davidw86

Hi all, I've been sober for just under 3 months now but I'm really starting to struggle! Thought it would get easier at this point. It's still very early for me and I'm still trying to adjust to this massive life change as alcohol was a major part (unfortunately).
Does anyone have any tips or advice on getting through those low points?

Any help would be much appreciated.

awuh1

The three to four month mark was a difficult time for me. I finally found one thing that got me through it.

This may sound difficult to believe and you may want to reject this idea outright. Just consider it. When I am in this state I need to change my focus away from how I feel and focus on how someone else feels. Sounds crazy ha? The thing is it works.

Find someone who is in a bad way and help them. Help them in some substantial way. The best method of doing this involves helping a person in a way that involves them being completely unable to identify you as the person who helped. Then never, ever let it be known, to anyone that you did this.

Before you dismiss the idea try it. Then you can dismiss it. Bet you a nickel you won’t.

SlightlyOff

This is very interesting -- when I was active in AA I did try to help newcomers regularly. I also led meetings. But then, I got disullusioned by "clubhouse politics" and gradually stopped going. I know the only way to really help an addict in recovery is through AA, but do you also mean helping someone with other issues that aren't addiction related?

Like driving for meals on wheels or volunteering at a nursing home? Or just actively looking for people who need help in some way?

The part about never letting them know sounds a little difficult to me. I mean difficult as in a practical way. Does it involve sending people food or money anonymously? I'm just trying to imagine how it works.

Dee74

Hi davidw86

have you made any other changes to your life besides just not drinking?

I found it pretty tough to lead my old drinking life as a sober guy - I needed a life that better reflected the new me?

D

hypochondriac

Hey David. I found the 3 month mark really tough. I went a little nuts at that point. I was far enough away from my last drink to start doubting my alcoholism and start feeling less stable in my recovery. I went to AA but, because of social anxiety and worries that I wouldn't fit in, it wasn't the great calmer that I hoped it would be, though it helped just being in a room full of others that understood. I also got some one on one support from an alcohol addiction agency (I am sure you'll have them in Glasgow too). That was really helpful but at one point they switched my keyworker without telling me and it threw me a lot. I wasn't really fit to be around people at that stage, I was angry a lot of the time and if I ever spoke to anyone about my drinking I would start crying (I was very careful not to talk to people in AA). I am not saying this to freak you out. I just want you to know that however you feel, it's probably completely normal and will pass in time and with support. I am not sure if the way I felt improved because of something I did or if it was just the passage of time but I started getting a lot more sane after the 8 month mark. If I had any advice, I think a lot of my drama was caused by doubt, so just accept it and do what you need to do to recover. Don't contemplate alcohol too much. Hope you find things get easier for you soon, but if not SR is always here for support x

awuh1

Slightlyoff, I could tell you how I have done it but to a certain extent I think this defeats at least part of the purpose. Part of what makes this exercise in selflessness so special is figuring out exactly how to do it. It’s not always easy to figure out, but when you come up with a creative way it’s like …. Well you’ll see. 

davidw86

I think I've changed more of my life than my drinking habits but its hard to tell as i drank quite a lot in my house. The only real difference I noticed is that I work more and have a bit of money in my pocket which never happened when I was drinking. I've been trying to set myself goals to save for, like getting enough money to buy a dirt bike. I'm hoping the bike will keep me occupied when I'd usually be drinking but I still have a long way to go saving wise, so its trying to fill that void in between. I was thinking of AA but not really sure if thats the right path for me but I'm open to try anything if I'm still struggling in a couple of months.
Thanks for the advice everyone

SkyeSea

Is a dirt bike the same as a mountain bike, or something else?

heath480

If you are beginning to struggle David,you could take a look at AA meetings,just go and listen,you may find them helpful.There are plenty of meetings in Glasgow.