james872

Yesterday I went to the ER and since I was completely wasted they kept me overnight. The alcohol levels in my blood were very high. This morning I wanted to leave but they didn't let me since I still had to sober up more. So during this afternoon I left the hospital, fortunately without serious health consequences again.

That will go wrong one day though, if I keep this up.

Believe it or not, I walked straight through the store when I left the hospital. Got wine. Now I've been drinking again.

That is not good, needless to say.

So I needed a plan urgently to break the cycle and this is what I'm going to do:

Tomorrow I will go to my parents. Maybe for a couple of days, maybe a couple of weeks. I can't drink there, so there will be no drinking. I also need the company, I've been far too alone. I can talk to them about my problem, they know about it. And I can discuss further steps with them.

They already know about it all and we agreed that it is imperative that I take the next step directly after my visit. No going back home for a few day, immediate action.

I can't let this happen any longer and now it's time to act.

J.

P.S. I'll probably be bringing my laptop, so I can still log on here from tomorrow on. Maybe I'll even have a look through this place together with my parents. They know I find a lot of support here.

lessgravity

Why are you drinking again?

james872

I just couldn't handle it all anymore. It was the old escape from reality response I have.

hayley86

James, you can break the cycle starting now if you get rid of the alcohol and stop drinking. A person only gets so many warnings before something bad happens. Be safe.

lessgravity

But wait, you are drinking NOW am I right?

What you couldn't handle last night was being drunk, being wasted - it wasn't that you couldn't handle being sober. It was drinking, again, that put you through that horrible night. But I guess it seems you are interested in a repeat of that. Am I wrong?

Mentium

Reason doesn't apply. Addictive drinking doesn't know anything about reason.

Good luck James! I hope your parents place is a safe haven. Maybe a base to get into AA or something like that?

awuh1

These two statements would seem to be contradictory.

GO NOW

SkyeSea

James, I have to be honest, I'm a little miffed at you.
10 of us were trying to help you last night and one of us got 4 hours sleep as it was 4am in the UK by the time you went to ER.

What in the name of sheer HELL are you doing to yourself?

At least you're still posting, I guess...

Nuudawn

I sobered up in the now and I stay sober in the now.
You have to face this James. You have to stop drinking and face who you are and what life is. It's not that bad...it's all really quite wonderful if you allow it all in.
Stop being afraid of what you don't know.

Yes, we have to endure bad "moments" in sobriety..but they pass...we get through them..that's how we learn to live without alcohol as a coping mechanism.

You need support. Yes, you will find it here as I do. But there is face to face like AA. My therapist has been the driving force in my recovery. You need help sweet man. But you need to stop and face up to it all NOW.

jaynie04

James, I would be EXTREMELY vigilant about the space between now and when you get to your parents. I had a lapse between when I committed to going to rehab and when I went. I was warned by a number of professionals who deal with this daily, that many people often use that time between a commitment and action as a last hurrah. Please don't fool around with this, we are talking about life or death stuff.

ScottFromWI

You will find a way to drink at your parents to James. Addiction knows no boundaries. Honestly the ONLY thing that is going to stop you from drinking right now is supervised inpatient detox in my opinion. One of the suggestions was for you to speak with the social workers while you were in the hospital - i'm guessing that you didn't do that either since you didnt mention it at all, or it would surely have been part of their plan to get you into detox as well.

At this point there's really not much any of us can do here as you are pretty much ignoring it all anyway. Not to suggest you shouldn't continue posting, but it's to the point now where the only thing that is left to change is you.

One last thing I would recommend is that you let someone that knows where you live know that you are stuck in a cycle of chronic/potentially fatal alcohol abuse so they can check on your well-being.

james872

True and I feel miserable now that I have had a few drinks. I ditched the rest.

Before I started drinking I thought this time it would be different and it would relax me. I'm certainly not interested in a repeat, I just want peace.

james872

AA would certainly be one of the options.

james872

I wish I could. Can't drive now, obviously. I'm just going to go to bed in a moment to make sure that the rest of this evening doesn't turn into a disaster.

james872

I've asked myself that question. I'm ruining everything. I don't want to but here I am. Just wanting doesn't cut it. That's why I've made my new plan.

james872

I really won't be able to drink at my parent's place. I've tried that in the past, it's not going to happen.

Right now I'm going to bed and prevent any further damage between now and when I go to my parents.

wakko

Sorry to say but it sounds like you are not done drink yet. Hopefully you will find your way before it is to late

alphaomega

Goodness buddy, its got a hold of you but good right now. I have been there.

Remember you are not your addiction. You are more than that. It's driving the bus right now and you are letting it because you are struggling to string some good and healthy days together. I know you don't want to feel this way anymore. You just don't know how to get off the run away train.

But please believe us when we tell you, nothing will change in regards to your depression if you don't stop pouring a depressant down your gullet.

Its like throwing gasoline on a fire and wondering why its not going out and roaring even higher.

Alcohol is NOT GOING TO MAKE YOU PEACEFUL. It will backfire and rebound and send you further into the depths of hell than you already are.

We have to stop drinking. You just have to stop now.

You are driving on bald tires.

doggonecarl

Your parents are your parents; they shouldn't be a recovery option. That's what detox and rehab is for.

But if that's you plan you better get real recovery support, such as AA.

lessgravity

Get to bed man. Ride out the terrible urges and just stay the F in bed. I think Scott's advice is spot on - it sounds like your addiction will do whatever it takes to drink, parents or not.