Indenial618

So, I just wanted to write this so I don't forget in the future and can look back and reflect on this moment. This morning my son had a field trip, one that I volunteered to be a chaperone on. I'm on day 13 by the way. So I wake up this morning with a heavy feeling in my chest and just plan feeling yucky. My allergies always act up around this time of year. Of course feeling this way started to give me anxiety. I felt dizzy and sick to my stomach. I debated on writing the teacher and not going. I even texted my husband asking him if he could take my place on the field trip, but he had a super busy day at work. I then sat on the edge of my bed and started writing an email, of course, making the situation way worse then it already was. You know, "all of a sudden" I had a fever and was vomiting as well. Halfway through the email I put the phone down. I thought about how disappointed my son would be and I knew it was just allergies I was experiencing.

But here I went making an excuse. I was the queen of excuses throughout my drinking career. I think it was just a natural reaction to feeling crappy as every time I was hungover I had some sort of excuse as to why I couldn't do something. From that moment on I decided it was time to put my big girl pants on and suck it up like normal responsible adults. No more excuses unless I'm on my death bed!!! We had a fabulous day and the pictures I took could never be replaced. No more excuses. I realized today that my AV just doesn't have to be about wanting alcohol. It's all those things I didn't like about me when I was drinking. Good bye AV, you are no longer welcome in my head, there is not enough room in there with all my other crazy thoughts!!

Mizzuno

YA! I like this. There is not enough room with all of the other thoughts. I am happy for you and your son. I am sure the field trip was a blast. Good for you!

Charliee

I love it! Congrats, I think this is absolutely wonderful. I think I may apply this to my own life.

BarbieKen

Thank you Indenial for sharing with us all. Yes, indeed...the excuses! Since being sober, I've been asked a few times to talk at some meetings at AA. As the date got closer, I'd back out with some stupid reason. This Saturday I did not back out of my commitment. Boy, being there and being semi relaxed as I shared.... Bobbi

LadyBlue0527

I've found that half the battle is making yourself do something. Usually once you're there and doing it then it's well worth it!