Another lie...another day...Day 1...again..
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Probably my living room. Maybe my bedroom if I'm feeling lazy
Posts: 1,085
Amy - if you end up reading this, I really hope you are getting the help you need (medical detox, inpatient rehab, etc.)
To the mother - I completely understand the pain you have been feeling. I tore the my family apart with the lies and manipulation. But that was my disease pushing me to any length possible keep using. This is not an excuse or a cop out. It simply is the nature of the beast.
I personally am no victim of anyone in their active addiction. Trust me, I can see right through it after so many years of practice.
Finally, you are doing the right thing by backing off. Her recovery is her responsibility. No need to enable her. She has to do this herself.
I feel like I just wrote a post that none of the intended parties will read, but whatever. I'm off to a meeting.
To the mother - I completely understand the pain you have been feeling. I tore the my family apart with the lies and manipulation. But that was my disease pushing me to any length possible keep using. This is not an excuse or a cop out. It simply is the nature of the beast.
I personally am no victim of anyone in their active addiction. Trust me, I can see right through it after so many years of practice.
Finally, you are doing the right thing by backing off. Her recovery is her responsibility. No need to enable her. She has to do this herself.
I feel like I just wrote a post that none of the intended parties will read, but whatever. I'm off to a meeting.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 217
Originally Posted by digdug 
Amy - if you end up reading this, I really hope you are getting the help you need (medical detox, inpatient rehab, etc.)
To the mother - I completely understand the pain you have been feeling. I tore the my family apart with the lies and manipulation. But that was my disease pushing me to any length possible keep using. This is not an excuse or a cop out. It simply is the nature of the beast.
I personally am no victim of anyone in their active addiction. Trust me, I can see right through it after so many years of practice.
Finally, you are doing the right thing by backing off. Her recovery is her responsibility. No need to enable her. She has to do this herself.
I feel like I just wrote a post that none of the intended parties will read, but whatever. I'm off to a meeting.
To the mother - I completely understand the pain you have been feeling. I tore the my family apart with the lies and manipulation. But that was my disease pushing me to any length possible keep using. This is not an excuse or a cop out. It simply is the nature of the beast.
I personally am no victim of anyone in their active addiction. Trust me, I can see right through it after so many years of practice.
Finally, you are doing the right thing by backing off. Her recovery is her responsibility. No need to enable her. She has to do this herself.
I feel like I just wrote a post that none of the intended parties will read, but whatever. I'm off to a meeting.
Faith and reason
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: London
Posts: 941
Amy, I can relate to feeling like I'm not where I should be. I'm an Oxford graduate, yet at 31 I'm unemployed and living in a bedsit without carpet, a fridge or an oven because I spent the past decade drinking alcoholically. I'm now rebuilding my life but I had to get sober before I could start. Once you stop drinking it'll be so much easier to do now what, in your words, you should have done when you were younger.
And I also get anxious about losing the few opportunities I do have by focusing on recovery instead. But I put sobriety first anyway because I know that if I don't, I'll drink again and will lose all those other things anyway. This is my third serious go at getting sober and I'm 90 days sober today. It's by far the longest amount of time I've been able to put together and the difference this time is that I a) surrendered and let people help me and b) prioritized recovery.
And I also get anxious about losing the few opportunities I do have by focusing on recovery instead. But I put sobriety first anyway because I know that if I don't, I'll drink again and will lose all those other things anyway. This is my third serious go at getting sober and I'm 90 days sober today. It's by far the longest amount of time I've been able to put together and the difference this time is that I a) surrendered and let people help me and b) prioritized recovery.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 217
Originally Posted by Louise82
Amy, I can relate to feeling like I'm not where I should be. I'm an Oxford graduate, yet at 31 I'm unemployed and living in a bedsit without carpet, a fridge or an oven because I spent the past decade drinking alcoholically. I'm now rebuilding my life but I had to get sober before I could start. Once you stop drinking it'll be so much easier to do now what, in your words, you should have done when you were younger.
And I also get anxious about losing the few opportunities I do have by focusing on recovery instead. But I put sobriety first anyway because I know that if I don't, I'll drink again and will lose all those other things anyway. This is my third serious go at getting sober and I'm 90 days sober today. It's by far the longest amount of time I've been able to put together and the difference this time is that I a) surrendered and let people help me and b) prioritized recovery.
And I also get anxious about losing the few opportunities I do have by focusing on recovery instead. But I put sobriety first anyway because I know that if I don't, I'll drink again and will lose all those other things anyway. This is my third serious go at getting sober and I'm 90 days sober today. It's by far the longest amount of time I've been able to put together and the difference this time is that I a) surrendered and let people help me and b) prioritized recovery.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 217
Call came!! Prairie St. Johns, don't know a lot about their reputation, but by therapist does work there and I called the urgent hotline as well. I am able to start outpatient therapy Monday! I talked to my boss and she thinks I am still in the hospital, everyone is pulling my weight but I don't work until Thursday so quite sure my withdraw symptoms will be better. School I am just going to have to catch up if able, right now rehab is most important. My mom want's a year from me (I hurt her very bad with my last lie, she is too old to keep dealing with my crap) I don't blame her. I just wanted to give a positive update, I have one day and will be getting help, as always Thank you for EVERYTHING!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 217
Originally Posted by digdug
Do you think you're going to need a medical detox? Outpatient therapy doesn't usually offer that.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Daytona Beach, FL
Posts: 425
Just take it easy MN - it's not the end of the world; but if you keep going it will be. I'm 41 and just basically had to restart my life over, so I'm living proof it CAN be done!! 
Take care of you - love yourself enough to think you deserve and are worth getting better.
Take care of you - love yourself enough to think you deserve and are worth getting better.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 217
Originally Posted by JaylaaKent
Just take it easy MN - it's not the end of the world; but if you keep going it will be. I'm 41 and just basically had to restart my life over, so I'm living proof it CAN be done!!
Take care of you - love yourself enough to think you deserve and are worth getting better.
Take care of you - love yourself enough to think you deserve and are worth getting better.
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