Toffee1

I am at day 26 and as per previous attempts at sobriety getting to this stage has been easy . I am glad to say I have had no problems. But now I am at my danger zone and I have to be especially vigilant. My AV is preparing to play his trump card!! His argument is that life is short, we are here to enjoy ourselves , to have a good time. In 50 years you are going to be dead and it won't really matter one way or another. A bottle of wine here or there won't hurt and will add to life's experiences.
This is an argument I have real problems getting over!! Any alternative thoughts anyone?

Mirage74

I think you have to ask yourself how much you were really enjoying yourself. I enjoyed myself for a few hours, but the next day I was hungover, full of regret, and miserable. It was a net lose situation.

I don't know how much you drank. If you only drank every once in a while and like to blow it out to enjoy yourself, it might not be a problem. Only you know if the nature and frequency of your drinking was problematic.

freshstart57

Life is short. How short do you want yours?

Dee74

My counter argument to that AV argument developed over my twenty years of drinking.

Drink and you lose you everything you hold dear.

Drink and you lose your loved ones, your self respect and the respect of those you admire.

you lose your health, your dignity and your joy, and any fun you once had becomes a bitter memory.

You drink to function, not to enjoy. I ended up hating drinking but couldn;t stop,

Finally, you start to lose your mind.

All this is not hyberbole or melodrama - it really happens.

It's inevitable, and relentless, and it happens years - or probably decades - before you actually die.

Life as a drunk - a serious drunk - is in a very real sense not short at all - it's incredibly mind numbingly tediously agonisingly TORTUROUSLY long.

Your AV sounds a lot like mine was back in the day....like a junior high school kid trying to philosophise about a life, and a death, it actually knows nothing about.

In recovery Life is actually very very short - I've lost a lot of good friends and people I love...& it happens more and more as we get older, alcoholic or not.

Life is short - don't waste it, man.

D

Mentium

Life *is* short. You can make it even shorter and something of a nightmare or you can extend it, hopefully, and appreciate it with fresh, alert and appreciative eyes!

MsJax

Toffee,

As I got sober I came to be extremely thankful just to be alive. I think it is such a gift to have an opportunity to live a good live. For me, to be a drunk and not live well is to disrespect this gift I have to live. So many people do not get this chance, this wake up, or their lives are cut short by other means, or they are ill & so on. I get one shot, one life. How do I want to be? It is a work in progress always but I know I don't have to die a drunk and I'm not going to.

A friend of mine just died at age 43 from alcoholism. Bad, bad thing. Just awful. Don't play with it.

doggonecarl

I agree with the others that state that life is short. To chose to spend it having a good time is a self-indulgent, hedonistic mindset. A spiritual awakening might lead you to a fulfilling use of this short stint on earth.

Best done sober!

mecanix

As a sober person i fit a lot more "real" living into my life than i ever did drunk .

I'm in two bands , a full time job , a full time carer , i rich enough to go to restaraunts when i like , buy the clothes i like , drive the car i want ( all spent on drink before) , i have the time to excersise , to date and to be a lover , to have real relationships with people and my family .

I attend to my meals and diet , taking care of this body .

I feel like i'm in the right place in the world , i'm calm and confident without being pushy .

Being drunk isn't "fun" i thought it was for a while but it is a delusion .

Life is short. That's why i want to be sober for it, so as to get as much saiety out of it as possible .

I think you can drink your fill of alcohol or drink your fill of life you cannot have both . I choose life

I hope you can come round to my way of thinking ,

bestwishes, m

Toffee1

I am so thankful for your replies. I feel so much more committed to this attempt at sobriety but I know my AV will not make it easy but with all your support I know I can learn how to control him.thanks again.

SavingSelf

This is an awesome thread. Much thanks to the original poster and the relplies.

SkyeSea

Reading about 'kindling' was enough to scare 7 bells out of me - no way do I want to go through another set of withdrawals x

wakko

That is exactly the argument that I use to stay sober. Sobriety gives me real and true happiness not the haze that alcohol brings on. Sobriety allows me to have real friends to enjoy playing with my grandson, to enjoy all of the gifts that God has so gracious given me.

For me I drank all the fun out of alcohol a long time ago and the fun I did have with artificial

WhitePawn

My brother died this spring at age 60 from squamous cell cancer that the doctors say was a direct result of his heavy drinking. He described it as "slow suicide" and it was very painful to watch--even though he quit drinking after his diagnoses. Most of the men in my fathers family live into their early eighties--so he shortened his life by 10 to 20 years. Furthermore quitting drinking after long term use will not shorten the risk of this type of caner in the same way quitting smoking does.
So live long with a good "quality of life" by staying sober.

Anna

For me, I countered that argument by asking myself how low did I want my self-esteem to go. None of us know when our lives will end, but I do want to live in peace with myself until that day.

ReadyAtLast

I've been ill the last 3 days,the first time I've felt really ill since I got sober. It made me realize how much I take my health for granted.

It also made me truly ashamed that I used to make myself ill, mentally and physically, internally and externally just by drinking.

Maybe ask yourself how ill do you want to be and how much do you want to shorten your life by. It will happen and you can make it happen much more quickly if you keep drinking

Correy

This thread made me reflect...

Not a single drinking man in my family lived to see 60; one of my friends died of cirrhosis when he was only 29; another had slit his throat when 32; yet another jumped under the train when 35; several friends (yeah, such was my circle) had died in their early 50's...

Yes, life of a drunk is short indeed... I can only hope I would not join them as a dying drunk myself.

Db1105

Yes, life is short, that's why I'm glad I sobered while still in my teens and have enjoyed over three decades of life without any arrest, trips to the nut house, overdoses, strangers in bed, strange locations, morning regrets, etc., etc., etc..

I've learned to appreciate every day and experience it without any intoxicants or chemicals to distort it. The longer I'm without them, the more I appreciate this short time on this side of the earth.

Toffee1

I cannot tell you what it means to me to have such support. I know I am in early stages if sobriety and I know it will probably get harder for me but I am sure I will look back on this thread in weeks to come and gain inspiration from it. Thanks