue to post.

pinkdog 10-11-2013 07:58 PM

Hi Ryan, welcome. Congratulations on your sobertime.

foolsgold66 10-11-2013 08:13 PM

Welcome to SR, Ryan.

I think I can say this without breaking any rules. To my knowledge those chips are not in any way core AA recovery principles. The word 'chip' is in the Big Book one time, and it refers to the book itself.

Many of us do dislike negative reinforcement, which is what you seem to be generally saying, but it can be useful. 'Tough Love' is not a scarce thing in this forum, for example, it does happen, and it can have positive results.

I'm not an active AA member, but my personal feeling is that if you do not have strong objections to what you read in the Big Book, you might take others suggestions to 'shop around' for other AA meetings that might be more beneficial for you. If that doesn't work, there are other methods to try.

Ryan8269 10-11-2013 08:19 PM

Thanks to this forum, and y'all, I just dumped out the last pint I had stored away next to my bed.....

ronf 10-11-2013 08:40 PM


Originally Posted by Ryan8269 (Post 4233984)
Thanks to this forum, and y'all, I just dumped out the last pint I had stored away next to my bed.....

WOW!! F-in MEOW! Ya gotta be an old Steve Martin fan to get that joke.
I'm normally up at all ab-normal hours. Feel free to PM me.

Your friend,

Ron

ronf 10-11-2013 08:43 PM


Originally Posted by ChefWolverine (Post 4233907)
My advice is to go to different meetings. I'm 9 away from my 90 in 90. Some meetings are good some are bad, and the steps and traditions are a suggested program of recovery. At first the old timers will give you tough love because they have literally seen thousands of people come and go throughout the years. If you stick around it gets better.

Wonderful!

ChloeB 10-11-2013 08:56 PM

the more I go and the more I see my AA friends...the better it gets..but that is the same way it is working for my marriage...I have lied for so long that each day I am sober and truthful by my actions..the better it is.. Good luck Ryan and definitely try another meeting or method!!

ACT10Npack 10-11-2013 09:23 PM

General no sit down and group meetings never work for me.

Freebird13 10-11-2013 09:43 PM

Besides AA, another thing that has worked for me is watching video documentaries or movies on alcoholism. Also, I read books from the library (autobiographies from celebrities who were alcoholics and recovered and how they did it).

rAAt 10-11-2013 10:26 PM

It takes a while to qualify for AA - who says alcoholics have no will power!

afloatsober 10-12-2013 02:55 AM

I kept going out also until i read 'having had a spiritual awakening AS A RESULT OF THESE STEPS'...
I had overlooked the steps bit.
It then became another way of doing it that is working for me on a daily basis.
Loads of other options available tho.
Good luck.
G

ExWinoMom 10-12-2013 03:09 AM

It works if you work it. It's about the program, not the people. God bless x

SparklingSeven 10-12-2013 03:41 AM

Hi Ryan,

I was in and out of AA for maybe 10 years and it just wasn't for me either.

To he fair I did learn a lot of stuff that has helped along with the info I've got on here. The thing that really opened my eyes to this condition and allowed me to accept that I truly had it was reading a little book: Under the Influence. A Guide to the Myths and Realities of Alcoholism by Katherine Ketcham. There are excerpts pinned on here to give you a flavour. Thoroughly recommended it!
Once I had accepted I was really an alcoholic then I could start work properly at getting well.

I only use this forum now to help me stay sober.

Zencat 10-12-2013 03:06 PM


Originally Posted by Ryan8269 (Post 4233897)
I was simy asking for suggestions on other programs or additional recovery advice.... Sorry if I broke your rules

Programs like:

digdug 10-12-2013 03:37 PM


Originally Posted by Ryan8269 (Post 4233786)
Thanks y'all.... I don't have a problem with the " higher power " aspect.... I am a Christian, I go to small groups and study the bible twice a week... But my issue with AA is that everytime you make 1 mistake ( missing a meeting 1 day, or not making coffee etc) they make you feel like **** and pick up another white chip... It's like making the kid who acts up in school wear a "Dunce" hat... And for me, that just adds guilt and keeps me out of the rooms! Can anyone relate??

I did however meet this guy recently who I was told to call from my therapist and he told me something I've never heard from aa.... He said "if you are going to choose recovery, the program you choose has to feel right to you, or it's not going to work". I thought that made a lot of sense.


Wait. Are you saying they make you get a 24-hour chip if you miss a meeting or skip a service commitment? I just want to be clear because 24 hour chips are for people who have 24 hours sober (or in my group, anyone counting days 1-29).

And for those who have the guts to go up and get a 24 hour chip because they are a newcomer or relapsed, we clap the loudest. Those are the bravest people in the room. It's a really big deal (in a good way) to get a white chip.

If I'm understanding you right, this is not a normal AA practice and I would find another meeting. Maybe AA isn't right for you, but it would also not be fair to judge the program on this one, ridiculous meeting.

Fandy 10-12-2013 03:54 PM


Originally Posted by Ryan8269 (Post 4233399)
Hey y'all I was just wondering if anybody else has any other ideas besides AA? I can't wrap my hands around the whole only way you get sober is to have a " spiritual experience ". I've tried it over and over and I keep going back out. Any books or websites or anything that anybody else found helpful??? Day 5 and looking for some ideas....

welcome to SR....
this is my main area of support, I've been sober 2+ years, I want to be sober and healthy.

there are lots of things you can do for yourself if you want to become sober, please take time to read through secular section.

However, you are going to find some responses here that insist you just haven't found the right AA group yet. and maybe that could be too.

at this point and since I decided in 2010 drinking was not going to help, the AA concept (too many rules, steps, powers that do not exist) did not ring true for me either.

Mizzuno 10-12-2013 05:12 PM

Hey there,
I do not attend AA. What I find to be really important is having support. Period. You can get it from this forum, from friends, and family. It is the support that I have received that has made a huge difference. I take tools from here and there and I apply them to my life. I feel very good about what I am doing. There are many roads to the same destination. Many members have posted all the other forms of Recovery that you can look into. Keep posting and keep reading. :)

happyhour 10-12-2013 06:40 PM


Originally Posted by Ryan8269 (Post 4233786)
I am a Christian, I go to small groups and study the bible twice a week

hi ryan,

how about Celebrate Recovery? which is a Christ centered recovery program.

you might find connection and value in that, probably a group mins. from you

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