LiveLikeGold6

Tomorrow is my 69th day sober. I have no true friends to speak of and I find it hard to make new friends. And as much as I tell myself its fine like this I feel deep down that having a tight knit community of sober people will be extremely beneficial. The only way I really see this happening is through AA. I don't like all the rules or "suggestions" though. I don't want gung-ho people giving me advice anymore. I have found a peace in doing sobriety on my own for the most part, but I simply want sober friends and sober dating prospects. They say AA isn't a social club so maybe I shouldn't go for this purpose.

hypochondriac

I don't see the harm in going to AA for the fellowship alone... Don't forget there are other groups like SMART, Women for Sobriety, life ring etc... Really none of these are social groups but they have that as a added benefit. You will no doubt learn things that will help you stay sober too.

You could get involved in other activities too, like a book club, and evening class, a church, exercise classes. gym... for me I have met a ton of people out walking my dog

least

Volunteering someplace can be a good way to meet new people while doing good for your community at the same time.

wakko

AA is a great place to meet sober people. The only rule for AA membership is that you feel you have a problem with alcohol.

lastcallsunday

I know exactly how you feel. Spending most of my adult life gravitating towards people who drink like I do means that I don't really have much of a network to not drink with. I figure I spent 20 years drinking and accumulating my boozing friends, realistically its going to take more than a month or two to build up a sober network.

The one thing you may be surprised by is some of your drinking buddies may be almost fed up with their lifestyle too and might start following your lead.
Tough but worth it!

lastcallsunday

I shouldn't use the term I know exactly how you feel since that's impossible. I meant around not having a core group of non drinking friends only. Very poor choice of words!

SkyeSea

Thanks for posting this Livelikegold - it's been something I've been wondering about too.

Some great suggestions

Twofish

I like the book club idea,no requirements there as far as drinking, except to read the book. The YMCA is fun,walking groups, reconnecting with family,take a class or learn a hobby. There's always church. If your worried about judgmental people,let that go, it's their problem. Have you any young children? Volunteering was so rewarding to me...adding a bit of knowledge to young minds ,tutoring special needs kids...those are a few things that come to mind. Hope that helps you with your quest. Please don't feel alone in this, I'm sober from alcohol, always have been, but I find myself extremely lonely, looking for friends, searching for something that is missing in my life that I just can't put my finger on...something that judgmental people, who talk about my AD's like they are the devil and im the devils mother are not involved in, I can't hide forever,..good luck again, and I'm sorry this turned into my sad life, maybe it just needed to come out, to help other moms like me?...TF

LadyBlue0527

Although I am doing the steps I also have participated in AA to create and broaden my network of people who are sober.

I don't know where you are but you should be able to locate a recovery center in your area that isn't specifically AA related if you don't want to go that route. I know that here we have one and they do hold meetings but they don't require that you participate in AA. In fact, they have Friday game nights and open mic nights also. There must be something in your area that has fellowship.

digdug

I'll let you in on a little secret of mine.

I go to meetings almost every day. 90% of the time, it's just to see my friends, shoot the sh*t and go do something after.

I have a sponsor, work the steps and do service commitments. I have no desire to drink. So even though I usually get something out of the meetings, I was not in the position that I was in when I first got sober where I needed meetings just to get me through the day.

It's ok to go to meetings just to meet people as long as you have a desire to stop drinking.

The friends I've made in AA are some of the best relationships I've ever had in my life. I don't have to put on a mask. I can be myself. They have my back and I have theirs.

Ptcapote

What digdug said.

I never thought some of the closest friends I would have in my life would come from AA but there you have it. I also have friends now that are friends of my AA friends that are not in the program but just happen to not drink or drink very little (never around us, though).

Thing is you have to start somewhere and, at least for me, I was so terrified in very early sobriety of temptations it was either put myself around people who were totally abstinent or lock myself in my house. The second option would have likely led me to drink so I chose the first.

I would imagine other recovery groups are the same.

Best wishes to you and thanks for the post!

Anna

I think volunteering is always a good way to meet new people and to give back.

I like the Book Club idea, too.

LiveLikeGold6

You guys freaking rock!

LastcallSunday those were an excellent choice of words cuz they made me feel better

Digdug, thanks so much for sharing that!! "I don't have to put on a mask. I can be myself." That is exactly what I seek, not constantly explaining why I don't drink, not even one day!

Ptcapote, This sentence is meee!!

"I was so terrified in very early sobriety of temptations it was either put myself around people who were totally abstinent or lock myself in my house."

You guys have given me great ideas and a renewed optimistic outlook.

I shall try:

AA meetings
Mommy and me group with my 1 year old
Volunteering
Run/Walk groups
Maybe book club with easy books lol