The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly
 

Good: After a long search I found the perfect job. I came in at the right time. They had one position left, and it was the one I wanted. I was hired right on the spot.

Bad: After 4 days of not drinking, all the physical withdrawal symptoms are gone, except one. My hands shake. Yesterday I tried to fill out an application and couldn't do it. My handwriting looks like a child. To even be legible I had to write VERY slow.

Ugly: I knew I had to fill out an application there, and if hired a bunch of paper work. I knew they would look it over. I drank two beers before I left.

This morning I sat for almost an hour writing on a piece of paper random things and nothing was legible. I was about to go to this interview and I panicked and bought two beers. I chugged them, and 5 minutes later my handwriting was perfect. The owner of the company sat next to me as I filled out forms. I just pounded them out like nothing.

I feel so stupid right now. I had to drink to make sure they didn't notice my shaky hands and poor handwriting. At the same time I'm elated about my new job. Assistant kitchen manager. 2x the pay of my last job. Free full health benefits. It's exactly what I wanted. But I also wanted to stay sober and I screwed that up. On the way back the idea popped into my head that I should buy some beer to celebrate, but the shame of giving up a goal hit me. Sigh...

This sounds like a common symptom of PAWS, post acute withdrawal syndrome. For most people it gets better with time. drinking again is not the answer, only prolongs everything.

Anyway you can use voice to text or typing to take care of this for now?

Could use coming off meds as an explanation if one is required.

Hi Ncognito... Don't beat yourself up. You did what you felt like you had to do in order to secure a better professional and financial life yourself. Now since you have the job, don't drink. Don't go back. It is not worth it to you in the long term. Make this new job part of your new sober life! And, stay close to SR!

You know what I read in all of that? You didn't stop and get beer on the way home. Good! What's done is done and you have a great job now as even more added inspiration to stay sober.

The shaky hands thing will get better with time. Just stay away from the alcohol like Threshold said. It just messes with the healing cycle.

That's the thing. I don't want to drink. I know how I was before. An isolated drunk that only left to get more beer. I only did it because I needed this job.

That was me. An isolated drunk that only left my home to get more wine. Yuck!! What a horrible existence! I will never allow myself to go back to that.

That was me. An isolated drunk that only left my home to get more wine. Yuck!! What a horrible existence! I will never allow myself to go back to that.

Congrats on the new job! At least that's one career where few people judge alcoholics. Stick to sobriety, see a doctor if necessary for the PAWS. I work in a kitchen, too; it's amazing how easy the job got for me when I got sober!

Concrats with the new job and well done not to "celebrate" with drinking.

What was told to me was: forgive yourself, learn from it, and move forward again. :hug:


Congrats on the new job.:)

Don't beat yourself up. It's done, and it sounds like your drinking is too. Enjoy your new job and pay and rock the sober life.congratulations.

Thanks everyone. The job doesn't start for two weeks. Two weeks to stay sober and go in there and show them I deserve the job.

Congrats on the new job.

If the shakes are really bad - job impacting bad - can you see a Dr ncog?

Especially in the case of withdrawal symptoms, drinking is a short term solution that actually adds to the long term problem.

D