cant get passed 2 days
cant get passed 2 days
i also know i have set myself up for this. My husband has told me he cant carry on with me lying to him or daughter.
He also said, i cant keep lying to myself. I know what i have posted before on here, i also know that i have black moments when drinking.
Just dont know what to do with kicking the 2 day problem!
It is now causing problems due to i called in sick at work yesterday.
He says i am smarter and is stronger than him, but i dont feel it just now!
Finding the will to keep going is so hard, even though im working. I dont even look after myself or house, ive let it all fall apart.
How do i find myselff or wanting to look after myself?
sry for the bleek post.
He also said, i cant keep lying to myself. I know what i have posted before on here, i also know that i have black moments when drinking.
Just dont know what to do with kicking the 2 day problem!
It is now causing problems due to i called in sick at work yesterday.
He says i am smarter and is stronger than him, but i dont feel it just now!
Finding the will to keep going is so hard, even though im working. I dont even look after myself or house, ive let it all fall apart.
How do i find myselff or wanting to look after myself?
sry for the bleek post.
I had to want to be sober more than I wanted to drink. Don't let your mind trick you into thinking you can't make it past day 2. You can!
The longer you're sober the more clearheaded you become, as that happens, caring for yourself and home come naturally.
Alcohol had me in such a fog, everything suffered, nothing mattered, except the next drink. You need to break that cycle. Lean on SR when the urge hits or find a program for support.
Best Wishes
The longer you're sober the more clearheaded you become, as that happens, caring for yourself and home come naturally.
Alcohol had me in such a fog, everything suffered, nothing mattered, except the next drink. You need to break that cycle. Lean on SR when the urge hits or find a program for support.
Best Wishes
Thanks x that is all what i say it seems, thanks for trying to help and thanks for bothering with me.
I am sick to death of me, i know that is part of my mental illness, but god im sick of myself.
was supposed to keep of the drink today, but i never did!
I am going to lose my family regardless of me trying or whatever. I am the stage where that i know what they are saying but i think i can drink and carry on.
I have posted before and i think i can do this? I really dont know how to?
I dont know how to look after myself let alone the house, i dont know how to have an interest in something. Ive lost it all, the caring and giving a crap about myself. The other bad thing is, im using and lying to the people im supposed to luv.
I am dug deep and me keeping on trying is making me hate myself more as i dont know what to do.
i have pschotherapy at end of oct, got also some alcohol help if i just would try harder!
sry for boring u all
I am sick to death of me, i know that is part of my mental illness, but god im sick of myself.
was supposed to keep of the drink today, but i never did!
I am going to lose my family regardless of me trying or whatever. I am the stage where that i know what they are saying but i think i can drink and carry on.
I have posted before and i think i can do this? I really dont know how to?
I dont know how to look after myself let alone the house, i dont know how to have an interest in something. Ive lost it all, the caring and giving a crap about myself. The other bad thing is, im using and lying to the people im supposed to luv.
I am dug deep and me keeping on trying is making me hate myself more as i dont know what to do.
i have pschotherapy at end of oct, got also some alcohol help if i just would try harder!
sry for boring u all
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: England
Posts: 329
I am sorry you feel so down at the moment. Listen nobody said that this was going to be easy we all know it isn't but can you honestly say you have really really tried. You seem to have a lot of good things in your life and I am sure you want to keep them. I think if you have tried as hard as you are able then perhaps you need more specific help maybe DR or AA. I hate to be so negative but sometimes we all need a kick up the backside to appreciate what we are risking. Good luck
your right both x
husband is saying he cant do this anymore, last time i did give up the drink with AA help. This time i dont know what to do to make me change my mind or have more self will in doing this.
sry to cut it short, got daughter coming home and she hates me having music on.Brings out that my bpd to a point she doesnt understand.
husband is saying he cant do this anymore, last time i did give up the drink with AA help. This time i dont know what to do to make me change my mind or have more self will in doing this.
sry to cut it short, got daughter coming home and she hates me having music on.Brings out that my bpd to a point she doesnt understand.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Sweetie your self loathing is screaming all the way over here in Canada. Your inability to quit speaks to your level of addiction not your worth as a human being. Your addiction has convinced you that your world is alcohol now and that there is no joy without it. That's a difficult place. So many of us try to quit due to the disapproval and disappointment of others rather than our own desire to give up alcohol or perhaps understanding how deep we are actually into the addiction. This is a matter of escape rather than an act of self discipline. You need to realize deep inside you that your are killing yourself in every way. Your addiction is convincing you that there is no sweetness of life without it. It's a lie. It's a lie difficult to see your way out of when you are in the throes of it.
Answer honestly...can you envision a life without alcohol?
Answer honestly...can you envision a life without alcohol?
was supposed to keep of the drink today, but i never did!
For alcoholics it's not stopping drinking....it's not starting.
You CAN do this, and it actually is less exhausting than the endless pattern of mental anguish that you are putting yourself through. I wish I could remember which thread spoke to this the other day. Someone said when you think about it, you have to expend energy to drink. You have to purchase it, pour it, drink it, hide it, suffer the consequences......doesn't it make sense just to not do?
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,242
hey ((()))
you know if you could find the strength to stop, you would start to feel so much better in yourself, for yourself, then you would look after you and the house, sounds like you have put a mental block at 2 days, its time to move it and start to break the cycle, hope your dr & psych can help xx
you know if you could find the strength to stop, you would start to feel so much better in yourself, for yourself, then you would look after you and the house, sounds like you have put a mental block at 2 days, its time to move it and start to break the cycle, hope your dr & psych can help xx
Thanks Nuu, i like your directnes. Do i see myself without alcohol, i guess no.
I know that i have done so for a year, but not sure of how i did or how to now. I guess u are right its a feeling which switches me off and its a feeling of being better. You say sweetness, its like a sour sweet, due to when i drink i want it, but when it becomes to much and i become a idiot to my family its very sour.
When i have tried for first 2 days i drink so much coffee, which it gives me a diffrent buz, i know im still searching for that buz. If i could find the motivation i would be back at the gym and that itself like it did would give me that buz. At the moment i feel like crap and old and have no motivation in the house or me or anything.
I am still trying, im hoping for that kick up the bum to kick me into gear!
I know that i have done so for a year, but not sure of how i did or how to now. I guess u are right its a feeling which switches me off and its a feeling of being better. You say sweetness, its like a sour sweet, due to when i drink i want it, but when it becomes to much and i become a idiot to my family its very sour.
When i have tried for first 2 days i drink so much coffee, which it gives me a diffrent buz, i know im still searching for that buz. If i could find the motivation i would be back at the gym and that itself like it did would give me that buz. At the moment i feel like crap and old and have no motivation in the house or me or anything.
I am still trying, im hoping for that kick up the bum to kick me into gear!
Hey Erratic,
^That..
^That..
^That..
^And that..
.. are pretty much saying what I'd hope to construct in a collective statement to you.
And, you're also coming across with candor about your thoughts/feelings/actions without spin, which is praise-worthy.
You may feel down but you're certainly not out.
Originally Posted by Opivotal
The longer you're sober the more clearheaded you become, as that happens, caring for yourself and home come naturally
Originally Posted by Nuudawn
Your addiction is convincing you that there is no sweetness of life without it. It's a lie. It's a lie difficult to see your way out of when you are in the throes of it.
.. are pretty much saying what I'd hope to construct in a collective statement to you.
And, you're also coming across with candor about your thoughts/feelings/actions without spin, which is praise-worthy.
You may feel down but you're certainly not out.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Staying sober in the beginning is a herculean effort but in my mind, it is so much easier when we want to know what life is like on the other side of our addiction. I have said this a gazillion times on this forum but all I could do was commit to being sober "right now". It was (and probably still is) all I can commit to. Addiction is slavery and you need to want freedom. I too didn't know what sobriety would look like therefore I could only commit to dealing with life in the "now" and dealing with the situations as they arrived. That didn't mean I didn't prepare. I knew I always had to have an escape plan so I carried my car keys to every social event. I don't think about forever erratic..there is no need to. I will tell you something though...my now is sooooooooooooo much better than it used to be. I am not mopping up personal disasters on a regular basis. I am making progress as I can start each day where I left off the day before rather than spinning and scrambling to sort out what I did the night before. When drinking I was either in reverse or at a freakin standstill. Thinking about the future or past only serves to give me anxiety or makes me prone to "magical thinking" and thoughts like "I will be happy when...". Doesn't work for me. Staying sober in your now is a continuous adventure and enough to get your adrenaline pumping. Yes, there are moments when you are trying to burn your way through your now...rather than being present to it...and it eats you up...and well, I get kind of lost when I get out of my now.
Don't burn your way through the moments of life. The clock is ticking. Be here..be in it...open your eyes..it's not that bad. In fact, it's really freaking lovely.
Don't burn your way through the moments of life. The clock is ticking. Be here..be in it...open your eyes..it's not that bad. In fact, it's really freaking lovely.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
For Erratic: It seems to me it's time to start looking into long-term (at least twenty eight days), inpatient treatment. Sounds like there's no place else for you to turn.
There's some great advice here Erratic.
If you're finding irt tough to do battle on your own, find some help - even if you find it hard to believe it will help, or that you're worthy of it - those kinds of thoughts are your illness talking.
If you need help with your alcoholism find it. If you need help with the bpd find help there too - I know appointments are hard to come by but there must be numbers to call or something?
Bipolar Scotland | With you through the highs and lows
Bipolar Help and Support Group in Aberdeen - Bipolar Aberdeen
http://www.aberdeeninmind.org/bipola...en_leaflet.pdf
D
If you're finding irt tough to do battle on your own, find some help - even if you find it hard to believe it will help, or that you're worthy of it - those kinds of thoughts are your illness talking.
If you need help with your alcoholism find it. If you need help with the bpd find help there too - I know appointments are hard to come by but there must be numbers to call or something?
Bipolar Scotland | With you through the highs and lows
Bipolar Help and Support Group in Aberdeen - Bipolar Aberdeen
http://www.aberdeeninmind.org/bipola...en_leaflet.pdf
D
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 664
Erratic - It's such a shame that you cave in at day 2, because if you can just get past day 3, things get a WHOLE lot better How about having another go and just making those extra 24 hours? You'll be amazed at how much better you feel x
Thanks to the new posts above.
I am doing my day 1 today.
Thanks dee for the links, i think maybe i never actually said what BPD i have, its not bipoler its borderline personality disorder i have hun. Again thanks for listening to me you and everyong. huggles to everyone.
I am doing my day 1 today.
Thanks dee for the links, i think maybe i never actually said what BPD i have, its not bipoler its borderline personality disorder i have hun. Again thanks for listening to me you and everyong. huggles to everyone.
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