OF alcoholics lol it exists

not sure what you mean?

D

Me either D - I can't seem to stop this cycle! And I have to and I'm scared - I'm scared now because I thought I was doing good. I was :) the only other time I'd managed to stay sober that long was while pregnant - and it was only 'because'

What cycle are you in?

If you mean the drinking cycle the only way I know to stop that is to reach out and get help - actively change the situation so it's not the same.

Call in reinforcements, make changes to your life.

When we really want to be sober, I reckon nothing should really be too big an ask.

D

Emily, you can beat this hun - you're stronger than you think :)
I'll try and catch up with you in the morning x x

Take action to stop drinking. Can you ask your doctor for help in getting thru detox and then some aftercare program? You need to make some big changes to stop the cycle of destruction. You can do this! :hug:

I don't know if ill be allowed to detox again - I need to because I can't do it myself. I can't handle the anxiety etc

Expose it
 

Hi, I have long been in a cycle of good, bad, good, bad. It seems the only way to leap out of it is to expose the bad - shine a bright light on the crap and seek truth!

When I had a solid year of happy sobriety, everyday I would visualize my drunk booze brain in the center of a beautiful sunny meadow, surrounded by my friends and family...and me. We all just gazed at this selfish creature, and I was separated from it.

Rational Recovery at its best (at least for me). Working to get back to that.

In Friday I have a mental health appointment where I can say openly and honestly what's breaking my heart - I can be truthful lol I'm in a foreign country I've no personal family here - I've friends who wish me well but I've nobody I can be honest with - I'm hurting yeyyyyyy lol I just act like a drunk while I try to get help

Emily - I know how you feel in that I'm also not living in my home country, but am making plans to go visit and hopefully before too much longer, move back home.
Can you not make plans to go home for a visit? Maybe spend Christmas there? :)

I hope that you take the step to get out of the cycle you are in.

So do I / I'm at my end Anna