Notices

Final Post

Old 10-03-2013, 09:18 PM
  # 41 (permalink)  
Choosing Life
 
desertsong's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Montana
Posts: 1,435
August, I haven't been on here for awhile, but I remember you. Please don't give up. I am 9 months sober now, and this is after kicking my husband out of the house, initiating divorce proceedings and watching them get uglier with every passing month, dealing with my autistic son's seizures, financial problems, having to find a new place to live (that is, if our house ever sells), and watching several sober friends start drinking again. This disease makes it difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it is there for all of us. I've been reading about your struggles and totally understand how hopeless you must feel, but don't shut out your sources of support. They are your lifeline. We're here, we care, and we want you to stay. Don't give up on yourself or on us.
desertsong is offline  
Old 10-03-2013, 10:03 PM
  # 42 (permalink)  
Member
 
MythOfSisyphus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,936
Don't give up now, man. If you're sober there are options. Always.

Today is one year to the day that I got sober. I hadn't gone two days sober in over ten years. My life is in a place now I couldn't have dreamed of a year ago.

Get up and dust yourself off. Let this be the moment you changes, not the moment you quit.
MythOfSisyphus is offline  
Old 10-03-2013, 10:12 PM
  # 43 (permalink)  
Member
 
Ruturn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 82
Originally Posted by AugustWest11 View Post
I hate people I can not stand crowds .. I would freak out around shelters
Someone told me earlier today that a huge part of building succesful recovery is that we have to do things that make us uncomfortable. I have to move out of my house in about a week and a half when my wife comes home. I have to spend money I don't have on rent and will have to live with another alcoholic (he has several years of sobriety) in his house and obey all of his rules. I wil have to continue to to do all the things I do around here for my wife's business and yet I am giving up my ownership share in that business. Its all very scary and none of it do I really like, but I think I may have finally reached the point where I am desperate enough to do things that make me uncomfortable because I will have to do them all to be sober and have any chance of keeping my family. Good luck August. Use your support network and keep doing the right things. We can't change what we've all done in the past, but we can choose to take different actions today.
Ruturn is offline  
Old 10-03-2013, 10:31 PM
  # 44 (permalink)  
Sober since October
 
MidnightBlue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Hi, August.

I understand that you are lost and very upset, but don't make hasty decisions now.

A lot of good advices above. I bet they have Internet in Baltimore too - why to cut your primary source of support now?

I agree here with Scott - it's ENTIRELY UP TO YOU - not your immediate family, or anyone else, whether you are going to be sober or not.

Life is unfair apriori - accept this fact ASAP and move forward. Fight for you live and sobriety. Fight for getting professional help - counseling, rehab, whatever. Fear won't dissolve by itself - I believe we all are walking through this, sometimes it's damn scary but what else can we do but make the first step in faith and walk. And, you know, it turns out to be not that bad once you walk through fog of fear and despair.

Don't stop posting. Make a plan. There's no magic pill or silver bullet for sobriety - the same old plan and support. Support and plan. Plan and support.

Take care. Don't give up.
MidnightBlue is offline  
Old 10-03-2013, 10:36 PM
  # 45 (permalink)  
Member
 
MythOfSisyphus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,936
Please, August- stick around. There's always time to throw your life away later. Why not try to turn it around?
MythOfSisyphus is offline  
Old 10-04-2013, 12:49 AM
  # 46 (permalink)  
Member
 
ImperfectlyMe's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: North East, US
Posts: 2,310
I was hoping to wake to a post or pm from you I'm sure it's not going to be the best of mornings for you, but you don't yet see all the power that you hold in your palm in this very moment. Getting out of your ex's house may very well be what is healthiest for you. You're 40 something not 80 something this is not the end of the road friend!

Let all of us help you. In my observation you are completely frozen in fear. Fear of staying, leaving, success, failure. I get this, but standing still will only cement you. I don't want to sound like a tough lover because I know that shuts you down.... But you do have options.

Talk to your employer, call your dad, check out the link someone posted on rehabs in Baltimore.

It doesn't really matter what city or state you're in.... It matters what state your mind is in. There are so many of us on here who care about you. You did 70 days this spring/summer and I know you felt great. Lets get you back there. It's time to drudge through all this pain you've built your walls around. You know you can always reach out to me, to be a positive cheerleader.

Stop leaving in fear. You're missing out on the world and the world is really missing out in you!!
ImperfectlyMe is offline  
Old 10-04-2013, 04:00 AM
  # 47 (permalink)  
Member
 
FourSeasons's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: State of Acceptance
Posts: 756
Don't walk away from SR. You have made a lot of non-judging connections here. Regardless of where you end up, we will still be only a couple of clicks away. Reread some of your posts and the comments you have received. I am sure you will agree that there are a lot of people here who truly care about your well being. Please stick around.
FourSeasons is offline  
Old 10-04-2013, 04:00 AM
  # 48 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,242
dennis, please check in, we care xx
lorelei is offline  
Old 10-04-2013, 04:05 AM
  # 49 (permalink)  
Member
 
jdooner's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,359
Dennis, I have been out of town and just reading this thread now. I am sorry to hear and of the choices. Everyone seems to be supportive here and I think you may have some options. Let people help you, it will help them and benefit you. Gotta post though bud to get this done.
jdooner is offline  
Old 10-04-2013, 04:16 AM
  # 50 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: UK (England)
Posts: 2,782
Dennis, we all care very much. Even though things are difficult right now you do have options. You can get through this. I hope you stay here and let us try and help you.
hayley86 is offline  
Old 10-05-2013, 03:21 AM
  # 51 (permalink)  
Member
 
ImperfectlyMe's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: North East, US
Posts: 2,310
(((((August)))))) how are you holding up?
ImperfectlyMe is offline  
Old 10-05-2013, 10:37 AM
  # 52 (permalink)  
Member
 
Junegirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 332
Thinking of you, AW. Hope you come back...

June
Junegirl is offline  
Old 10-05-2013, 10:39 AM
  # 53 (permalink)  
Member
 
foolsgold66's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Earth
Posts: 1,791
Library - Internet - Post. Be well.
foolsgold66 is offline  
Old 10-05-2013, 11:50 AM
  # 54 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
AugustWest11's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Boston, MA.
Posts: 1,756
Thank You all .. Means so much knowing people do care .. I am gonna be on the net all night so will check in .. Sadly I am drinking though ( I don't want to but I hurt so much right now ..
Dennis
AugustWest11 is offline  
Old 10-05-2013, 11:51 AM
  # 55 (permalink)  
Member
 
AlefVavResh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Colorado
Posts: 355
Originally Posted by AugustWest11 View Post
I hate people I can not stand crowds .. I would freak out around shelters
I used to hate people and crowds. And I was as stubborn as you that I would never change - "that's just the way it is". Now I'm going to AA meetings and church meetings and look forward to them. Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined myself actually "liking people" as short as three months ago not to mention liking gatherings of them. I was angry all the time. . . . I know the mention of AA and church probably makes you disgusted with me, and you're shaking your head right about now, but I just had to say it. You can't hate people and heal emotionally. Try trusting one human being. Just one.
AlefVavResh is offline  
Old 10-05-2013, 11:58 AM
  # 56 (permalink)  
Member
 
ImperfectlyMe's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: North East, US
Posts: 2,310
Just stay here talk to us!
ImperfectlyMe is offline  
Old 10-05-2013, 11:58 AM
  # 57 (permalink)  
Behold the power of NO
 
Carlotta's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
Originally Posted by AugustWest11 View Post
Thank You all .. Means so much knowing people do care .. I am gonna be on the net all night so will check in .. Sadly I am drinking though ( I don't want to but I hurt so much right now ..
Dennis
Dennis, drinking is not going to change the fact that you have to relocate somewhere and are going to be homeless. If nothing else, it will make things worst. You need your wits about you!
Also leaving SR now is insane, it is when the going gets tough that you need the most support.
Call 211 and find out about what is out there in Baltimore. I hear you about not being a fit for shelters but there are alternatives. Pm me if you want to know more about Tent Cities (they have one over there) or urban camping. I can help.
Anyway, now is not the time for you to sit on the pity pot and cut off your support system. It is time to rise up and be proactive.
Many people have found sobriety while homeless and many people have been homeless and lived to tell about it.
8 years ago, I lost everything (in sobriety btw). I lived for two years in a tent and managed to move up and get my life back and mind you I am a middle class, middle age woman. I survived and bounced back!
This is not the end, just a different kind of beginning.

PM me
Carlotta is offline  
Old 10-05-2013, 11:59 AM
  # 58 (permalink)  
Member
 
happyhour's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 345
aw - good to see you post, and yea, there are a lot of people who do care. what are you up to? let us know, you were doing so well, that is still available to you, if you decide.

keep posting....
happyhour is offline  
Old 10-05-2013, 12:05 PM
  # 59 (permalink)  
Member
 
soberhawk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Scandinavia
Posts: 1,344
We do care Dennis and I am sorry you are hurting.

Drinking will numb it for a few hours it will not help, but you know that.

I am not in US, it did not know what to advice – I am so glad Carlotte knew

It is strange that we sometimes make life harder for us when it is hard enough in it self, we should not – this is the time we should be taking care of ourselves.

Please take care Dennis.
soberhawk is offline  
Old 10-05-2013, 12:26 PM
  # 60 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 638
Sorry to hear your circumstances AW. But most importantly do not give up. I am 105 days sober and don't regret getting sober one bit today. It can be done.

I can also relate a bit since I had a bad time in my life due to drinking. My relatives would lose their respect and trust for me and I was basically left without a home. I moved to a "friend" to live and did live for some time with drug-dealers. It has left no trauma, instead I think it has made me a better person. Wherever you go, remember that you can always start building your life into any direction you want. Location doesn't have to be a limitation since travelling these days should be quite versatile. Good luck anyway and keep SR close.
UnixBer is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:49 PM.