least

I got tired of hating myself and wishing I were dead. I stay sober with the help of SR and my addiction counselor. It's been working for almost four years.

Here's are some of our stories of recovery.


Stories of Recovery - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

duane1

I was starting to have major health problems due to my drinking. I had been having neurological issues and skin rash issues for years. Finally, I developed a pain in my liver. Every time I drank, my liver started to throb. It started to cause me to have panic attacks every time I drank. Even at that, it took me a few months to quit. I just decided the negatives now were so outweighing the positives, that I poured everything out and charged a 180 degrees in the other direction. Been 16 months now.

deeker

I had what AA calls all the yets. Jails 7 - Institutions 14 - sucide attempts 2

I had no where to go but die or get help. I was done.

Stupid pride kept me out there till the very end. The pride I was raised with that

we are tough and don't hurt, don't cry, and never admit defeat.

Pride almost killed me.

83mama0f2

For me it hasn't ever gotten too bad. I sure hope this is it. Day 21 now and when I feel weak I just log on here and I can get through the urge. my aha moment was after a party one night where the drinking started at 2:30 pm. I drank steadily most of the day(but didn't really get drunk, just kept a buzz going) and by the time I had gotten home at 10:30 my buzz was gone, so I wanted to keep drinking. Stayed up until 1am and had 4 more drinks before finally going to bed. I felt controlled by it. I felt like I was tired of being a slave to the feeling of not being sober....needing to alter my state of being all the time. That was it. I hope I stay strong.

Acheleus

Seven days done now. I got to the point that I was blacking out during every binge--for hours. That and falling down in public, being drunk alone every weekend, and people seeing me as a pathetic lush. Now I have to figure out who I really am.

pinkdog

Hi benat, I just got tired of the whole thing. Feeling sick all the time. Worrying about the alcohol. Missing out on the good things in life and drinking instead. The increasing factor of the alcohol convinced me that it would only get worse. I chose to get rid of it and see how good life really can be. I made the right choice. Very best to you.

MythOfSisyphus

This is pretty close to how it happened for me. I was tired of drinking and ashamed that it dominated my entire life. It was frustrating not being able to do anything that kept me away from my fix. Couldn't take a longer camping trip than I could carry booze enough for, couldn't travel to placed with 'Blue Laws' without taking my own stash, couldn't make plans for early in the day because I knew I'd be too sick and hung over, couldn't take a full time chef job because I couldn't stay sober long enough to work all day...the list goes on. Got tired of spending $650/month on wine, too. The burden of drinking was becoming so bad that it wasn't worth the release I got from it.

Plus, I could see that it was going to kill me, probably sooner as opposed to later. The human body can't continue on with processing that much booze every single day.

MN81713

That would be my "quote, if not his" in so many words,,,this is a great place with so many awesome people, you can keep your laptop (or whatever) on and anytime, place find words of wisdom and help. I love this site!!!! I have the same story as many you have heard, only on 24 hours, going to start treatment Monday. I wish you the best, here, is a great place to be...it has for me....

SparklingSeven

Hey Benat,

Have a read-up on L-glutamine for cravings. On top of everything else you are doing you may find it of use. There's plenty of information on this site as it has been discussed before -and of course on the net.

I used it myself the first couple of years and swear by it.

Mountainmanbob

two terrible blackouts

one ended in yet another trip to jail

the other was yet another totaled vehicle (motor home)

and

a loving wife who wanted to save our marriage
that on my part would require total abstinence from alcohol

Mountainman

Jeni26

I think it was a moment of clarity for me too...

When I think back, there had been many times I should have stopped and stayed stopped, but although I was filled with shame and remorse, my addiction convinced me over time that I was ok. Our alcoholic brains are expert at re-writing the script and convincing us things weren't as bad as we originally thought.

So I didn't give up after the trips to hospital when I needed to be stitched up. I didn't give up after having to go to work with a black eye and split lip and the kids I teach asking me what has happened. Not even waking up after a night out with friends with other guys numbers in my phone and finding a host of hugely inappropriate texts that I'd sent and anxiety about lost memories of anything else that might have happened the night before. None of that.

I just woke up one Saturday morning and was tired of it. Nothing awful had happened the night before but my hands were shaking so badly I couldn't hold a cup of coffee. I knew I was too ill to spend time with my kids. The acid in my stomach was so bad it was giving me chest pains....and I knew. Time was up.

A moment of clarity from somewhere, and I started a journey that is amazing.

Keep going, it is SO worth it x

ODAT11

Me too...for sure, me too.....

Sobersunshine

I wanted to get sober because my life was misery itself. I had tried before and failed--always went back to "moderate" drinking, which lasted for a week at most til I was back into full alcoholic mode.

What has kept me sober is AA and all that goes with it (fellowship, sponsor, higher power and prayer, working the steps).

SR has also been a tremendous help to me.

I am so grateful to be sober today.

afloatsober

30 days and 37 empty vodka bottles on my bed on my boat.
Too ill to get more and my partner told me no more was coming.
She had been told it was killing me. It was.
Last sip and a prayer to God to end it, take me in the withdrawal.
I' had enough.
Nothing more to give to this demon alcohol.
But if you spare me, please grant me the grace and courage and strength to change
My will and strength are used up.........
Not a drink since..
Gx

Pipping

I was lying on the couch extremely hung over when my husband confronted me about my drinking. The pain in his eyes was evident. I know I have to stop. I am constantly sick, tired and irritable. I look older than my years and have gained weight. I am no longer any fun. I isolate myself and eat terrible food. My hair is thinning. I have anxiety and gross bathroom problems. Not exactly a candidate for Miss World anytime soon. Day 3 today.

LiveLikeGold6

I drove over an hour drunk on a freeway at high speeds to a street friends house and did Crystal Meth for 24 hours. Oh and I had a 14 month old baby waiting to be picked up. Done deal. Ugh brings me tears.

MaxxPower

Ended up in the hospital with Pancreatitis.

Stayed sober for 10 days and got right back into my hardcore drinking patterns for 5 months(drinking morning/afternoon/night.

Got myself into Detox cause the withdrawals felt like i was dying. When I was released from Detox I walked STRAIGHT to a liquor store and started drinking again.

That lasted for a week and I was back in the hospital. Opened up to my family about my drinking.

Saw my Parents start to cry..That was it - been sober every since (71 days)

SparklingSeven

Sorry! Above reply should be on your other post on how to quit drinking!!

Notmyrealname

For me it was a few things.

- yet another beautiful woman leaving my life mostly because of alcohol-related issues

- realization that eventually my drinking would cause me to lose my job, making my whole "house of cards" come tumbling down in a pile

- understanding that I drink because I choose to buy and imbibe alcohol, and not for any of the myriad excuses one might come up with, so I'm in complete control of the situation and am ultimately completely responsible for my own behavior

- the desire to try something new, an experiment of sorts; "what could I achieve as a sober person?"; and perhaps the knowledge that time is running out.. I hit 40, figured from 20-40 was probably a long enough time of strong substance abuse behavior, figured I'd give something else a try

- a greater perception of the problem and the solution, and (largely to reading posts here on SR) seeing a way to salvation, as it were, and a realization that this problem of mine could be solved, and in fact has been solved by many people, even people in worse straits than my own

That's some of it, I guess. Non-exhaustive list. the old, "including but not limited to . ." language

Oh, forgot one!

- I realized that almost every bad thing in my life over the past twenty years is related to alcohol, I'm not even kidding. I can go down the years, ticking them off on my fingers and thumbs. So many dreams derailed.. But after all that, I have a pretty good life, all things considered, so I am very thankful for what I have. But yeah, let's see how far this car can go down the road without me constantly driving it into the ditch . .

LadyBlue0527

I knew that I was at the end of my chances that I had been given. It was either I quit or lose everything in my life that was precious and dear to me. The words in your quote are exactly what I said on the morning that I made the decision.

What made me stay sober was the realization that I needed to do this for myself. No more quitting for other people so that I could resent them and talk myself back into drinking because of it.

I had hit many rock bottoms too and this wasn't one of them. I was just sick and tired of being sick and tired and disgusted at the person that I had become.