Notices

Went 10 months sober then relapsed big time.

Old 09-30-2013, 12:57 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: London
Posts: 28
Angry Went 10 months sober then relapsed big time.

I was so proud of myself that i'd managed to be sober for a relatively long period of time. I found new sober friends and life was starting to get better. My self-respect was gradually coming back and I was walking around with my head held up high.

...and then a few months ago during a stress-full period, which involved moving to a new city - I relapsed big time. I guess I just wanted to feel normal and falsely believed I needed alcohol as a social prop to meet new people, in a new environment.

Now my weekly binge drinking has pulled me back to rock bottom. Even though I don't think I will kill myself, the reoccurring suicidal feelings are almost unbearable. Also i'm scared of what I will do when I am so wasted as most of my drinking sessions end in blackouts. I just want this **** to end.

When you are sober, you really are just one drink from devastation. God I hope this can be a learning curve for me.
tpoint is offline  
Old 09-30-2013, 01:04 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Forum Leader
 
ScottFromWI's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome back Tpoint. I had a similar relapse after a relatively long period of sobriety last year. The good news is you can absolutely get back to where you were and stay sober. Perhaps you should look at a more formal method of support this time around?
ScottFromWI is offline  
Old 09-30-2013, 01:08 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: London
Posts: 28
Originally Posted by ScottFromWI View Post
Welcome back Tpoint. I had a similar relapse after a relatively long period of sobriety last year. The good news is you can absolutely get back to where you were and stay sober. Perhaps you should look at a more formal method of support this time around?
Hi Scott, when you say more formal method of support, do you mean AA or have you something else in mind?
tpoint is offline  
Old 09-30-2013, 01:12 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
PippoRossi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Planet Earth (most days)
Posts: 1,596
Oh, tpoint ****{hugs}}}. I can TOTALLY relate. The first time I got sober it was for a 9 month period of time. I planned on when I was going to start drinking, again, (during a big celebration) but thought I could moderate. That didn't work and for the next 8 months my drinking spiralled out of control much like yours did. The good news is that I got sober, again, and it's been more than one year now. If you really want this, you can do it. Read and post here often!
PippoRossi is offline  
Old 09-30-2013, 01:16 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: London
Posts: 28
Originally Posted by PippoRossi View Post
Oh, tpoint ****{hugs}}}. I can TOTALLY relate. The first time I got sober it was for a 9 month period of time. I planned on when I was going to start drinking, again, (during a big celebration) but thought I could moderate. That didn't work and for the next 8 months my drinking spiralled out of control much like yours did. The good news is that I got sober, again, and it's been more than one year now. If you really want this, you can do it. Read and post here often!
Thanks PippoRossi, it's good to hear a similar story.

I feel so ashamed and disappointed that I didn't make 12 months. I will read and try to post often. Last time, this site was an important tool to help me focus on recovery.
tpoint is offline  
Old 09-30-2013, 01:18 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,242
hey Tpoint, I relapsed after 18 mths, you aren't alone, get back on the big old ship SR x
lorelei is offline  
Old 09-30-2013, 01:19 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Faith and reason
 
Louise82's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: London
Posts: 941
Welcome back tpoint. The method of support I use happens to be AA and it's helping me learn how to manage stress but there are many other shows in town - Rational Recovery, LifeRing, SMART Recovery. There's a lot of information about the various recovery methods on the forums here. Read around and ask questions here and on the subforums dedicated to different recovery approaches.
Louise82 is offline  
Old 09-30-2013, 01:19 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Realising my life
 
HeadLump's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Dorset, England
Posts: 3,656
Originally Posted by tpoint View Post
When you are sober, you really are just one drink from devastation. God I hope this can be a learning curve for me.
Oh, Tpoint From all I've seen and read on here, this seems to be a learning curve for every alcoholic. There is no shame in it for you. The main thing to do now is to get right back on that sober horse again.

You're not alone, we are all rooting for you!
HeadLump is offline  
Old 09-30-2013, 01:21 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: London
Posts: 28
Originally Posted by lorelei View Post
hey Tpoint, I relapsed after 18 mths, you aren't alone, get back on the big old ship SR x
Thanks lorelei, do you have a plan in place to avoid the same mistake? I obviously became complacent after 10 months. I really don't want to make the same mistake twice - I don't think my sanity could take it.
tpoint is offline  
Old 09-30-2013, 01:24 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
 
jdooner's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,359
tpoint - my sponsor relapsed after 3 yrs and felt all the shame. He was in AA but never bothered to go through the steps and embraced the higher power. As Scott points out the structured programs have benefits and the numbers speak for themselves (over 50% recovery for AA). You may want to see a therapist to deal with the suicidal thoughts if they get too much...keep in mind you have been dousing your brain with a depressant after it was healing so its a shock to the system now. Help is here in many forms.
jdooner is offline  
Old 09-30-2013, 01:25 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: London
Posts: 28
Thanks Louise8 & HeadLump. I will look into SMART Recovery as that's a method i've seen crop up a few times. I've been to AA twice but unfortunately it doesn't feel the right fit for me.
tpoint is offline  
Old 09-30-2013, 01:43 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Forum Leader
 
ScottFromWI's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by tpoint View Post
Hi Scott, when you say more formal method of support, do you mean AA or have you something else in mind?
I didn't have a specific plan/program in mind, but AA could certainly be one of them. There's lots of info here about AA/NA/12 step as well as many of the Secular/Non step methods like AVRT, Life Ring, etc... What did you use to stay sober those 10 months? That's a pretty good amount of sober time.
ScottFromWI is offline  
Old 09-30-2013, 01:47 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
bona fido dog-lover
 
least's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 97,287
I credit my sobriety to the good people here and my addiction counselor. It's been working for almost four years now.
least is offline  
Old 09-30-2013, 02:14 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
 
Freebird13's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 109
It doesn't matter how long you have been sober--one day or 10 years--the chances of relapsing are there. At one time, I relapsed after 2 years of sobriety. The difference between then and now is I have a structured plan for recovery (AA). And I believe the chance of relapsing diminishes if you have a structured plan for recovery as well as a solid support network.
Freebird13 is offline  
Old 09-30-2013, 02:21 PM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Member
 
MN81713's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 217
Originally Posted by tpoint View Post
I was so proud of myself that i'd managed to be sober for a relatively long period of time. I found new sober friends and life was starting to get better. My self-respect was gradually coming back and I was walking around with my head held up high.

...and then a few months ago during a stress-full period, which involved moving to a new city - I relapsed big time. I guess I just wanted to feel normal and falsely believed I needed alcohol as a social prop to meet new people, in a new environment.

Now my weekly binge drinking has pulled me back to rock bottom. Even though I don't think I will kill myself, the reoccurring suicidal feelings are almost unbearable. Also i'm scared of what I will do when I am so wasted as most of my drinking sessions end in blackouts. I just want this **** to end.

When you are sober, you really are just one drink from devastation. God I hope this can be a learning curve for me.
Wow, that many months and still a pull?? I still have to give u Congrats on your time...I am still trying to figure out how to get to 30 days, obviously, don't have much advice, but you did it for that long and that deserves a
MN81713 is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:05 AM.