benat

Im 24 and I've been a heavy drinker since I was 17, mostly binge drinking on the weekends. I never thought I had a problem but up until this last year. My face,skin,eye look unhealthy, I feel bloated, and worst of all my mind...I feel like im going crazy. I have tried to quit several times. The longest I went was a month and I felt amazing but then I relapsed. NOW after this summer, I try to quit and I have these wars in my head and it seems like I literally can not quit. My brain and body crave it so badly now that I find it almost impossible to stop. It almost seems like there is some one inside my head trying to find every excuse to drink and most of the time it wins. I went last week to find a councillor to help me, so we will see how that works out. Im just afraid these temptations will never end. I know you half to have willpower but its really hard. I hate drinking, I hate the taste of it..but I cant stop.

Has anyone else experienced this? And if so what did you do to help the temptations and these awful cravings? I need HELPPPP!

Dee74

Coming here is a great start Benat - support really helps.

Read around and post as much as you like - see what other people are doing - pick an
approach that makes sense to you?

Welcome to SR

freshstart57

I think that this two sided struggle is at the root of all addiction. Part of you says no, part of you says yes, and you continue to drink at the expense of life aspects that are important to you.

There is much benefit for some of us to refer to that 'someone in your head' as your Addictive Voice, or your AV. This leads to a powerful way of looking at addiction that allows you to recognize and separate yourself from your AV. Maybe Addictive Voice Recognition Technique will appeal to your way of thinking. You can learn more about it by putting 'rational recovery' into your googler, or by reading in our Secular Connections forum.

Another technique that helps with these urges or cravings is called 'urge surfing', something else worth trying.

At any rate, you have found SR. There is a lot of support for you here.

FeenixxRising

The cravings can be rough. What exactly is the "war in your head" like?

least

to SR! I had success in stopping drinking by daily visits to this site and by sessions with my counselor. I credit both for my continuing sobriety.


CarolD used to say that you have to want to be sober more than you want to drink. I think she was right.

gr9813

Sounds just like me. Every morning I would wake up hungover and say to myself today's the day. Like clockwork every night at 5pm I would have that same battle your talking about. I had the desire to quit daily, but would lose the battle every time. The most recent go around I watched alcohol related documentaries and read the posts here on Sober Recovery for the first week nonstop. During that first week, I found it helpful to completely change up my routine. Drove a different way home, showered at night rather than morning, ect. Exercise was a big help too. Doing yoga several times a week and a good old fashioned calastetic routine. It gets easier to win the battles after you get past the first 4-5 days. You get a lot of support here, keep coming here everyday, especially before the battles starts. Best of luck on your journey.

Spinach

Your doing well, just by being here.
I wish I had been able to work out that it was a problem not just something we did when I was your age.
Start again and count the days, keep some record of what you saved including not ruining friendships and plan things.
It's all there for you including this place , keep in touch here and get on with it.
John.

benat

Thanks a lot I will defiantly do that and switch things up!!

It just gets tiresome trying to quit and having failed to stop so many times It almost seems hopeless. I never thought I would be addicted like this, and now I know how hard quitting really is. Thanks everyone!

tyou

Anna

It's hard to do it, but you can do it, and the fact you're here seeking support will help you a lot.

And, changing routines helped me a lot too. It helped to break the intensity of the habit in the first weeks. And, you might have to change friends and activities in your life, too, in order to make recovery work.

grocerease

I feel like I am reading a post that I have written. I am going through the same thing right now. I finally realized that I need a support group. I'm going to give AA a try, but there are many options. Also, reading books about recovery have helped. Is crazy when you feel like you have control and then you realize that your addiction has become so powerful. Stick with SR also it's a big help. Hope this was helpful, remember you are not alone.

courage2

Welcome to SR, Benat! You did a good thing to find this site.

What I did to stop drinking (~9 months ago, when I couldn't stop "on my own"):

• Found this site and started posting here, asking questions like WTF is going on w/me and alcohol? (No question is too desperate, trivial, or icky for SR.)
• Tried one day at a time to go without drinking. (Didn't work.)
• Took a suggestion from someone here to try AA.
• Kept coming to SR for support, sometimes all day long.
• Kept going to AA meetings.

Both SR and AA help me stay sober, and I'm sticking with both for as long as I can, because sobriety sure beats my so-called life as a drunk!

river2013

Decided it was something I should have done years ago, and it made me sick I didn't. After trying ( knowing I would drink again and it was just a break) I decided this time was going to be for good. It has only been 5 days, but this time is totally different. I love the way I feel all day long and night time too. I never want to be drunk or even a little buzzed ever again in my life. Normal, guiltless, and peace feels so much more better. I think deciding to feel good all the time instead of wasted for a few hours is much more rewarding. Good Luck! Don't wait until 10,20,30 years go by and be where you are today. Now that's depressing.

Hevyn

Happy you found us benat! I drank all my life, & being here helped me get off the rollercoaster. Everyone understood what I was going through & that helped me to not feel alone. I'm glad you're seeing what alcohol does to you at a young age. If I'd only done that my life would be completely different. Be proud of yourself for reaching out. You can do it.

wakko

AA works for many including 20 somethings

longbeachone

Alcohol is physically and mentally addictive. Both must be addressed. Once you have managed to physically withdraw from drinking (usually a week to ten days) you will continue to suffer from psychological addiction, and that's where your planning and preparation come in to play. What I mean by this is the methods that you use to help overcome alcoholism. AA Meetings, rehab if you can afford it. There are free live in programs if you can't afford it. SMART, Rational Recovery, Celebrate Recovery...all of these are excellent programs to help you overcome this disease. And it IS a disease, a deadly one that progresses, growing worse and worse over time. If not checked, most alcoholics end up in jail or dead. It sounds scary, but I just hope you will see the seriousness of your situation. You can try to give up drinking on your own, with no help from a program, it can be done, but I wouldn't recommend it...it's called "white knuckling" it, and its very hard. There is awesome help available to you if you reach out for it.

Good luck, stay on SR and post as much as you can.

IWillWin

I finally got tired of being sick and tired. And I surrendered. It won. And I admitted it.

With AA in the beginning, SR everyday even now over 1 year later, I stayed sober.

But mostly, and others will say this too - I want to be sober MORE than I want to be drunk. Once that cosmic shift happens in your thinking, you will protect it at all costs.

Best of luck - sure wish I had the wisdom to see this coming when I was your age. Good for you for even asking the questions and taking action. It's not an easy road but one worth traveling.

gr9813

I think failing is part of the process. Just try not to become complacent and give up trying. I've been trying for the last 6 years, and I would go months where I would give up hope; drinking be came habit and the battles were nonexistent. Then I would get motivated and try again. I invite you to keep coming to this website and try your best, there is a lot of inspiration here. If you slip, don't beat yourself up, just keep at it. You WILL get there.

vincho

Welcome Benat!

I am on day 5 of quitting drinking, and have actually had a very similar situation as you. I am 22 years old, started drinking at 13 and started drinking a lot at 17. I also mostly binged on the weekends and did not see it as a problem until the last couple of years. The progression you described sounds awfully familiar and I also noticed the effects that alcohol was beginning to have on my body, mind and emotions. Coming to these forums was a good decision, as there is a lot of information on quitting. That is good that you have a counselor, you are already taking the correct steps by continuing to find a way to sobriety. It is a lot easier if you just take it one craving at a time, whether that be every second, every day or just once a week. Don't think too far ahead, and when your mind tries to sway you to have a drink - take a look in the mirror and evaluate what alcohol has done to your body and mind, and where it will take you if you continue to be friends with it.

Best wishes.

-vincho

Nuudawn

Addiction spits in the face of white-knuckle willpower sweetie. All alone....I don't think we are adequately armed. You will find tremendous support right here on this website.And there are many other recovery routes available. You will find you have tons in common with folks here. Addiction is a multi-trick pony but you will find people here who have been conned by all the tricks. You ask? You will get a multitude of answers and with likely more than one that will resonate with you.

I think find a good counsellor is brilliant. My therapist has been integral to my recovery...as has this forum and a lot of spiritual and recovery reading.

Cravings will come...they will sneak up a bite ya when you're not expecting sometimes. One of my first queries to myself (yes, I check in with me often) is..what's going on? Have you heard of H.A.L.T? Am I Hungry, Angry Lonely or Tired. That one has saved me a few times...as has posting BEFORE I pick up a drink.

Welcome.

Br00ksie

AA meetings are the only way that I've been able to stay sober. I'm 30 and have known I was an alcoholic since I was 21. I am 20 days alcohol-free and am going to meetings DAILY, specifically during times when I am most likely to pick up. I am fortunate in that I live in a city (NYC) that has so many options and AA resources, but AA is everywhere. I tried going to an AA meeting for the first time a couple of years ago, didn't go back, and started drinking shortly after. I realize now it is because I wasn't ready to stop drinking then. It took turning 30, being single in 6 weddings, isolating myself and alienating many close friends and family members for me to realize that sobriety is my only option if I wanted to have anything that resembled a decent quality of life. You have to come to it in your own time, on your own terms.

I had to understand and accept that my friendships/relationships would change. You will not succeed in sobriety if you continue to party with people who go to bars /clubs and binge drink. Yes, you will have weak moments and you will be in situations where being around alcohol is unavoidable. I am still learning that the more I subject myself to people and situations that involve alcohol, the more I am putting myself at risk of picking up a drink. I had to learn that my alcoholism was unmanageable. Alcoholism is a progressive disease, and whenever I tried to "manage" it by limiting myself to just one drink, "one drink" inevitably turned into "wasted". Maybe not right away, but it ALWAYS happened eventually.

I had to accept that, in sobriety, my LIFE would change, and change is HARD. But it is changing for the better. The longer I am sober, the more confident I become and the easier it is to STAY sober. I understand that the alcoholic inside of me will be there until the day I die, waiting to catch me at a weak moment, and that I have to constantly be aware of that fact.

You joined SR for a reason. Whatever that reason is, this is a great place to get support. Whenever you are ready to be more productive, have more meaningful relationships, and be liberated from the grief, guilt, and drama that comes with drinking too much, AA and SR will be here. It takes a lot of people many tries before they finally commit to a sober lifestyle, but as long as you keep trying, you are on the right track!!! Google the book "Living Sober" and read the first couple of chapters. It is a good starting point, and has helped me TREMENDOUSLY in terms of coping with my feelings about drinking. Good luck!!!