trikyriky

Baltimore has shelters Can you maybe contact one or at least locate one before Monday. Don't be bleak , you need to be planning.

AugustWest11

Maybe your right Scott ... You have always seem to be the one ..

AugustWest11

I hate people I can not stand crowds .. I would freak out around shelters

ScottFromWI

I am not the one, YOU are the one when it comes to figuring this out. You still have options and you know that you can stop drinking if you really want to as evidenced by the past successes you have had.

As some others have mentioned, you could be on the phone right now, this minute, figuring out where you might get some help with rehab, counseling or meetings once you get to Baltimore. You could also be talking with your parents about your need to get better and your intentions to stay away from your "Boys" back home.

You've got a LOT of tough choices to make here, but the are choices - not mandates. Make the right ones and you'll remember this day as the beginning of somethiing great.

PinotNOmore

Sorry to hear you're struggling! I know we've been trying at this for a while, but just cause things are bad now, doesn't mean they won't get better down the road! It's a tough battle, but it can be won! So many people on here have shown us that! Best wishes August!

Threshold

Or you can seek treatment where you are and not hop a plane to balitmore. Choose your stomping ground if it will make a difference, but in the end you either get sober or go under...location has little to do with it.

I got shuttled here, there and everywhere in the last days of my drinking, none of it really helped or harmed me...it just distracted me from what I could do on my own behalf.

Mizzuno

August- This is not the end. Please do not cut out the one main positive support that you have. You will live through this as long as you try. Try. I mean, Baltimore does not have to be the death of you. DO NOT make this your reality. You can.

ImperfectlyMe

Thinking of you stuck with the inlaws please hang on!!!

ippochick

please don't stop posting. this time last week i was on a psych ward after a suicide attempt that very nearly succeeded.

today i am grateful that i was saved. i have reached out, finally, and am extremely lucky that AA is already a good fit for me. the simplest thing that i took from my first meeting yesterday? i don't have to do this any more. it's so simple, but it's not easy.

please reach out for some help. you are not alone.

jaynie04

August, about 6 weeks ago I decided not to go away on vacation with my husband and daughter because I didn't want to get triggered. I thought I had found all the empties. They were gone for a week and I took a bath the second night. I looked over and there was a huge almost full bottle of vodka poking out of a plant where I must have left it before I went to rehab.(lovely I know)

I left it there and had my husband get rid of it when he got home.

I could have drank the whole bottle and he would have been none the wiser, but I would have been. I wouldn't go out of my way to test the sobriety, but I am committed to knowing that short of being mugged and having it poured down my throat, no one and nothing can make me drink.

Sometimes it helps to look at the absolute worst case scenario and imagine how you will handle it. If you have to go back to Baltimore why is that absolutely connected to losing your sobriety? It isn't. SR is a moveable feast, we go with you. Check out a few meetings at least you know you are among peeps. Go late, leave early. Worst case scenario..you faint. Someone will revive you.

The thing is if you drink you can't write the worst case scenario....most of us are rolling the dice if we ever pick up a drink. Say all the other externals that you have no control over come to fruition, the one thing that you do have control over, the most important thing by far, is not drinking.

Hevyn

Your friends here care about you deeply AW. No matter what happens you never have to lose us. We support you - and I pray for you to come through this dark time with a new awareness and renewed determination. We know you have it in you to rise above this and live again.

Petal

If you must move, then you will need support, so i think keeping atleast here on this page where ppl care about you and your wellbeing would be a good thing....
Im new here i dont know you BUT id like to know you and we can support one another through the journey from hell. Chin up x stay safe x be strong x 1 day at a time

FeenixxRising

Can't you find other living arrangements where you are? You have a job there don't you? And what's in Baltimore?

Bruce292

Listen you! Keep checking in here! Please! I've really enjoyed our dialogue and reading your posts has helped me more than you know. So you'll be in Baltimore instead of Bean Town but the goals are the same. That is to get sober and to be sane. We need you in this community. I'll be watching for you!

ZeldaFan

Please don't leave us AW! I have enjoyed getting to know you through your posts over the past month. We are all here for you no matter where you physically reside!

Freebird13

AW--whatever path you choose: Godspeed!

Acheleus

Please stay AW!

pinkdog

Hi August, you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Sobersunshine

August, I don't know you, but please stay with us. You CAN succeed. Many have been in your position or worse and they have gotten sober. I know it's hard, really really hard. But I know you have it in you to beat your addiction and have a happy life.

longbeachone

August, You are at a crossroad in your life. Do you want to stop this endless madness? If you do, you must get yourself into a headspace where you will do ANYTHING to get sober. If you have to live with a hundred people, it should not matter, as long as you get sober.

That said, there are programs out there that are live-in rehabs that are free. I did a simple search and found a website that has 30 free live-in rehabs in Baltimore. Here is the link:

Baltimore MD Free Rehab Centers

Will it be hard? Yes! Will you be uncomfortable? Probably. Will they cater to your particular set of wants and needs? No. However, homelessness is worse, severe alcoholism is far worse, and death is the bottom floor of your elevator ride down to your rock bottom. Maybe it's time to surrender to this disease, go somewhere where they know something about recovery, and give yourself over to it completely. You must get out of your own way August...stop finding reasons why you cannot do something. Find a place that will take you and just do it...just get sober.

We all want you to find peace and contentment. This may be just what you need to finally get sober. Don't stop posting...and don't surrender to melodrama. This is a doable situation and yes, you can do it. It's time to step up to the plate. Start calling and don't stop until you have found a place that will take you. Beg if you must.