Day 3 check in
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,920
Day 3 check in
I went to a meeting today and I am calling my sponsor in the evenings. This is my last time getting away from day 1. I'm working tonight, grading papers, and going to be getting some reading and studying done. I am working on getting back down to the state where I feel at home. My brain still hurts today, and my depression is bad, but I am seeing my counselor tomorrow.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,760
I'm glad you're seeing your counselor.
I've always been helped by my counseling sessions. She's been a great help, not only in my sobriety, but in my life in general.
Congrats on day three.
I've always been helped by my counseling sessions. She's been a great help, not only in my sobriety, but in my life in general. Congrats on day three.
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,920
Yes it gets bad, just one day drinking and I feel insane for three days. I feel so disgusted with myself. My head is scattered but I walked last night and I have a ton of grading to do. The stress of work is killing me but I have to take a nap I am so tired.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 544
Question-
And I ask this with love, why do you feel the need to keep repeating the counting process? If it was working for you, yes, I could understand doing it. But if its not, why put additional pressure on yourself to not only stay sober, but to maintain a streak at the same time? Doesn't it seem more logical, and thus easier to do away with counting process altogether and just not drink today?
Food for thought.
And I ask this with love, why do you feel the need to keep repeating the counting process? If it was working for you, yes, I could understand doing it. But if its not, why put additional pressure on yourself to not only stay sober, but to maintain a streak at the same time? Doesn't it seem more logical, and thus easier to do away with counting process altogether and just not drink today?
Food for thought.
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,920
I want to check in here everyday. I have no real life friends and I hate my life. Sometimes I get so many mixed signals from people on this site I feel like it is more negative than positive. I am MENTALLY ILL, in addition to alcoholism. I want to be accountable on SR.
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,920
Maybe counting does strange things to my brain. I have been grading and trying to relax a little bit. I just want my spirit to grow again, I miss my friend who left me, she was my only friends, but I have SR, my guitar, and my books. Tomorrow I see my counselor and I will be brutal in my honesty. I just hope she does not commit me to the hospital when I tell her how often I think of suicide. I just have a sense of impending doom. Maybe I will take a walk now then finish grading.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,385
I think it's really important to be honest Ach - doctors can't fully help unless they know the whole story
As for counting - I reckon only drinking can get you drunk.
If you feel counting is a trigger for you, then sure, stop... but if you feel it's helping and helps keep you accountable then keep it up
D
As for counting - I reckon only drinking can get you drunk.
If you feel counting is a trigger for you, then sure, stop... but if you feel it's helping and helps keep you accountable then keep it up
D
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,920
Thank you for not giving up on me Dee.
I know my biggest trigger is feeling worthless when I think of my ex and her family having nothing to do with me, but I have to remind myself I did not care about her because if I did I would not have verbally and emotionally abused her when drunk.
Resentments and self pity are luxuries the alcoholic can ill afford. Did Silkworth say that?
Gonna try some exercise/meditation. I feel like I have not told the counselor how bad I feel about myself. I find it difficult to look at myself in the mirror. I am sick of hating myself, I want to forgive myself and give myself fresh air and sunlight to grow in day by day.
I know my biggest trigger is feeling worthless when I think of my ex and her family having nothing to do with me, but I have to remind myself I did not care about her because if I did I would not have verbally and emotionally abused her when drunk.
Resentments and self pity are luxuries the alcoholic can ill afford. Did Silkworth say that?
Gonna try some exercise/meditation. I feel like I have not told the counselor how bad I feel about myself. I find it difficult to look at myself in the mirror. I am sick of hating myself, I want to forgive myself and give myself fresh air and sunlight to grow in day by day.
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Littleton, Co.
Posts: 3,317
Seems to me as if you are working hard on your sobriety, good for you, you can do this. If you are honest with your counselor and tell her everything... even if you do end up in the hospital it may just be what you need at this time.
Best wishes
Best wishes
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