Went 10 months sober then relapsed big time. I was so proud of myself that i'd managed to be sober for a relatively long period of time. I found new sober friends and life was starting to get better. My self-respect was gradually coming back and I was walking around with my head held up high. ...and then a few months ago during a stress-full period, which involved moving to a new city - I relapsed big time. I guess I just wanted to feel normal and falsely believed I needed alcohol as a social prop to meet new people, in a new environment. Now my weekly binge drinking has pulled me back to rock bottom. Even though I don't think I will kill myself, the reoccurring suicidal feelings are almost unbearable. Also i'm scared of what I will do when I am so wasted as most of my drinking sessions end in blackouts. I just want this **** to end. When you are sober, you really are just one drink from devastation. God I hope this can be a learning curve for me. |
Welcome back Tpoint. I had a similar relapse after a relatively long period of sobriety last year. The good news is you can absolutely get back to where you were and stay sober. Perhaps you should look at a more formal method of support this time around? |
Originally Posted by ScottFromWI
(Post 4210949)
Welcome back Tpoint. I had a similar relapse after a relatively long period of sobriety last year. The good news is you can absolutely get back to where you were and stay sober. Perhaps you should look at a more formal method of support this time around? |
Oh, tpoint ****{hugs}}}. I can TOTALLY relate. The first time I got sober it was for a 9 month period of time. I planned on when I was going to start drinking, again, (during a big celebration) but thought I could moderate. That didn't work and for the next 8 months my drinking spiralled out of control much like yours did. The good news is that I got sober, again, and it's been more than one year now. If you really want this, you can do it. Read and post here often! |
Originally Posted by PippoRossi
(Post 4210970)
Oh, tpoint ****{hugs}}}. I can TOTALLY relate. The first time I got sober it was for a 9 month period of time. I planned on when I was going to start drinking, again, (during a big celebration) but thought I could moderate. That didn't work and for the next 8 months my drinking spiralled out of control much like yours did. The good news is that I got sober, again, and it's been more than one year now. If you really want this, you can do it. Read and post here often! I feel so ashamed and disappointed that I didn't make 12 months. I will read and try to post often. Last time, this site was an important tool to help me focus on recovery. |
hey Tpoint, I relapsed after 18 mths, you aren't alone, get back on the big old ship SR x |
Welcome back tpoint. The method of support I use happens to be AA and it's helping me learn how to manage stress but there are many other shows in town - Rational Recovery, LifeRing, SMART Recovery. There's a lot of information about the various recovery methods on the forums here. Read around and ask questions here and on the subforums dedicated to different recovery approaches. |
Originally Posted by tpoint
(Post 4210937)
When you are sober, you really are just one drink from devastation. God I hope this can be a learning curve for me. You're not alone, we are all rooting for you! :):):) |
Originally Posted by lorelei
(Post 4210980)
hey Tpoint, I relapsed after 18 mths, you aren't alone, get back on the big old ship SR x |
tpoint - my sponsor relapsed after 3 yrs and felt all the shame. He was in AA but never bothered to go through the steps and embraced the higher power. As Scott points out the structured programs have benefits and the numbers speak for themselves (over 50% recovery for AA). You may want to see a therapist to deal with the suicidal thoughts if they get too much...keep in mind you have been dousing your brain with a depressant after it was healing so its a shock to the system now. Help is here in many forms. |
Thanks Louise8 & HeadLump. I will look into SMART Recovery as that's a method i've seen crop up a few times. I've been to AA twice but unfortunately it doesn't feel the right fit for me. |
Originally Posted by tpoint
(Post 4210958)
Hi Scott, when you say more formal method of support, do you mean AA or have you something else in mind? |
I credit my sobriety to the good people here and my addiction counselor. It's been working for almost four years now.:) |
It doesn't matter how long you have been sober--one day or 10 years--the chances of relapsing are there. At one time, I relapsed after 2 years of sobriety. The difference between then and now is I have a structured plan for recovery (AA). And I believe the chance of relapsing diminishes if you have a structured plan for recovery as well as a solid support network. |
Originally Posted by tpoint
(Post 4210937)
I was so proud of myself that i'd managed to be sober for a relatively long period of time. I found new sober friends and life was starting to get better. My self-respect was gradually coming back and I was walking around with my head held up high. ...and then a few months ago during a stress-full period, which involved moving to a new city - I relapsed big time. I guess I just wanted to feel normal and falsely believed I needed alcohol as a social prop to meet new people, in a new environment. Now my weekly binge drinking has pulled me back to rock bottom. Even though I don't think I will kill myself, the reoccurring suicidal feelings are almost unbearable. Also i'm scared of what I will do when I am so wasted as most of my drinking sessions end in blackouts. I just want this **** to end. When you are sober, you really are just one drink from devastation. God I hope this can be a learning curve for me. |
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