SarahLanter

Hey, Lando45... I'm new here, just joined today and not yet sober. I've been drinking heavily on and off for a couple of years. I had a sober period from 2006 to 2010 thanks to AA. Right now, I can't face going back because of shame and guilt and I simply don't have the discipline to do anything but drink. But, in all honesty I hope to go back. It was one of the best things that ever happened to me. Some crazies to be sure (some real crazies) but all-in-all, the best group of people I've ever known.

I just hope in the next few weeks I can pull myself together enough to get active again. Funny thing is, I know in my heart they would welcome me back, drunk or sober, with open arms. It's my pride and guilt that keep me away. In the meantime, I'm working with as many other tools as I can... including SR & My Way Out.

IOAA2

AA for me has been my saver for + 30 years now. There are many different ways to stop drinking and for many like myself for years needed a lot of meetings for a "daily memory refresh" I strongly believe in flesh meetings with the people who understand us on a personal level with a hug or a warm handshake occasionally. listening and sharing in person for a lot of us has high value and there is an added something when shopping or walking about seeing a program person and the friendly HI exchange. A gathering at some ones house or a coffee shop adds to the helping, bonding experience. This is what I call being in the program as opposed to being around it. BE WELL

SarahLanter

I miss the emotional/physical intimacy I had with my AA friends, but I know that many people fear it. Also, as an old woman (71) those male/female relationships are not nearly as complicated.

DoubleDragons

I am newly sober (Day 12), but I am going to try this without AA. Personally, this forum is exactly my style. I have always been better at writing "my truths" than speaking them. As a very scheduled up mother of four, putting meetings into the mix would probably just add more stress to my life. I also like that the forum is always available to me whenever my cravings, or upsets or needing to share happen. I have done an incredible amount of reading about alcoholism and I have changed up my lifestyle. (eating more healthfully, exercising regularly, avoiding the "party scene" as much as I can, worked on my spiritual side etc.)

That being said, if this doesn't work, than I am certainly open to AA. I think like most things in life, this is a very personal journey we are all undertaking . . . .

SarahLanter

We'll share this journey. I totally understand why attending meetings on a regular basis would complicate your busy life. Each of us comes to recovery with huge similarities (just listen to our stories) but also with a different needs and priorities. Right now, I'm just trying to stay un-drunk with the hope that I can improve my chances one hour at a time. I'm sure I'll be chatting with some of you later.

SarahLanter

Well, that was weird. I'm at my son's house waiting for my grandson. I thought I would sneak a little drink before the family comes home. So, ice, Diet Sunkist into the glass, pour in about an oz of gin. I took a sip, then another, but I felt so sickened by it/and me I poured it out.

I am disgusted with myself.

DoubleDragons

The key thing here, Sarah, is that you poured it out . . . . work with that strength and know that you have it in you.

ronf

Lando45, not sure this will help you, but. Sarahlanter, after I went back out, and came back in, my reception was "Hey A-hole where the F ya been? "All us drunks are headed out for burgers, wanna come along" LOL. That wonderful, nasty male banter was like a hug from Mom.
I know the ladies express them selves a LITTLE kinder. The point is you WILL be welcomed back!
As I've said before, we're not JUST drunks, we're also human too.

Hope you both find the right path for your selves,

Ron

SarahLanter

I think you're talking coming back into AA, right? I know I would/will be welcome, just a little much for me right now.

Br00ksie

AA has been very helpful for me. I resisted going for years, trying to "fix myself" but have been to an AA meeting every day for the past 27 days (I think I skipped two days, and picked up on one of those days). It is a very helpful program for a great deal of people who are seeking support in recovery, but it isn't for everyone, and the program can be rigid and overwhelming for newcomers.

I think you should give a meeting a try, but go with an open heart and mind. If you do decide to go to a meeting,my ry to relate to the other attendees' FEELINGS about drinking/alcoholism rather than their stories, as many people in AA come from a lot of backgrounds which may differ from your own.


Ultimately, everyone in AA is there for the same reason (which is the same reason people join SR)- they want to get sober and realized that they can't do it alone.

Good luck!

SarahLanter

Also, listen for the similarities not the differences. You will hear your story, things you never knew you shared with another human being, over and over.

ronf

Sarahlanter, I'm 55, a very proud father of two daughters and a G'father to 5!. I'm going take the liberty of speaking to you as I would one of them. When will it not be a little much for you? C'mon, get over yer bad self. Love and hugs are waiting.

Ron

SarahLanter

Soon, I hope. Very soon.

croydonlad

I've been in and out of AA twice and both times came to the conclusion it wasn't for me but before, I wasn't completely honest with myself and deep down didn't really believe I needed to stop drinking - I was just going to please people who were concerned about me.

I recently reached a low I didn't think I could and realised my life with alcohol was pretty rubbish and now I want to stop drinking for me and me only. That is making it a lot easier for me not to drink at the moment but I'm doing it myself. I recently started with a counsellor which I have found really useful in the past but I am thinking of going back to AA despite my past experiences.

You'll get lots of different opinions and some people will tell you AA is the only way to stay sober whereas others will tell you it's not necessary.

However, what have you got to lose? Why not go along and give it a go? You might decide it's not for you BUT it may be exactly what you need. I say give it a go.

ronf

Very well written, thank you.

fini

it's carefully thought out, AO: 5 meetings daily Mon-Sat, and four on Sundays for a more relaxed pace

advbike

Some people benefit from AA and some don't. In addition to gaining support to remain sober, I think part of the benefit that is realized comes from working a 12-step program. Working the "steps" helps you to let go of resentments and regrets, as well as to see patterns of behavior that support your addiction. If you need that then by all means give it a shot. I have personally attended lots of AA meetings but am not going at this time. I find this forum provides the support I need, if not the benefits of step work, which I may need at some point to move further in my sobriety.