View Poll Results: What date do you use for your Sober Date?
First day of no drinking
Last day of drinking
Voters: 262. You may not vote on this poll

Date of Sobriety

Old 09-29-2013, 11:35 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 2,126
Cool Date of Sobriety

When I was new to recovery, in AA, and elsewhere, everyone I knew (and know today) used (uses) the first day (at least) of no drinking as their DOS; Date of Sobriety; Sober Date.

Since being online, I have 'met' many folks who use the last day of their drinking as their sober date. I don't know, but for me, and the recovered folks with whom I've spoken, we just couldn't find a way to justify the day of our last drink (even if it was only one drink) as our sober date.

A non-alcoholic can have drink and be sober, but us folks, even with one drink, would not consider ourselves sober (we might not be drunk, but we definitely would not be sober).

Could some folks here explain how one can use the date of his/her last drink as their sober date..............

NoelleR is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to NoelleR For This Useful Post:
CAPTAINZING2000 (03-18-2015), Coldfusion (10-14-2015), Steely (02-18-2016), stephnc (09-30-2013)
Old 09-30-2013, 12:38 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
That bell or bike person
mecanix's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,985
Blog Entries: 12
After 2 years sober , day 5 or 6 it's the same to me .... it's an achievement when we go through it ourselves but i'm not the one going through it , if what someone else were doing was causing me resentments over day counts i'd be asking myself what the problem "really" is with me ..

bestwishes, m
mecanix is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to mecanix For This Useful Post:
Delilah1 (02-19-2016), SkyeSea (09-30-2013), stephnc (09-30-2013)
Old 09-30-2013, 01:49 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Dee74's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 187,945
Blog Entries: 1
OK cards on the table time.

for years I've celebrated my sober day as April 6th.

For many years tho I was unsure about that day because I'm sure I finished off the dregs of a bottle of beer on waking up that morning...I was pretty messed up with other health issues at the time, but unless I dreamt it, I drank it....and it was beer. sobriety date fluctuated for a few years....

Eventually I stuck with the April 6th date - not because that gives me an extra day or anything but because, to me, that was the day I left my old life behind and I started my new life...April 7th 2007 means nothing to me.

If people want to consider my date is April 7th I'm fine with that - if they want to consider I'm a liar or a cheat, and/or unworthy to share my experience I'm ok with that too....I sleep pretty well

what other people think of me is none of my business - and honestly? the same goes for me with other peoples sobriety dates

Dee74 is offline  
The Following 53 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
Acheleus (10-01-2013), Alynn (03-18-2015), Carlotta (09-30-2013), Cascabel (10-09-2017), ChloeRose63 (03-18-2015), ClearMind (03-18-2015), Coldfusion (09-30-2013), crosscountry3 (10-01-2013), DarklingSong (10-10-2017), Delilah1 (02-19-2016), Della1968 (03-18-2015), emme99 (02-18-2016), Erratic (09-30-2013), GracieLou (10-01-2013), Hats (10-09-2017), hayley86 (09-30-2013), hopepraylove (10-14-2015), hypochondriac (09-30-2013), instant (11-14-2013), IOAA2 (09-30-2013), james872 (09-30-2013), JaylaaKent (10-01-2013), jaynie04 (02-19-2016), Jupiters (03-18-2015), kadidee (09-30-2013), LadyBlue0527 (10-01-2013), Louise82 (09-30-2013), Magpie82 (10-10-2017), Mandy73 (10-08-2017), Mark75 (09-30-2013), mecanix (09-30-2013), Melina (09-30-2013), MidnightBlue (10-01-2013), MikeM (02-18-2016), PaperDolls (09-30-2013), phoebe64 (10-02-2013), PinotNOmore (11-15-2013), PippoRossi (09-30-2013), pumpkinny (03-18-2015), RiverFriend (10-01-2013), Saskia (10-14-2015), SkyeSea (09-30-2013), SnoozyQ (10-01-2013), Snufkin (10-09-2017), soberhawk (09-30-2013), Soberpotamus (10-14-2015), stargazer016 (02-18-2016), Steely (02-18-2016), stephnc (09-30-2013), Stride34 (09-30-2013), workingonwishes (09-30-2013), Zufrieden (02-18-2016)
Old 09-30-2013, 02:58 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
hypochondriac's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,663
I'm not sure it matters all that much. It is one of the reasons I like the Rational Recovery approach to sobriety dates... why would you count the days of something you don't do anymore? Alot of people struggle thinking things won't be better til they reach x amount of days/years... and then someone comes along and tells them they need to reset their date for whatever reason... it can be really demoralising. People who are honestly trying to stay sober will be honest with themselves. For me, my sobriety date is significant because it is the date I decided to live, by choice, rather than systematically destroying myself. It's like my birthday to me now But if others don't use the same approach as me I won't get upset about it.
hypochondriac is offline  
The Following 12 Users Say Thank You to hypochondriac For This Useful Post:
BikerAcct (09-30-2013), DarklingSong (10-10-2017), Delilah1 (02-19-2016), Fandy (10-01-2013), Grateful11 (10-14-2015), lynnmarie123 (02-18-2016), MindfulMan (10-08-2017), PinotNOmore (11-15-2013), PurePoison (09-30-2013), SkyeSea (09-30-2013), stephengb (10-09-2017), stephnc (09-30-2013)
Old 09-30-2013, 04:18 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,242
my last day of drinking, was the last day I drank so I wasn't sober, so 31st Aug was the last day I drank alcohol, and 1st Sept is my first day of being sober x
lorelei is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to lorelei For This Useful Post:
Bird615 (09-30-2013), Delilah1 (02-19-2016), MelindaFlowers (03-18-2015), SkyeSea (09-30-2013)
Old 09-30-2013, 05:32 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
No half measures
wakko's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: State of Confusion
Posts: 424
One day or the other really makes no diference in a life time of sobriety
wakko is offline  
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to wakko For This Useful Post:
Delilah1 (02-19-2016), hopepraylove (10-14-2015), Johnston (10-01-2013), SkyeSea (09-30-2013), stephengb (10-09-2017), stephnc (09-30-2013), uncorked (03-01-2016)
Old 09-30-2013, 06:56 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Say cheese!
Erratic's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Scotland
Posts: 2,031
Blog Entries: 11
To me is when u feel right, and then the date starts from then, but then if u lasp i dont think u should go back to first day either. I would rather go by how many sober days or whatever than keep on going back. Me again i try and try again.
Erratic is offline  
Old 09-30-2013, 07:15 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Mark75's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
What Dee said. Exactly.
Mark75 is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Mark75 For This Useful Post:
Delilah1 (02-19-2016), GracieLou (10-01-2013), mecanix (09-30-2013), stargazer016 (02-18-2016)
Old 09-30-2013, 08:09 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Deckard's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 440
Interesting poll, and I agree with the consensus that it does not matter in the slightest. Whatever works for you...

For me, I use November 4, 2012 because this was the date I made the decision and the irrevocable commitment to sobriety and began the journey. November 5 was the first full day without drinking, but the "break with the past" or (as it turned out) "big plan" happened on the 4th, so that's the day I go with.

Similarly, I celebrate my anniversary on the day I got married, not the first "full day" of being married...

All's well that ends well!
Deckard is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Deckard For This Useful Post:
Delilah1 (02-19-2016), stephnc (09-30-2013)
Old 09-30-2013, 10:47 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Spain
Posts: 92
It is a mathematic question. January 4 was my last day of drinking. So january 5 was day 1 for me, and january 6 was day 2 (6-4), january 7 was day 3 (7-4)...
Michelangelo is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Michelangelo For This Useful Post:
Delilah1 (02-19-2016)
Old 09-30-2013, 10:47 AM
  # 11 (permalink)  
stephnc's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 438
I think the emphasis on sobriety dates is ridiculous. I went to rehab in April of 2012, and I've had one major relapse (January 2013) and then two smaller 'slips' a few months after that. As of now, it's probably been at least five or six months...I don't even remember what month I had my last drink, much less the exact date. The point is that I'm sober TODAY, and I have quite a few '24' hours leading up to today. Why focus on the past?
stephnc is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to stephnc For This Useful Post:
Delilah1 (02-19-2016), Grateful11 (10-14-2015), Johnston (10-01-2013), MindfulMan (10-08-2017), StressedMum (10-01-2013), uncorked (03-01-2016)
Old 09-30-2013, 11:00 AM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Mars
Posts: 296
First day of not drinking for me. But if someone else wants to look at it differently, fine by me. Like Dee described for example.

It doesn't really matter to me. In the beginning it is fun to count the days, but later on it's not that important. The important part is the sobriety.

I quit Aug. 15th. My last drink was the night before. So including that day, counting to this day it is my 47th day. But this day isn't over yet, so I haven't been sober for a full 47 days. AND... Oct. 15th I will call it 2 months. But counting the days that will be day 32. And if you consider still being drunk after 12 PM of the day you took your last drink "not being sober", then the day after that counts. And if you drink until 2 AM and then quit and call the day you wake up your sober date, given that you didn't sleep over 22 hours, you are technically incorrect. IF you go by the definition of the day that you first didn't drink that is. On the other hand, if you chose the second option of the poll, you would be correct. And then there leap years...

That whole paragraph was meant to be tongue in cheek.

Point is, count if you want to. Count however you want to. Whatever works for you. The important part is the sobriety. And it's handy to have an approximate date if your doc needs to know or something like that.

It's just a personal thing.
james872 is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to james872 For This Useful Post:
Delilah1 (02-19-2016), Magpie82 (10-10-2017), stephnc (09-30-2013)
Old 09-30-2013, 11:42 AM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Grungehead's Avatar
Join Date: May 2013
Location: NC
Posts: 1,760
Blog Entries: 1
To me my sobriety date is kind of like my birthday, I don't think about it every day but it is a significant date to me personally. I have also had two open heart surgeries and I remember both of those dates as well. When I was married me and my wife celebrated our wedding anniversary every year. I think most people like to remember and celebrate important times in their life by remembering the date that it occurred, and I look at my sobriety date as one of those times.

BTW I celebrate my sobriety date as April 17th, which was the first day I didn't take a drink from the time I woke up (I don't remember if I drank past midnight the day before???). On April 16th I went to my outpatient treatment assessment appointment (had 3 beers on the 30 minute drive there), and when I got home from the appointment I kept drinking until I went to sleep / passed out. I haven't had a drink since then.
Grungehead is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Grungehead For This Useful Post:
Delilah1 (02-19-2016)
Old 09-30-2013, 11:43 AM
  # 14 (permalink)  
soberhawk's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Scandinavia
Posts: 1,345
Blog Entries: 3
I hoping to stay sober long enough that a day plus minus will be of no importance and my last drink is a faint memory of the past.
soberhawk is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to soberhawk For This Useful Post:
Delilah1 (02-19-2016), hypochondriac (10-02-2013), Steely (02-18-2016)
Old 09-30-2013, 02:15 PM
  # 15 (permalink)  
stephnc's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 438
I was talking about this with a friend (someone I met in AA) this afternoon, and I remembered that it was definitely April when I last drank. That's a good point about knowing that date for medical purposes, James.

And in the interest of full disclosure, I think a big part of why I don't like the whole 'sobriety date' idea is that when I was in AA, I picked up more than one white chip...and had more than a few 'sobriety dates.' I hated that, it was discouraging and embarrassing to me. Once I quit AA and could deal with my drinking/not drinking/slips without the whole public embarrassment element, I was much more successful at getting and staying sober. When I drank in April, I dealt with it privately - which is just what works best for me.
stephnc is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to stephnc For This Useful Post:
Delilah1 (02-19-2016), Steely (02-18-2016), uncorked (03-01-2016)
Old 09-30-2013, 02:29 PM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Dee74's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 187,945
Blog Entries: 1
I don't believe sobriety dates were ever meant to be a competitive sport, or bandied about like cudgels.

Kinda weird how that happens.

Dee74 is offline  
The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
Delilah1 (02-19-2016), Done4today (11-21-2016), Grateful11 (10-14-2015), lorelei (10-01-2013), mecanix (11-15-2013), MindfulMan (10-08-2017), phoebe64 (10-02-2013), SkyeSea (09-30-2013), Steely (02-18-2016), stephnc (09-30-2013)
Old 09-30-2013, 03:16 PM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Behold the power of NO
Carlotta's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,479
Mine is my first day sober but I definitely get Dee's perspective about the meaningful date being the turning point.
What is truly cool and important is that we are all sober TODAY
Carlotta is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Carlotta For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (09-30-2013), Delilah1 (02-19-2016), Steely (02-18-2016), stephnc (09-30-2013)
Old 09-30-2013, 03:56 PM
  # 18 (permalink)  
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: WI
Posts: 1,426
Dee is right, I love the way he explains things! Anyway, what about the opiate people, the very brave ones who desires sobriety, but, the Dr. or therapist/clinic puts them on a maintenance drug, Methadone, Suboxone, etc? Is this considered a sober date? Just wondering, not looking to stir up things. Thanks TF
Twofish is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Twofish For This Useful Post:
Delilah1 (02-19-2016), Steely (02-18-2016)
Old 09-30-2013, 04:18 PM
  # 19 (permalink)  
longbeachone's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Long Beach, CA
Posts: 706
Blog Entries: 9
I quit the night the Academy Awards were on. I know I should count from the next day, but I remember that night so clearly. The next few weeks during early sobriety are kind of a blur. That's just me, everyone's different.
longbeachone is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to longbeachone For This Useful Post:
Delilah1 (02-19-2016)
Old 09-30-2013, 04:34 PM
  # 20 (permalink)  
ZeldaFan's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,473
I asked this question a few weeks back and got mixed results as well. For me, I decided to go with my first day without drinking but to each their own!
ZeldaFan is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to ZeldaFan For This Useful Post:
Delilah1 (02-19-2016), SkyeSea (09-30-2013)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:12 PM.