DagnyTaggart

So, I drank last night, the obsession was just too much. I don't view today as "Day One" because I have learned quite a lot about myself and addiction over the past 10 days. I am not a bad person; I am human and I won't give up on myself.

The funny thing is, it wasn't all that much fun. Nothing bad happened but it just left me flat. I keep repeating the words "You never have to drink again" to myself. In some way, that is the ONLY thing I can control in life.

I will go to counseling on Monday morning and continue doing the work to recover. I went to a women's AA meeting last week and it was comforting and not at all intimidating. I will go again this week and take down a few more numbers. Keep an open mind.

Ghostlight1

Keep at it. I had many attempts, and failures, before I finaly got some sober time.
Try and keep in your mind how you felt last night and today. It's not worth it, believe me to pick up that first drink.

Glad you're going to the meeting and best to you.

least

I hope the counseling will be of help to you.

seahorse661

don't dwell on it; try to learn from it.

I can't even count how many times I did that. The important thing is what you do from now on.

lommey

pick yourself up dust yourself off. todays a new day

mirage

Hi Dagny..I think part of that "it just left me flat" is that once we realize we have a problem and we know we want to stop, we can't "un-know" that. It makes it a lot less fun when you realize it has more control over you, than you do, it. I remember when I had 4 mos sober, I went out to a bar and drank. I got home and cried and cried, saying "I'm not doing this..I'm not starting again..I don't want to go back there". Good times, eh? It just wasn't fun anymore. I knew I had a problem, drinking wasn't a good time it was a disappointment. Anyway..keep at it, and good luck!!

happyhour

dagny, sorry. we do slip, that's unfortunately part of the process for too many of us.

it will be helpful though to learn, what happened? what triggered you? what situation were you in? what thoughts were you thinking? what could you have done differently? how will you respond next time that thought/event/trigger occurs? who can you call/chat? you don't have to answer, but you have to be ready for next time, because there will be a next time

this way, you actually get something out of it, other than a headache

Dee74

Welcome back Dagny
have you heard of urge surfing at all? It was useful for me to try and detach myself from that relentless obsession:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html

D