Big decisions in first year of sobriety
 

What do you all think of making big life decisions in the first year. I am thinking career changes, geographics, not really relationship stuff. Should the first year be a "no big change" year?:tyou

I think the reason behind the suggestion is to try and avoid unnecessary stress.

Obviously sometimes changes happen involuntarily - there's not a lot we can do about that, but as stress seems to be a big trigger for you Ach, I think I'd recommend you try and avoid any unnecessary changes until you feel strong enough to handle them.

D

I did not think of the stress part.

I think some changes would help me, personally. Anything to change up the old routine I've found myself in. I have a new job, I'm exercising more, I'm trying to change things so it feels like a new beginning.

I do agree with Dee about the avoiding unnecessary stress.

I changed jobs while in early sobriety and it was a lot harder than I ever imagined it would be. I still live in the same place and work for the same company, just a new location, new people and completely new job role with learning curve.

I must admit it was harder than I expected and I had some very depressing days, I'm finally getting settled in after 4 months there but still not as comfy as I'd like.

I think sobriety brings about enough change in and of itself. Ach and Jade I have followed both of your journeys. I was surprised that when I stopped drinking things became clearer. Not necessarily better overnight, but I wasn't bouncing around in my life like clothes in a dryer.

Hi Ache, I don't recommend doing it over night. If you think you want to move, then that should take some planning on your part. Are you thinking of transferring to another grad school? When do you get out anyway?

A year may not be required, but if I were you Ach, I'd give it more than the sober time your currently have. I've learned from experience that the grass is rarely greener on the other side. And it's sometimes better to just work to make my current lawn greener.

Do give yourself more sober time. As you are sober longer your thinking becomes clearer. Early sobriety is an emotional roller coaster, best not to lean too far over the side of the car.

I will plan graduating in may and looking for a teaching job, but I am scared I will end up unemployed living with my dad, so I want to apply to law school this december because I do not really like teaching. I just began teaching this year and I have been talking with my counselor about how unhappy it makes me and living below the poverty line is hard.

Just throwing it out there... finish up your current Master of Education program. You will be through in 7 months. You are pretty much done with this semester. Don't walk away for your last semester. You are too close now.

Law School is a great idea. Though, I think you are a bit late to get into a program beginning in January (if that is what you are thinking).

Don't view your Master in Education as "This is what I will be doing for the rest of my life". Try to view it as "This is what I am doing now". Who knows where that degree will take you down the road. You do not have to be a Teacher.

Yea the law school would start next fall, and I would be 31 when I finish. I applied before but did not go because I did not want to lose mu gf, but she left my drunk butt. Cooking dinner and trying to prepare for tomorrow. I feel so unmotivated, I feel so happy just being sober.

Lawyer was my backup career. Most lawyer work is astonishingly boring, it ain't a bit like TV.

I have been in law offices before for internship type things. It appeals to me in light of my recent teaching experience, I just do not want to teach, and now I know that. But I am thinking my drunk thinking got me in the place I am in, and sober thinking will get me to a place I want to be.

I Don't Need answers, but these are some questions you may want to sit and answer to yourself.

"I am thinking career changes, geographics, not really relationship stuff."
Geographical cures don't often work, wherever I go, there I am....career changes means you first must be employed in a field.....and everything is a "relationship stuff" thing as I must be able to have some type of working relationship with myself, my boss, my colleagues and others (students, customers, etc)

"I am scared I will end up unemployed living with my dad"
What are you doing now? Who's paying your bills now?

Are you employed now (working and bringing in income)?

Are you just trying to avoid attempting to obtain employment by continuing on as a student? What will an employer look at when they see your degree with no experience (follow through) and then changing to another area of expertise? Are you seeking employment in the field of law so you can gain experience while you seek a law degree?

What's your real motive for not moving forward with your teaching career, which will give you money and experience which you can use to further your educational and employment endeavors?

"I feel so unmotivated, I feel so happy just being sober."
Hmmm. Sounds a bit contradictory here. Are you really happy? Are you just happy you aren't drinking, but there is something else going on with you? What method of recovery are you working in your life?

Have you done anything for fun for you lately? Gone to a play, gone out bowling, doing something you like to do???

Keep staying stopped and enjoy the ride!!
I wish you well,
~SB

I work as a teacher now and I have an income. I have worked the previous two years in service jobs, hotels and restaurants.

Are you good at teaching? How long have you been doing it?

I have been working on school stuff and then trying to have me time to exercise and cook, so no I have not done "fun" stuff. I did have frozen yogurt though which was nice. AA and SR, counseling and psych meds are my recovery plan, also exercise and reading addiction books.

As someone who went through law school, I really think it is no place for someone in their first year of sobriety. The stress alone will eat you alive.

If I stay on the road I am on by the time I start I will be almost a year