My Mind is at War - here's what I am doing
 

The Past: My mind is at war and I can’t control my actions; including drinking; thinking; emotions because I can’t control my thoughts. And my old thoughts have been playing over and over in my head for 20 plus years. My thoughts have controlled my actions and my actions have created a mess in my life. The problem is I don’t know what to do even though I want to change. So I need a battle plan; new weapons to save me from my thinking.

So what do I do? Well I go to meetings and listen; I make notes to review later; I am reading the Big Book and other literature & praying. I use tools that I learn like being grateful. In prayer I come to my higher power and ask for help all day long not just once in the morning. For example, it could be as simple as saying thy will be done. I reach out and try to grow my connections and relationships. If I don’t allow my higher power (God) to control my will and life, then it’s game over.

Your post reminded me of this quote.

“Carefully watch your thoughts, for they become your words. Manage and watch your words, for they will become your actions. Consider and judge your actions, for they have become your habits. Acknowledge and watch your habits, for they shall become your values. Understand and embrace your values, for they become your destiny.”
Mahatma Gandhi

BTW, I think with practice, you can become disciplined in your thinking.

Have you considered looking into the book 'Rational Recovery the New Cure for Substance Addiction'?

The insights in that book really resonated with me, because of the perspective I gained from their description of addiction and the mechanisms that drive it.
After reading the book and looking back on all my attempts to quit prior to reading about their method, I was amazed to see how closely it described the battle in my head or thinking.
That perspective is a great tool to use to set a plan and help change thinking.
wish you well

Welcome back! :hug: