Tomorrow
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by 13unluckyforsom 
I stop drinking tomorrow - or else I kill myself - or I'm doomed to eternal anxiety - guilt and hatred
Realising my life
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Dorset, England
Posts: 3,656
Great to see you posting again and to know that you're ready to give it another shot.
There are still 3 months to go this year, 13, you can still make 2013 your year, the year you changed your life
You've tried so hard already, you've learnt so very much, you've given great support to others. Now's the time to put all that together.
This is YOUR time, 13. Go for it. We're with you every step of the way
There are still 3 months to go this year, 13, you can still make 2013 your year, the year you changed your life
You've tried so hard already, you've learnt so very much, you've given great support to others. Now's the time to put all that together.
This is YOUR time, 13. Go for it. We're with you every step of the way
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: North salt lake
Posts: 3,325
Rather scary you say you'll kill yourself if you don't stop. Then say you don't think you can stop. Maybe you can go see your dr and get some help. Yo can at least get something to help ease your detox? I'm worried about you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Uk
Posts: 1,190
Yeah - I'm dead in the water I think... But I know I can do better - I need to learn how it's easy to be defeatist attitude. Anyone can do that. Giving up is easy. Surviving is the long and winding road
it's easy to be defeatist attitude. Anyone can do that. Giving up is easy. Surviving is the long and winding road
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Uk
Posts: 1,190
Originally Posted by HeadLump
Great to see you posting again and to know that you're ready to give it another shot. There are still 3 months to go this year, 13, you can still make 2013 your year, the year you changed your life You've tried so hard already, you've learnt so very much, you've given great support to others. Now's the time to put all that together. This is YOUR time, 13. Go for it. We're with you every step of the way
You've tried so hard already, you've learnt so very much, you've given great support to others. Now's the time to put all that together. This is YOUR time, 13. Go for it. We're with you every step of the way Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Ah..I now understand your post on Acheleus' thread. Prayers out to ya my friend. I assume you are drinking now soooo... I'm not so sure what can get through to you.
I used to want to die on a semi-regular basis whilst still drinking. I haven't had a thought remotely like that since I sobered up.
I hope you hold on dear...I really do
I used to want to die on a semi-regular basis whilst still drinking. I haven't had a thought remotely like that since I sobered up.
I hope you hold on dear...I really do
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,126
You know, 13, I had to just surrender that alcohol and drugs had me beat. I gave up. I don't want to inject too much program speak in your thread, but it was accepting that I would drink even though I knew I had to stop that I found some peace. Alcohol was way more powerful than I was and I knew that one drink would lead to my total demise.
And at the time my demise didn't seem all that unappealing.
But that first day I found a bit of freedom in acknowledging defeat. I actually found some strength in it. I was an alcoholic and I was going to drink unless I just accepted that alcohol was way more powerful than me. So I gave up and the only way to surrender was to not drink the first drink.
And that a whole world of hurt settled in, but it was in grasping that simple fact -- that I was an alcoholic and I was going to drink -- was the beginning of my recovery.
My surrender was filled with paradox, but the one thing that arose from the ashes was that I didn't drink that day. And if all goes well and I am very diligent in my recovery, on October 15 I will have reached my third anniversary of being free from alcohol, pot and benzos.
And at the time my demise didn't seem all that unappealing.
But that first day I found a bit of freedom in acknowledging defeat. I actually found some strength in it. I was an alcoholic and I was going to drink unless I just accepted that alcohol was way more powerful than me. So I gave up and the only way to surrender was to not drink the first drink.
And that a whole world of hurt settled in, but it was in grasping that simple fact -- that I was an alcoholic and I was going to drink -- was the beginning of my recovery.
My surrender was filled with paradox, but the one thing that arose from the ashes was that I didn't drink that day. And if all goes well and I am very diligent in my recovery, on October 15 I will have reached my third anniversary of being free from alcohol, pot and benzos.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,359
13 I sent you my thoughts...tomorrow is a new day, a sober start. Think of your child...no kid should live without his/her mother. Lets form a game plan so you begin executing. You and I are the same, I am just sober...you said it yourself.
Dee is right an in patient program would be a lot safer. PM me if you need to. You can do this. Sending some pos energy your way E.
Dee is right an in patient program would be a lot safer. PM me if you need to. You can do this. Sending some pos energy your way E.
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
hey 13 you were doing so well a while ago . the journey is sometimes a bumpy one with up's and down's . Sounds like you hit a bump and landed pritty bad 
It isn't hopeless , you're here amoungst people who have simalar problems , to me it sounds like you could do with more support to help sort yourself out than just us here in the cyber world .
be gentle with yourself , m
It isn't hopeless , you're here amoungst people who have simalar problems , to me it sounds like you could do with more support to help sort yourself out than just us here in the cyber world .
be gentle with yourself , m
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