Susan80

First of all – I apologise for moaning but this is the only place that I feel comfortable airing my feelings. . .
I have lost my motivation for doing “positive” things in my life and seriously just want to go and get drunk with friends. A few months ago, my local gym closed (where I went regularly) and consequently I joined a new gym but as it is much busier than the last, I have little motivation to go. As a result, I feel really down about myself and cannot seem to muster the motivation that I had previously. Furthermore, all my partner and I do is argue at the moment and I am finding this really stressful. . . so much so that I want to go out with my friends and drink and forget about things for a while. I know deep down this is not the answer, but I am finding it so hard to get back on track fitness-wise that it is so tempting just to go back to the binging. Has anyone else felt like this?

alphaomega

That's your AV (alcoholic voice) running the show. It's taken the driver seat over and decided you are powerless to over ride it.

Funny how we prefer to self sabotage, thinking its the easy and only way out, by systematically poisoning ourselves.

Kick that voice to the curb and got for a run.

You are the boss. You are in charge.

Fight for you.

ejackson

Yes, I feel like this, too. But I keep reminding myself that, while I've not been consistently sober for 17 years, the periods in which I drank the least were those when I exercised the most.

I'm committed to sobriety now and want to begin a fitness plan again. I found that gyms don't work well for me, for a variety of practical reasons. Perhaps it's time for you to look at alternative ways of exercising. To begin, can you just walk around your neighborhood or town? This is a relatively low-commitment way to exercise if you believe the thought of a full-fledged workout is just too much to take on right now. Don't put so much pressure on yourself to "work out" or be so regimented, because this can be a real turn-off when you're simply trying to find motivation.

Exercise and fitness don't have to be all-or-nothing situations, and a simple walk will be so much better for you in reducing stress than a night out drinking with friends. Lose yourself in some music or a good podcast while you walk.

Good luck!

Susan80

I suppose I want too much too soon. I have previously thrown myself into things while trying to give up alcohol, only to relapse!! I wish I could get rid of the negative voice that taunts me when I don't go to the gym or simply stay at home. I guess this is what they call the AV?

Oldselfagain

Alcohol is evil, poison,life-sucking, addictive, destructive, and deceptive. Have I missed anything?
No matter how appealing it may be in any situation, it always ends the same way - DESTRUCTIVE.
Don't let it fool you or romance you with any seemingly "good" reasons to drink. There are none. When tempted, resist with every bit of strength you have. You will feel better when the temptation abates.

JadeSatellite

I find relationship problems to be a huge trigger for me (as I found out last night!). I think that sometimes, if possible, removing yourself from the argument for a while is a good way to relax and recharge, and then come back to the conversation without so much anger and vitriol. And the exercise - make yourself go to the gym even though it is busy! Try to see it as being around people with the same motivation to be fit as you have!

cardoon

Patience is a virtue on this road. One technique to stop over thinking is to literally say,"stop".

doggonecarl

While getting to the gym is a wonderful, healthy pursuit, it is not a recovery program. So going to the gym...not going to the gym...the issue is your relationship with alcohol.

Drinkers find a reason to drink, until they figure out the reasons they don't have to.

Susan80

The reason I started to exercise is because I had/have depression. Only now am I realising that binge drinking twice or three times a week could well be the cause! Of course after a few days I feel fine, but be er "great."

JadeSatellite

You know what, I think that may be a cause for MY depression too. I started on anti-depressants and an anti-anxiety med one month ago, and they have definitely been working. It took a few weeks but I do feel a lot better than I did. I finally found the courage and strength to try and give up the drinking 5 days ago. I believe that is in large part due to the antidepressants working. I do not plan to be on them forever, but when you are overwhelmed with emotions that cause destructive behaviors, they can be a great tool in recovering your will power and life from alcohol.

WantToDoThis

While everyone knows alcohol is a depressant, it sure doesn't seem like it when you're drinking! Or when you want a drink! Even when I woke up the next morning, I didn't really feel depressed; I just felt ill. So, I found it hard to link depression and alcohol consumption despite what everyone told me and what I read. I've been on the wagon for over three weeks now--my third sobriety check in the last three years. While I haven't managed to go for more than 8 weeks, I can see now, as I did the past two times, that I have lots more energy when I don't drink and my outlook is better. What is difficult is that this process takes at least 2 or 3 weeks to get started for me. It doesn't start right after I quit (I'm too busy missing my drink). What I think I'm learning is that alcohol changes my body's chemical balance in a very fundamental and deep way, and it takes a few weeks for the my body to re-establish a chemical balance after I stop. Meanwhile, lots of thinks happen to my brain. I can't fall asleep easily; I get anxious and inpatient; I find I have more time than I know what to do with; I feel more like exercising (but haven't started yet!), and I start to have some good days. Anyway, my point is to give it time. Not sure how long you've stopped drinking, but if you can stop for a few months, I think you will be less depressed... and you will have a few good days

escapist

I have a problem with patience. Maybe that is part of addiction. I have been sober for a year now and I expected to be in better shape than I am. BUT I remember the shape I was in when I found this place last October and comparatively speaking I have come a very very long way. Patience.

Susan80

This time round (have fallen off time after time) I am only a few days sober. The longest I have been sober is 7 weeks. . . Ashamedly. The thing that is different for me this time is that I want my depression to lift and to hopefully reach a stage where I can get of my tablets. Plus, I want to feel better about myself. Like you, I find I have a lot energy and will have to channel it into something positive.

JadeSatellite

I don't think being sober for 7 weeks is ANYTHING to be ashamed of! I think that is something to be celebrated! I'd love to fast-forward to 7 weeks for myself and see what that feels like! I'm only on day 5!

Susan80

Were you a binge drinker like me? Do you fing weekends the most difficult?

Nuudawn

Hey Susan:
Are you currently taking an anti depressant? If so, is it an SSRI (is it addressing serotonin?). The nature of my work in weight loss has driven me to study brain chemistry rather passionately. I've been sober just over 4 months which is going well..but I have struggled with quitting cigarettes in my sobriety (I have relapsed twice). I have also suffered with extreme lethargy and lack of motivation. Not sure if you are aware, but dopamine deficiency is widely accepted as being a precursor to addiction. I have known for quite some time I am dopamine deficient (dopamine is incidentally stimulated by alcohol and nicotine).

Another thing I am starting to notice is what appears to be an increasing appearance of ADD symptoms. I had a counsellor assess me as ADD just prior to quitting drinking.

Anyhoo...the other day I realized that of course, my motivation and incentive has nosedived! I am no longer getting "dopamine hits"! I had a pretty much unopened bottle of L-tyrosine (a natural amino acid supplement that promotes dopamine production) kicking around...so I started googling. I had no idea that "dopamine deficiency" is also attributed to ADD! I did know that it is a factor in depression though.

There are only a couple of anti-depressants that address dopamine (one being wellbutrin)..pretty much all others address serotonin.

Exercise boosts dopamine (but we gotta find the darn motivation to get ourselves to the gym and that can require herculean effort when our motivation is in the gutter).

Is your sex drive also in the toilet?

I am no medical professional but I just thought it might be food for thought. If this resonates with you...maybe talk to your doc.

JadeSatellite

I binge drank WHENEVER I drank, lol... I also work 3rd shift Wednesday thru sunday 11pm - 7am, so the weekends aren't a problem, every day for me was a problem!

Susan80

Yeah, I could never just have a few. . . I had to get drunk. Not the best while on tablets!

JadeSatellite

same here - I told my doc that I was an alcoholic when they put me on the anti-depressants, and they suggested I taper off. I tried... I failed. I finally decided to quit 100% cold turkey 5 days ago. I had my appointment with my doc yesterday, told them I was 4 days sober, and the entire office applauded. I felt great. And, now I don't have to worry about the interactions between my meds and the alcohol

WantToDoThis

Nuudawn, I think you are definitely on the right track. There are a lot of things which affect our brains, and I've also thought that brain chemistry (e.g., lack of dopamine) may make some people more susceptible to alcoholism than others.

Susan, I just noticed you are in Luxembourg, where I think the dark, dreary weather months have started. At least they've started for me. Lot's of people suffer depression from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), which is effectively, a lack of sunlight. Treatment is pretty simple--a big 2000 watt light put in your face every morning for a about 30 minutes. I use it while I'm eating breakfast and reading stuff. It sounds crazy, but I think it helps.