relapsed hard
 

I'm a 31 year old male. I've drank since high school, but its gotten bad over the past few years. Roughly 80% of a fifth of vodka every night. I detoxed once probably a year ago and it was rough. Didn't sleep a wink for days. When I did nod off I'd wake up with my foot or arm shaking and I'd freak out thinking I was having a seizure and jump out of bed. I fell back into drinking just like I had before. Recently I managed to make it 4 weeks sober. I felt great and was so proud of myself. Then I figured out I could drink a standalone night and the withdrawals wouldn't come back. That worked ok for about a week or two. Then last Saturday I decided to have a night. That turned into about a 9 day binge. The last 2 days I started drinking early too. So today was day one, and it seems like I've been withdrawing all day. The anxiety is awful. Treatment is not an option. I'm doing all the things I can to help. I took a B-complex vitamin and some magnesium and a couple of multi-vitamins. I went and worked out thinking it'd help with the anxiety. Came home and got a long hot shower. I made myself eat something healthy earlier. Drinking plenty of powerade. I'm at around 25-26 hours right now, so I'm hoping the threat of seizures is not so great anymore. I fully anticipate pacing through the house all night. I can't wait for morning to be here. I guess what I'm on here looking for is if maybe somebody has been in my situation, and can tell me what to expect. Like a couple of weeks ago I drank for 3 days, had one night of sleeplessness after that, and then I was fine. So if you've been a heavy daily drinker for a number of years and have detoxed multiple times, and then went on a 7 to 12 day or so binge, how'd you come out? If there's one good thing out of all this, I've gotten right with the lord. In case this goes horribly wrong, I want to be sure I get to see my daughter someday in heaven. Also, just so you know my current state. I'm very anxious, my eyes seem to be a little dilated, when I hold my hands out there's not really any shaking or trembling. I feel kinda shaky though. No headaches. Decent appetite I guess. Peeing more frequently than usual. Have gotten kind of sweaty at times. Earlier I felt a little sick to my stomach but I'm ok now. I think eating helped. I haven't seen or heard anything weird. I've noticed a few muscle twitches. And a kind of muscle anxiety to. It's hard to explain. Anyway, any responses are much appreciated. Wish me luck!

We aren't allowed to give medical advice here, southern.

I can tell you from my personal experience that I drank in a similar fashion to you and had a seizure not too long after the time point you are at right now. I can't over-dramatize the terror.

I think you should go to an ER immediately.

I hope you let us know how you're doing. Please be well.

I wasn't looking for medical advice, just someone experienced to give me some expectations. Did you have anything leading up to the seizure? Like warning signs I should be looking for?

Hi southern

I detoxed without apparent ill effect for years...and then the last time I had a series of mini strokes....

Not saying that will happen to you - just pointing out the unpredictability of withdrawal, even for those of us who have been at it for years.

None of us can give you any guarantees.

Best thing to do is seek professional advice.

D

I was pale, waxy, feeling hungover, feeling off....as usual. Then my hands curled into claws, my legs went numb and my jaw clenched. My body started contorting. I couldn't speak. When the seizure starts, it doesn't stop. There is no warning, it all happened in a matter of seconds. It got much worse from there.

I was driving a car at the time.

That was my seizure..everyone's body reacts differently.

If you think that learning about people's seizures will somehow help or prepare you, you are sorely sorely mistaken.

With much care and concern for your well-being, I'm urging you to go to the ER. Please.

I tried to prove to myself I could do stand-alone nights and then not for a couple of years. Did that "successfully" a couple of times, where I would drink heavy one night/day and then be able to not drink for a day or two without feeling too bad. But most of those stand-alone attempts became several day benders, usually 3 or 4 days long each, where even when conscious I was very intoxicated and never stopped drinking except when passed out. Coming out of those has become progressively worse for me over time. Horrible sweats, especially at night. Massive insomnia. Wasn't real steady but never really had the shakes, just general lack of coordination and motor control. Worst was the constant extreme anxiety and the feeling my skin was just crawling. I just couldn't be comfortable at all. Some of these withdrawal periods were several days. The last one when I was having a hard time with my own thoughts and with the symptoms I kept forcing myself to do something productive around the house. I drank LOTS of water, even when I wasn't thirsty. And I kept telling myself whatever happens, I CANNOT DRINK. The worst of it passed in about 3 days. This last weekend I sued the same approach about keeping busy and productive. Friday night and Saturday night were very hard, just because of what was going on in my head. Sunday things got better and I felt good about myself. Staying plugged in here, talking a couple/three times a day with my sponsor, and just doing what I know is to be another good thing has helped immensely. Today is day 8, I'm at home by myself, and while not quite content I'm sober and ok with that. The keeping busy isn't something I've tried before, and neither is the keeping in touch with a support system like this board. I finally, for the first time ever, feel like not only can I do this but that I will do this. And I love that feeling and confidence I've not had before. Someone at a meeting told that to have a different result this time I had to try doing different things, whether I wanted to do them or not. So far, its working and I feel good about it. Good thoughts, Southern, and good luck.

I had a lot of cramping, too, for days at a time. I would also urge you to get help from a medical professional. I wish I had but was too ashamed to ask for the help. I was very lucky nothing worse happened.

I tried many times to quit on my own and I could never make it past a couple of days due to anxiety and insomnia. Went to my doc this last time and she helped. Working on day 19 and feeling great.

Southern, I hope I didn't come off as too harsh by saying 'sorely sorely mistaken....'

I think I was too harsh and for that I apologize.

I don't want to scare you off, it's not my place.

I'm just honestly afraid for you, seizures are so dangerous. I don't want anyone to have to go through that.

Best,
Melina

That's fine, I appreciate your concern. If my wife found out what I've become though, she'd leave me. And I know I wouldn't get to see my little girl. And then I'd just rather be dead anyway. I'm still just here pacing around with my anxiety. I guess I'm around 27 hours. I'm hoping it doesn't get too serious since I haven't had any other weird symptoms.

Just try and keep doing what ur doing. If u experience real bad problems then its best u go to the doctors.

I wish that this doesnt last long for you and just remeber to keep on going, you will get to the end and the journey begins for u. excercise i found the first time i gave up helped with anxiety as it produced alot of endorphines and i felt good about myself. I have joined a gym this time, but i havent yet been but hoping to. Also best to keep drinking fluids to keep ur system flushed. Keep on the vits ur taking aswell.

Keep it up hun, your worth it xxx

Thanks guys. I'm still up at 2:50. Night time is impossible for me to sleep, i'm not sure if the dark makes the symptom possibilities scarier or what. Hoping when the sun starts coming up I can get a few minutes in before going to work. I'm still here though. Coming up on 30 hours. I wish the stats on seizures was a little more consistent. I read a study a doctor did earlier where most (70% or so) occurred in the first 24 hours. But everywhere I look they give different time frames. I wish I knew the study was accurate for a little piece of mind. Anybody know anything solid about that?

Seizures is a personal body thing. If u not drinking for past couple of days, it could mean ur less likely to get them, however, from what myself goes through it takes at least 2 days or more to withdraw, everyone is so diffrent in how alcohol effects there body.

Just keep doing what ur doing and if u have any problems is speak to a doctor. If u cant, is i said above keep doing what ur doing.

You will be fine, maybe its the anxiety of coming off which is a withdrawel in some and others have stoumach probs to headaches to shakes to sweating to all sorts. Just get advice if u can if not just keep going.

Southern, we are not allowed to give any medical advice.. However, we can share with you some links to the websites which have published reaserch papers on the very same subject, you are concerned with . Not to scare you but there is something called " Kindling effect " . Human brain chemistry is very complex and always strives towards the " principle of Survival " . However, the same principle acts as " Boomrang " when it comes to dealing with Alcohol withdrwal and detox . Without giving too much details, I will leave this website link of a PDF file , for you to read.. Please read it with open mind and please do not ignore the option of seeking proffesional medical advice.

Please click on this link. http://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publicatio...22-1/25-34.pdf

Yeah if this was just a one night, maybe even two, I'd be sleeping fine right now. It was more like 9 or 10 though. Still no bad stuff like hallucinations or anything, so I'm hoping for the best and that after a night of two of zero sleep I'll be able to be re-adjusted. And never be scared for my life like this again.

Southern I'm at day 9 and I'm still not sleeping. I think 2 hours last night. Most of the rest of it is better. My anxiety is still very much there but not horrible. I get what you say about just pacing. I couldn't do anything else many times. Keep hanging in there. Every minute you make it is another minute on your path to wellness you never have to endure again.

I'm struggling. Just went past the 48 hour mark. I thought I was getting much better a few hours ago, but now the anxiety is back with a vengeance. At the gym now. Trying to burn off a little energy and kill some time. I think I'm starting to see things here and there. Nothing specific, just kind flashes of light. It could have something to do with not sleeping at all for over 40 hours. I was hoping I'd be home free on seizures and all at this point but now I'm not so sure. Anybody got any insight for me?

This is why I went to a doc. Every time I tried to quit I would start drinking again because I hated the insomnia and anxiety. My doc gave me stuff to fight that and I have been fine ever since.

Hi southern, I'm glad you have made this decision to get sober but I really wish you'd talk to a medical professional. I wasn't planning to post on this thread but I really felt like I had to echo other posts urging you to not do this alone. Flashes of light are quite concerning and could be a warning that you are going to have a seizure at some point. And once you have a seizure, it could be too late. An AA friend was just telling me the other day about a friend of hers who died during detox, and this person was sober for at least a week. You are not out of the danger zone by any means. I don't want you to die! No one here wants you to die. Even if youre ok with the risk, you may have a seizure and not die but be permenantly brain damaged. Again, strongly urging you to get to an ER, and not to drive yourself.
Sorry if this comes across as harsh, and I know it's not really what you were asking for, but alcohol detox is serious stuff and I don't want anything and to happen to you.
Good luck to you, and please keep posting no matter what you decide to do.
Praying for you.

I really appreciate your thoughts and you made me think about it. But my wife just wouldn't understand and itd rip my family apart. I'm hoping to just pace through the night and see that sun come up. If things start getting worse ill probably go wake her up. I just think risking it is my best play right now. I'm praying a lot and trying to talk God into having mercy on me. Anyone that has a second to pray for my safety I would greatly appreciate it. If I don't post again for a while, things went bad.