Is this childish?
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
I agree with the others. This is crazy. These 'professionals' behaviour is disgraceful. They are taking your money and abusing you.They will continue to do it for as long as you allow them to.
If I were you I would stop seeing all 3 of them immediately and find new people to help you. For the sake of your mental health, sobriety and your financial stability too
If I were you I would stop seeing all 3 of them immediately and find new people to help you. For the sake of your mental health, sobriety and your financial stability too
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Colorado
Posts: 355
Originally Posted by jaynie04 
When we met yesterday she kept her phone on her lap and the table next to her and must have picked it up at least 15 times during our session to look at texts she was receiving.
I have nothing else to add to the great advice I've read here. Good luck and keep us posted.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 5,554
Oh, Jaynie, I do not think you need that sober coach, but more importantly, it souns like you do not think you need him. Cancel your credit card, if he continues to bill you. I do not like the idea of a contract binding you to someone like that!
I really think you can find another psychiatrist if it is meds you need, and if you are stable with your meds, a primary care doc can prescribe them while you look or wait for a new prescribing psych. Something is not right here.
And, I think itis really great that you have worked it out by posting. It is like journaling. You get it all out there and can see it more clearly.
I really think you can find another psychiatrist if it is meds you need, and if you are stable with your meds, a primary care doc can prescribe them while you look or wait for a new prescribing psych. Something is not right here.
And, I think itis really great that you have worked it out by posting. It is like journaling. You get it all out there and can see it more clearly.
Day tripper
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 57
Jaynie, I am with ReadyAtLast...it is absolutely disrespectful of you and your time that your therapist is pulling all these scheduling shenanigans. I really question the need for a "sober coach" as well...sounds to me like the three of these folks have a racket going on.
I understand the stigma and shame part of being an alcoholic (I think we all do, here), and I certainly understand your feeling a bit cowed by these folks...but I hope that you'll trust your instincts and extricate yourself from this trifecta.
I really admire you and always look for your posts...this is not you, it's them.
I understand the stigma and shame part of being an alcoholic (I think we all do, here), and I certainly understand your feeling a bit cowed by these folks...but I hope that you'll trust your instincts and extricate yourself from this trifecta.
I really admire you and always look for your posts...this is not you, it's them.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Southern U.S.
Posts: 1,030
Jaynie, I'm so glad you got out the whole story of what's going on--I know that was hard. I agree with other good advice here...remove yourself from the circle of craziness. I like the idea of interviewing new therapists...you could find a new therapist and a new psychiatrist who don't know each other.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Nutmegger
Posts: 1,799
Originally Posted by Raider
Run and run fast as far as you can to get from these weird people.
There have been details in sessions that have breached boundaries and I was tacitly complicit by not addressing them because I was trying to be a team player. As much as this is my recovery, I need to remember that this is still a business and that people are not doing this out of charity. I get extremely uncomfortable standing my ground in my personal life, the feedback here has helped enormously...thank you guys.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Southern U.S.
Posts: 1,030
Jaynie, your posting about this motivated me to do something today that I've been avoiding for a long time. It's small change compared to what you're dealing with over there, but I'll share anyway.
I agreed to a subscription to the local paper back in March, even though I prefer to read the news online. Halfway into the subscription, they charged my credit card for a renewal (which I had explicitly asked them not to do). I went to the bank and got the charge removed, and called the paper to tell them to stop delivery. BUT, during that conversation, the sales rep was persistent and I once again agreed to get the paper!! Urgh. I was so mad at myself when I hung up. They sent a bill this time because I wouldn't give them my card, and I never paid the bill so never got the paper. I thought I was home free by avoiding it. But they've been calling every day, and I never answer the phone. Today I answered and said, 'no, not at this time, etc'. Again, the rep offered a better deal, but this time I said 'No. Please remove me from your calling list'.
I feel free! Thank you for the inspiration
I agreed to a subscription to the local paper back in March, even though I prefer to read the news online. Halfway into the subscription, they charged my credit card for a renewal (which I had explicitly asked them not to do). I went to the bank and got the charge removed, and called the paper to tell them to stop delivery. BUT, during that conversation, the sales rep was persistent and I once again agreed to get the paper!! Urgh. I was so mad at myself when I hung up. They sent a bill this time because I wouldn't give them my card, and I never paid the bill so never got the paper. I thought I was home free by avoiding it. But they've been calling every day, and I never answer the phone. Today I answered and said, 'no, not at this time, etc'. Again, the rep offered a better deal, but this time I said 'No. Please remove me from your calling list'.
I feel free! Thank you for the inspiration
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Nutmegger
Posts: 1,799
Great job Kadidee....and it's not small change! It's those little 'it doesn't matter" that get us in the habit so when the bigger issues come up they seem overwhelming because we are not used to flexing our muscles! (can you make some phone calls for me?)
)
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Originally Posted by jaynie04
The issue that is most concerning is that I feel guilty for talking about this.....like I need to protect those involved, and that I am being "bad" for discussing this,
And guess what? It did.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
jaynie,
the three of them referring to each other and tossing you from one to the other to the other all making money off you not saying "STOP!" when all of them KNOW you won't say "STOP!"???
sounds like a nightmare! callous, unprofessional, unethical.
YOU, however, despite feeling disloyal, sound like you see the picture and the wrongness of it well enough to post about it.
you see it well enough to not be okay with it.
it's NOT OKAY.
saying it just in case it helps to hear it from strangers on the internet.
but YOU already KNOW it's not okay.
might be wise to look for a totally unconnected therapist, a male maybe since you say you have less difficulty being assertive with guys, and cut ties with the torturous trio.
what really comes through is that you're trying to take care of yourself.
keep doing that.
the three of them referring to each other and tossing you from one to the other to the other all making money off you not saying "STOP!" when all of them KNOW you won't say "STOP!"???
sounds like a nightmare! callous, unprofessional, unethical.
YOU, however, despite feeling disloyal, sound like you see the picture and the wrongness of it well enough to post about it.
you see it well enough to not be okay with it.
it's NOT OKAY.
saying it just in case it helps to hear it from strangers on the internet.
but YOU already KNOW it's not okay.
might be wise to look for a totally unconnected therapist, a male maybe since you say you have less difficulty being assertive with guys, and cut ties with the torturous trio.
what really comes through is that you're trying to take care of yourself.
keep doing that.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 443
At a minimum you should walk away from this situation. The appointment business and the phone thing are rude and counterproductive. But this:
This is absolutely jaw dropping, and possibly reportable to your state's medical licensing board as professional misconduct.
Originally Posted by jaynie04
She encouraged me to meet with him....We had 2 meetings, his monthly fee was huge and he mentioned it would likely be reduced. He showed up at the next meeting and without blinking handed over the contract with a full month fee. I felt too embarrassed to say no and I signed and gave him my cc. The three of them know each other and refer among themselves.
Meanwhile I am spending a fortune. I am trying to hard to do sobriety correctly but I am feeling taken advantage of.
Meanwhile I am spending a fortune. I am trying to hard to do sobriety correctly but I am feeling taken advantage of.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Scandinavia
Posts: 1,344
Jaynie,
I would kind of expect that counselors and couches are supporting you, in your case it seems that the personal development more lies in handling them than in getting support from them.
You seem to be a bright and mature woman Jaynie, trust your gut and take control.
You are paying these people to help you, you should not be worried whether they are coordinating their activities. Just the fact you worry about that is enough to make changes.
I would kind of expect that counselors and couches are supporting you, in your case it seems that the personal development more lies in handling them than in getting support from them.
You seem to be a bright and mature woman Jaynie, trust your gut and take control.
You are paying these people to help you, you should not be worried whether they are coordinating their activities. Just the fact you worry about that is enough to make changes.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Nutmegger
Posts: 1,799
Thanks so much for all your support guys. I had a 9am with my therapist today. I wanted to discuss how unhappy I am with her friend the psychiatrist and how the psychiatrist has consistently screwed up appts and blamed me, spent our last session distracted looking at her phone, has failed to fax paperwork to my insurance co so I had to pay almost $1100 this am for one script, simply because she has not faxed the form. (hopefully I will be able to submit myself).
I walk into the therapist's office on time and sit down across from her. She has HER phone on her knees. She keeps it there and glances up at me and says "how are you". I thought of everyone here, honestly you guys were like that little guy that used to sit on Fred Flinstone's shoulder. I was staring at her, because now it is occurring at me to be horrified.
I didn't say anything. She still had her phone on her knees and was looking at it and pressing buttons. She glanced up again and said "go ahead" and looked back down at the phone. I said "I will wait until you are finished". She looked shocked, she looked at me and slowly put the phone on the table beside her.
I said "I wanted to talk about Dr. xyz, and how she was looking at her phone constantly during our session on Monday.....". What I didn't need to say was that you were just doing the exact same thing...maybe I should be drug testing you both because I think you are tripping!
After she got it together she managed to tell me that I have issues with the phone so it is a trigger for me. No it is not a GD trigger for me, it is rude. I am paying you for one thing, your time and attention.(ok I didn't say that, yet).I did say that I had realized that it was not my problem if the psychiatrist had 2 young kids and was busy (which is what I was told was the reason she screws up appointments). Nobody's that good, and if she is maybe she should be on the seat next to Justin Bieber as they are hand carried up the Great Wall of China together.
I was much more aware today of exactly what is going on. I have found other addiction specialists (2) in the area and I am going to meet with them. I recalled today that in my session Monday with the therapist, she took a phone call from a patient, talked to the patient in front of me and ate her breakfast. I'm surprised she didn't floss. Thank you all for pulling me out of my fog!
I walk into the therapist's office on time and sit down across from her. She has HER phone on her knees. She keeps it there and glances up at me and says "how are you". I thought of everyone here, honestly you guys were like that little guy that used to sit on Fred Flinstone's shoulder. I was staring at her, because now it is occurring at me to be horrified.
I didn't say anything. She still had her phone on her knees and was looking at it and pressing buttons. She glanced up again and said "go ahead" and looked back down at the phone. I said "I will wait until you are finished". She looked shocked, she looked at me and slowly put the phone on the table beside her.
I said "I wanted to talk about Dr. xyz, and how she was looking at her phone constantly during our session on Monday.....". What I didn't need to say was that you were just doing the exact same thing...maybe I should be drug testing you both because I think you are tripping!
After she got it together she managed to tell me that I have issues with the phone so it is a trigger for me. No it is not a GD trigger for me, it is rude. I am paying you for one thing, your time and attention.(ok I didn't say that, yet).I did say that I had realized that it was not my problem if the psychiatrist had 2 young kids and was busy (which is what I was told was the reason she screws up appointments). Nobody's that good, and if she is maybe she should be on the seat next to Justin Bieber as they are hand carried up the Great Wall of China together.
I was much more aware today of exactly what is going on. I have found other addiction specialists (2) in the area and I am going to meet with them. I recalled today that in my session Monday with the therapist, she took a phone call from a patient, talked to the patient in front of me and ate her breakfast. I'm surprised she didn't floss. Thank you all for pulling me out of my fog!
Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,887
I just read this whole thread.
1. You are even more amazing than I originally thought you were. Which was a whole f:ck of a lot. YOU should be the one in the therapist seat giving advice and guiding people to their own truths.
2. They all sound like a bunch of whores. (No offense to whores) But they sound like they are all working angles and corners and people to get the most money out of the insurance companies and what they can't get from them, from you. It's called the Game. And they are playahs. Period. The fact that they are all in cahoots would be my red flag to run for the hills.
3. Did I mention, you are amazing ? Wow, what a broad.
4. I'm coming to NYC in a few weeks. I have never been before. Doing a college visit for the DD. I think I see a club soda with lime in our future.
Xoxox
1. You are even more amazing than I originally thought you were. Which was a whole f:ck of a lot. YOU should be the one in the therapist seat giving advice and guiding people to their own truths.
2. They all sound like a bunch of whores. (No offense to whores) But they sound like they are all working angles and corners and people to get the most money out of the insurance companies and what they can't get from them, from you. It's called the Game. And they are playahs. Period. The fact that they are all in cahoots would be my red flag to run for the hills.
3. Did I mention, you are amazing ? Wow, what a broad.
4. I'm coming to NYC in a few weeks. I have never been before. Doing a college visit for the DD. I think I see a club soda with lime in our future.
Xoxox
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