Anyone up here
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Raider I sincerely hope you actually get yourself to rehab. This madness must end. I'm gonna offer up a guess here okay? I think you are procrastinating on the sobering up for you fear what life will look like sober...with a husband still drinking. And in your procrastination, well it is impossible to stay sober.
Sobriety is a commitment to yourself for yourself. If my guess resonates with you, well..you can't worry bout the future. There is no certainty outside your now. You have to take a leap and let the chips fall where they may. You have to get present. Sobriety is an adventure. It's hard work with great reward. I like being sober but it ain't easy. It takes perserverance..and guess what? You got that. We alcoholics can persevere like nobody's business. There is an "intelligence" behind addiction. By "intelligence" I mean that by its military definition "information and tactics collected to fight against the enemy". The enemy of addiction is sobriety. Your addiction is fighting for its life and its throwing up every bit of arsenal in its disposal. It will use anything...family medical issues...no ride to rehab...upcoming vacation...etc etc etc.
Do you want a sober life or do you just not want to drink so much?
Sobriety is a commitment to yourself for yourself. If my guess resonates with you, well..you can't worry bout the future. There is no certainty outside your now. You have to take a leap and let the chips fall where they may. You have to get present. Sobriety is an adventure. It's hard work with great reward. I like being sober but it ain't easy. It takes perserverance..and guess what? You got that. We alcoholics can persevere like nobody's business. There is an "intelligence" behind addiction. By "intelligence" I mean that by its military definition "information and tactics collected to fight against the enemy". The enemy of addiction is sobriety. Your addiction is fighting for its life and its throwing up every bit of arsenal in its disposal. It will use anything...family medical issues...no ride to rehab...upcoming vacation...etc etc etc.
Do you want a sober life or do you just not want to drink so much?
x x x
I could see peace instead of this
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada, eh
Posts: 2,360
Raider, you are the first person I remember when I first joined up here just over a month ago.
Remember:
Blind faith.
I didn't know my what my future with sobriety would be. Even it was to be boring and dull, I just trusted that it had to be better than how I was living. (or, rather, how I was dying.)
I can tell you that it turned out to be better far beyond what I could have imagined.
Just make that leap.
Remember:
Blind faith.
I didn't know my what my future with sobriety would be. Even it was to be boring and dull, I just trusted that it had to be better than how I was living. (or, rather, how I was dying.)
I can tell you that it turned out to be better far beyond what I could have imagined.
Just make that leap.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Raider,I think you should just concentrate on you for now and getting yourself sober.You can't control what your husband does, maybe just let him do his own thingand you concentrate your energies and resources on looking after you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: North salt lake
Posts: 3,325
Ok just spent an hour with the rehab people. They are checking with my insurance now. Everyone I have talked to there are alcoholics. Nicest people ever. The place is called Alcenas hospital in Kirkland, Washington. Bed date won't be a problem. Ok let you know...thanks everyone !
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,129
Pam,
When I started actively posting here, you and me had the same quit date. No matter what, we are Septembers! I think you are a lovely, lovely lady, I really do! When I think of my quit date, I think of you. You're still part of this, lady, and you deserve EVeRyTHinG good in life.
I wish you freedom from this mess, I wish you health, I wish you clarity, I wish you a nice long rest....I know you are very very scared to look at your life and marriage without the veil of alcohol. Just know it's your health and the way you think about drinking....those are the only things to focus on right now.
All the other messes and relationship stuff can wait, honestly. I know you love your husband so much, and you've told us that your marriage is not open for discussion. I hope saying something positive about your relationship is ok. Basically what I want to say is you getting sober doesn't mean you have to leave him. You're not choosing sobriety over him. If his drinking really really bothers you when you have a little healthy sober time under your belt, perhaps the path to recovery can be something you two do together, little by little. He might secretly be desperate to allow himself to be sober, but super scared, just like you. I'm sorry if I overstepped any boundaries with you, I was just getting the sense that maybe you thought you would have to immediately pick.
I'm going to be here holding our September quit date for us when you get back. I know you learned enough from that last quit to make it way too uncomfortable to have a 'fun and consequence-free' relapse, so that means that sober time was successful. It's not letting you party like before. You have a Sober Voice now that you cultivated in that sober time that is going to beat the ever-loving crap out of your Addictive Voice. I'm so happy to have front row tickets to this fight, I love betting on winners!
YOU GOT THIS, Pam!
xoxo,
Melina
When I started actively posting here, you and me had the same quit date. No matter what, we are Septembers! I think you are a lovely, lovely lady, I really do! When I think of my quit date, I think of you. You're still part of this, lady, and you deserve EVeRyTHinG good in life.
I wish you freedom from this mess, I wish you health, I wish you clarity, I wish you a nice long rest....I know you are very very scared to look at your life and marriage without the veil of alcohol. Just know it's your health and the way you think about drinking....those are the only things to focus on right now.
All the other messes and relationship stuff can wait, honestly. I know you love your husband so much, and you've told us that your marriage is not open for discussion. I hope saying something positive about your relationship is ok. Basically what I want to say is you getting sober doesn't mean you have to leave him. You're not choosing sobriety over him. If his drinking really really bothers you when you have a little healthy sober time under your belt, perhaps the path to recovery can be something you two do together, little by little. He might secretly be desperate to allow himself to be sober, but super scared, just like you. I'm sorry if I overstepped any boundaries with you, I was just getting the sense that maybe you thought you would have to immediately pick.
I'm going to be here holding our September quit date for us when you get back. I know you learned enough from that last quit to make it way too uncomfortable to have a 'fun and consequence-free' relapse, so that means that sober time was successful. It's not letting you party like before. You have a Sober Voice now that you cultivated in that sober time that is going to beat the ever-loving crap out of your Addictive Voice. I'm so happy to have front row tickets to this fight, I love betting on winners!
YOU GOT THIS, Pam!
xoxo,
Melina
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 109
Pam, Melina makes a lot of sense. Whatever happens between you and your husband, you know it's God's will. Turn this aspect of your life over to God and trust that the outcome will be in everyone's best interests.
((HUGS)))
((HUGS)))
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
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