Sobriety = Decreased Libido?
 

Am I the only one? It's worrying me.

well, we all know alcohol makes us less inhibited. if you were previously only engaging in sexual activities while drunk it may be a confidence issue?

also, if you are on any medications, i know those can decrease arousal as well.

finally, i have heard many people on here say that sobriety has to be the most important priority in the early days. perhaps you are just so focused on staying sober that other non-essential pleasures are being put on hold. it sounds like they come back with time though, as you become more stable in your sober life.

good luck!

I'm with ya phoenix. Had scary thought just this past weekend. Wondered if my motivation for sex was more approval seeking behaviour rather than actually enjoying the act. My last relationship (and ah well..so many before that) were just drunken gong shows tempered by relationship addiction. I feel fairly messed up in that respect. At almost 4 months sober..I'm not missing sex and that frightens me.

I think it goes thro phases, as we *heal* mentally, emotionally etc its natural for our hormones to shift slightly, if its been a long time that you've been drinking then of course your body will react when you take the alcohol out of the equation, I wouldn't worry too much, the more you worry the more of a issue it will be, am sure you'll soon be back up and at 'em ;)

Thanks so much for taking the time to reply everybody. I hope it's just a phase or just that I'm focused on my sobriety but I fear there may be more to it. I guess I will just have to take it day by day and hope it gets better. I've always been a highly sexual person (drinking or not) so this is a huge change for me.

How long have you been sober?

For me there was a decrease when I first sobered up, but then after about a month man it was like I was 25 again. If you are new to sobriety be patient. If you have 2 or 3 months you should see your Dr.

Hi, I've been sober just over two months. Really think I need to see a Dr? ugh.

What's a "libido" ? ;)

I'm at 6 months and my sex drive is just starting to come back. It's normal within the first year. Your body's priority is getting healthy again, not reproducing.

haha! thank you.. I needed this :o)

+1

Jess

lol, maybe he just wants to enjoy sex?

Not sure how long you have been sober Phoenix, but I find the desire is perhaps a tad less frequent, but the quality is really a lot better!

There can be an issue that can arise in sobriety as a so called 'paws' symptom called anhedonia, which is the inability to take pleasure from things that ordinarily most of us do. It is just possible you are experiencing that, but if so my reading is that it passes.

Heh. I was being a bit tongue in cheek. :)

My libido was decreased when I was still drinking. After I quit it stayed pretty low until after 5 weeks or so sober. Then it came back quite suddenly... :)

theres so many things I could say to that (digdug) but as I'm a lady, I wont ;)

Is it just me that would love it if my libido decreased...? That thing only led to trouble.

It'll return. And... it will be better than before. More intense and more exciting.

Hi Phoenix, I think there is a definite and complex interconnection between libido and alcohol. It can work in different ways for different people. For men, alcohol can reduce inhibitions and make them think they are a sex god, but the reality is that alcohol is physically bad for sexual performance with men. Things just don't work as well as they should when your drunk. For women, it seems a bit different. My experience is that they get the inhibition from alcohol, but maybe less dysfunction. Finally age is a factor. The older you are, the bigger the negative alcohol impact in my view. Full disclosure: I'm a 56 year old male. It's part of the passage. We have to wait a bit more, I think. But talking to a good doctor is never a bad idea.

I think part of the issue is not just the lowering of inhibitions with alcohol, but also the low lever craving without. Lots of folks complain about being "tired" or "having no energy" in early recovery and this is because they don't have the nervous energy and anxiety associated with "craving". This craving feeling sometimes makes us feel more "driven" including sexually as a way to satisfy the craving for alcohol. Having been a binge drinker I would find that after overcoming the initial illness after a binge I would become for a period of time on edge. Sex was a predominate obsession and physical urge. I attribute this to part of the secondary withdrawal. It will balance out eventually and things will be normal. You may not "crave" sex, but have a healthy sexual outlook. Exercise does wonders for everything. This will get us quicker to where we need to be and help keep us there IMHO.