Newly sober. This time I'm serious.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Spokane WA
Posts: 15
Newly sober. This time I'm serious.
Hi I was just looking for any type of feedback from anyone, I'm 20 years old feeling the guilt as well as embarassment of considering myself reliant on alcohol and not even being of age to consume. I started drinking at age 14 mainly just experimental but once I hit high school that's all me and my
Buddies would do any chance we got. Got into a lot of trouble with the law due to partying and I still do this day can't get my drivers liscense. Something tragic happened to two of my close friends about a year ago and that kind of just set me down, I barely graduated high school but I did, and
Have always worked through out high school and still maintain a job, but that and my school work currently have been declining due to alcohol. And
I feel so ashamed of myself. I seeked treatment once before
And was unsuccessful due to I thought I could control. Yesterday was my breaking point and I admitted myself to the hospital to get detox. They put me on Librium with I hate, and don't want to continue it I just want to seek counseling. Which I have already started on. But I wanted feedback on maybe some ways to keep my mind off it, and the fact that I'm a
College student makes it all the worse because it is everywhere. My family is supportive but I was wondering if anyone had some ideas for me. Thank you
Buddies would do any chance we got. Got into a lot of trouble with the law due to partying and I still do this day can't get my drivers liscense. Something tragic happened to two of my close friends about a year ago and that kind of just set me down, I barely graduated high school but I did, and
Have always worked through out high school and still maintain a job, but that and my school work currently have been declining due to alcohol. And
I feel so ashamed of myself. I seeked treatment once before
And was unsuccessful due to I thought I could control. Yesterday was my breaking point and I admitted myself to the hospital to get detox. They put me on Librium with I hate, and don't want to continue it I just want to seek counseling. Which I have already started on. But I wanted feedback on maybe some ways to keep my mind off it, and the fact that I'm a
College student makes it all the worse because it is everywhere. My family is supportive but I was wondering if anyone had some ideas for me. Thank you
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,308
Hi and welcome Brad,
you have made the first big step and admitted that alcohol is seriously affecting your life.
I found that talking to people who are going through recovery helps me a lot.
Support is a key to good recovery.
All the best
caihong
you have made the first big step and admitted that alcohol is seriously affecting your life.
I found that talking to people who are going through recovery helps me a lot.
Support is a key to good recovery.
All the best
caihong
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Southern U.S.
Posts: 1,030
Hi Brad, I'm so glad that you found SR. Good for you for taking steps toward change at such a young age! One thing that really helped me when I first started (and still does) is to read lots of posts in the newcomer's forum. Check out the 'October Class' thread to find others quitting this month too.
I could see peace instead of this
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada, eh
Posts: 2,360
Welcome to SR!
I first sobered up when I was 21, and although it might be more challenging when it seems like everyone you know is partying, it can be done. There really is life after drinking.
I agree with kadidee; read lots and educate yourself. Joining the monthly class was a huge help to me, too.
I first sobered up when I was 21, and although it might be more challenging when it seems like everyone you know is partying, it can be done. There really is life after drinking.
I agree with kadidee; read lots and educate yourself. Joining the monthly class was a huge help to me, too.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
Welcome Brad. How I wish I'd admitted I couldn't handle alcohol when I was 20. I knew it, but kept going with it until I trashed my life. Be proud of yourself for seeing what needs to be done & having the courage to change your destiny.
I agree that distracting yourself by being here should help. The more you read & post the less alone you'll feel. There are many young members here who are having the same challenge. I hope it helps you to be with us.
I agree that distracting yourself by being here should help. The more you read & post the less alone you'll feel. There are many young members here who are having the same challenge. I hope it helps you to be with us.
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Brad,
We all know. I liked drinking too when it was voluntary. Not at all when it became mandatory. I did the in hospital detox too but stayed. That week was pretty much painless. It was the next six months that were challenging as my body tried to heal and get by without a major chemical it was reliant on.
There is no fast and easy way. It is slow, hard, and requires total commitment to get stable in sobriety. But we all have proven it can be done.
Sounds like you want it to be all your way. That didn't work out for me either.
Good group here, all ages. Me, I'm old enough to be your grandfather. I only have three years of sobriety. Do you want to keep it up and grow up to be a drunk like me? I didn't plan it either. Funny thing life. I saw folks like me but I knew I'd never allow myself to stoop that low. Too bad I can't go back in time and shake some sense into the instant gratification know it all 20 year old I was. Someone my age now was crossed off by my young ignorant self as already having lived long enough and had a good long life.
If you live, and don't quit now for good you won't have to worry about being an old drunk. See, I didn't start to have a problem until my middle 30s, and not really bad until my fifties.
If you think it is embarrassing at 20, just keep on and see how it feels later in life.
It is time for us all, before we have run out of tomorrows to stop.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,551
Welcome Brad. The truth is that most of us have probably known we've had substance abuse issues from a young age. My problem was that i wasn't strong enough to do anything about it. Please don't feel ashamed, you are taking great strides!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Spokane WA
Posts: 15
Thank you all for the support. Today I feel okay. Went to all my classes and am not behind or anything but was afraid if I continued binging on weekends and missing school I would. The only main problem I have has been my sleep the past two nights. Not sure if I get any but have very lucid and odd dreams
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Hey Brad,
your story is similar to mine except I got thrown out of school at 15 for something I did when drunk, and I carried on a couple more years and was almost dead at 22.
On that journey I had my run ins with the law, lost all my friends and my job, was sleeping in parks at one stage. Did a stint in the laughing academy with a bunch of wet brains and alcoholics (ha! I was far too young to be one of them!) they tried me on some meds which I refused to take after I realised what they were doing to me.
While in the nut farm I had my first contact with AA. YUK! too old, missed the point of it. 10 of us left there and two went to AA and stayed sober. Two years later, I went to AA, having exhausted all other avenues, and recovered. By then the other 7 who did not go to AA were all dead. One in a fight, two in house fires, the odd car crash and overdose on other substances. None of us managed to stay drinking.
Like you Brad, my main feelings on coming to AA were guilt, shame and remorse. I didn't have much in the way of resentment, I felt it was me in the wrong. I always seemed to end up doing the wrong thing even though I didn't intend to.
One of the big reliefs was that I found out I was just normal for an alcoholic and the things I did which made me feel so ashamed, were just pretty run of the mill ordinary alcoholic stuff. I had a disease and AA offered the only effective means to
arrest it. Other methods failed completely for me. Sometimes the thought comes that other methods might have worked if I had acted sooner, but then I remember that I was in counselling for alcoholism when I was 15 and had only been drinking a short time. Again at 18 and 19, counselling and treatment, some of it imposed by the courts but nothing worked.
I suspect it was because I was looking for someone to fix me. That's the usual deal with hospitals isn't it? you go in sick and come out cured.
What I failed to appreciate is that alcoholics of my type need a complete change in the way we live. Treatment can give us a good start, but I had to find a way to exist in the world happily, without alcohol. That's what I found in AA, and a whole lot more.
your story is similar to mine except I got thrown out of school at 15 for something I did when drunk, and I carried on a couple more years and was almost dead at 22.
On that journey I had my run ins with the law, lost all my friends and my job, was sleeping in parks at one stage. Did a stint in the laughing academy with a bunch of wet brains and alcoholics (ha! I was far too young to be one of them!) they tried me on some meds which I refused to take after I realised what they were doing to me.
While in the nut farm I had my first contact with AA. YUK! too old, missed the point of it. 10 of us left there and two went to AA and stayed sober. Two years later, I went to AA, having exhausted all other avenues, and recovered. By then the other 7 who did not go to AA were all dead. One in a fight, two in house fires, the odd car crash and overdose on other substances. None of us managed to stay drinking.
Like you Brad, my main feelings on coming to AA were guilt, shame and remorse. I didn't have much in the way of resentment, I felt it was me in the wrong. I always seemed to end up doing the wrong thing even though I didn't intend to.
One of the big reliefs was that I found out I was just normal for an alcoholic and the things I did which made me feel so ashamed, were just pretty run of the mill ordinary alcoholic stuff. I had a disease and AA offered the only effective means to
arrest it. Other methods failed completely for me. Sometimes the thought comes that other methods might have worked if I had acted sooner, but then I remember that I was in counselling for alcoholism when I was 15 and had only been drinking a short time. Again at 18 and 19, counselling and treatment, some of it imposed by the courts but nothing worked.
I suspect it was because I was looking for someone to fix me. That's the usual deal with hospitals isn't it? you go in sick and come out cured.
What I failed to appreciate is that alcoholics of my type need a complete change in the way we live. Treatment can give us a good start, but I had to find a way to exist in the world happily, without alcohol. That's what I found in AA, and a whole lot more.
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Brad!
Thanks for letting me know you are hangin! The sleep and weird dreams are pretty normal. Digestive tract issues can also be normal but remember if anything gets scary see your doc asap! Don't drink to bail on withdrawal, you only have to do it all over again. Keep posting, keep reading.
Hang in there!
Thanks for letting me know you are hangin! The sleep and weird dreams are pretty normal. Digestive tract issues can also be normal but remember if anything gets scary see your doc asap! Don't drink to bail on withdrawal, you only have to do it all over again. Keep posting, keep reading.
Hang in there!
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