Mistaken Beliefs about Relapse
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 987
EQ, thanks so much for the very useful and informative post! And everyone else for the follow-on discussion.
I tend to fall pretty strongly into the camp that relapse is NOT part of recovery but part of addiction. I also don't think that you have "lost" everything you have learned in sobriety when you relapse. I think, hope, learning is going on most of the time.
However.
For me, and only for me, when I first started on the recovery journey the single most depressing thing I encountered were people saying, "Relapse is part of recovery." It made me think, "Then what the eff is the point?" I don't think someone should be drawn and quartered for relapsing and I have gained so much knowledge and insight from the posts of those who have on SR. But I do think when people minimize relapses or are not pushed to think about why/how they relapsed and what they can do differently next time...well, not a lot of learning or recovery going on there. To my mind.
For me, I cannot even begin to entertain the thought that relapse is part of recovery. Relapse is giving into my addiction again. Consciously or unconsciously.
Thanks again for the post!!
I tend to fall pretty strongly into the camp that relapse is NOT part of recovery but part of addiction. I also don't think that you have "lost" everything you have learned in sobriety when you relapse. I think, hope, learning is going on most of the time.
However.
For me, and only for me, when I first started on the recovery journey the single most depressing thing I encountered were people saying, "Relapse is part of recovery." It made me think, "Then what the eff is the point?" I don't think someone should be drawn and quartered for relapsing and I have gained so much knowledge and insight from the posts of those who have on SR. But I do think when people minimize relapses or are not pushed to think about why/how they relapsed and what they can do differently next time...well, not a lot of learning or recovery going on there. To my mind.
For me, I cannot even begin to entertain the thought that relapse is part of recovery. Relapse is giving into my addiction again. Consciously or unconsciously.
Thanks again for the post!!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 2,126
Yup, I do take exception to a few of these mistaken beliefs (or perhaps just their counterparts)....................: [1; 2; 3; 7; and 9]
1) "Relapse comes on suddenly and without warning".
The relapse process begins long before alcohol or drug use starts. The relapse process is often triggered by the pain and discomfort of being sober.
2) "So long as you do not use alcohol or drugs, you are recovering." Abstinence is only a prerequisite to recovery. It is not recovery. It is switching from a lifestyle centered around drinking and using, to a lifestyle centered around healthy living.
3) "Relapse occurs because people drop out of treatment or stop going to AA meetings."
Most people stop going to treatment or AA because they are already in the process of relapse. Discontinuing treatment and AA is often the result of the relapse process rather than the cause.
7) "When people relapse, it means they have not hit bottom yet and that they need more pain."
Many people prone to relapse have hit bottom. They may make the decision to stop drinking, but the pain of so-briety may be so intense that it can interfere with the ability to stay sober.
9) "Thinking about relapse will bring it about."
Ignoring the possibility of relapse is more likely to bring it about. Those who acknowledge the possibility and think about how it is apt to occur can take action to prevent it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okey-dokey now. Plz realize that these are just my opinions; just like the list of beliefs (mistaken or not) is just the opinion of Terence Gorski.
1) "Relapse comes on suddenly and without warning".
The relapse process begins long before alcohol or drug use starts. The relapse process is often triggered by the pain and discomfort of being sober.
2) "So long as you do not use alcohol or drugs, you are recovering." Abstinence is only a prerequisite to recovery. It is not recovery. It is switching from a lifestyle centered around drinking and using, to a lifestyle centered around healthy living.
3) "Relapse occurs because people drop out of treatment or stop going to AA meetings."
Most people stop going to treatment or AA because they are already in the process of relapse. Discontinuing treatment and AA is often the result of the relapse process rather than the cause.
7) "When people relapse, it means they have not hit bottom yet and that they need more pain."
Many people prone to relapse have hit bottom. They may make the decision to stop drinking, but the pain of so-briety may be so intense that it can interfere with the ability to stay sober.
9) "Thinking about relapse will bring it about."
Ignoring the possibility of relapse is more likely to bring it about. Those who acknowledge the possibility and think about how it is apt to occur can take action to prevent it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okey-dokey now. Plz realize that these are just my opinions; just like the list of beliefs (mistaken or not) is just the opinion of Terence Gorski.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 2,126
System crashed + sent post before I finished, and wouldn't let me update. So, here's the post in its entirety.....................
Yup, I do take exception to a few of these mistaken beliefs (or perhaps just their counterparts)....................: [1; 2; 3; 7; and 9]
1) "Relapse comes on suddenly and without warning".
The relapse process begins long before alcohol or drug use starts. The relapse process is often triggered by the pain and discomfort of being sober.
2) "So long as you do not use alcohol or drugs, you are recovering." Abstinence is only a prerequisite to recovery. It is not recovery. It is switching from a lifestyle centered around drinking and using, to a lifestyle centered around healthy living.
3) "Relapse occurs because people drop out of treatment or stop going to AA meetings."
Most people stop going to treatment or AA because they are already in the process of relapse. Discontinuing treatment and AA is often the result of the relapse process rather than the cause.
7) "When people relapse, it means they have not hit bottom yet and that they need more pain."
Many people prone to relapse have hit bottom. They may make the decision to stop drinking, but the pain of so-briety may be so intense that it can interfere with the ability to stay sober.
9) "Thinking about relapse will bring it about."
Ignoring the possibility of relapse is more likely to bring it about. Those who acknowledge the possibility and think about how it is apt to occur can take action to prevent it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okey-dokey now. Plz realize that these are just my opinions; just like the list of beliefs (mistaken or not) is just the opinion of Terence Gorski.
1) I agree with Gorski's opinion for the mistaken belief, however......the only trigger I know of is Roy Roger's horse. ...and 'the pain and discomfort of being sober.........?' Maybe the pain and discomfort one feels in life itself, but not from being sober
2) Recovery is one of those subjective terms. If a person wants to believe that he/she has recovery with abstinence only, he/she gottit. I don't get to define the term 'recovery' for anybody but myself.
3) I only disagree with his reasoning. I can't comment on leaving treatment, but most of the recovered folks I know no longer attend AA meetings.
7) Again, the author speaks of 'the pain of sobriety.' I just feel it's the pain one may feel in life itself, not sobriety specifically.
9) I'm a firm believer in the old adage 'As a man thinketh.' When I got sober, I got sober for good and all (forever, to never drink again); there was no thought of relapse, no possibility, wasn't gonna happen.........I couldn't see living in the fear of the possibility of relapse.
Just my thoughts......worth just as much as the authors (no more/no less)
(o:
NoelleR
Yup, I do take exception to a few of these mistaken beliefs (or perhaps just their counterparts)....................: [1; 2; 3; 7; and 9]
1) "Relapse comes on suddenly and without warning".
The relapse process begins long before alcohol or drug use starts. The relapse process is often triggered by the pain and discomfort of being sober.
2) "So long as you do not use alcohol or drugs, you are recovering." Abstinence is only a prerequisite to recovery. It is not recovery. It is switching from a lifestyle centered around drinking and using, to a lifestyle centered around healthy living.
3) "Relapse occurs because people drop out of treatment or stop going to AA meetings."
Most people stop going to treatment or AA because they are already in the process of relapse. Discontinuing treatment and AA is often the result of the relapse process rather than the cause.
7) "When people relapse, it means they have not hit bottom yet and that they need more pain."
Many people prone to relapse have hit bottom. They may make the decision to stop drinking, but the pain of so-briety may be so intense that it can interfere with the ability to stay sober.
9) "Thinking about relapse will bring it about."
Ignoring the possibility of relapse is more likely to bring it about. Those who acknowledge the possibility and think about how it is apt to occur can take action to prevent it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okey-dokey now. Plz realize that these are just my opinions; just like the list of beliefs (mistaken or not) is just the opinion of Terence Gorski.
1) I agree with Gorski's opinion for the mistaken belief, however......the only trigger I know of is Roy Roger's horse. ...and 'the pain and discomfort of being sober.........?' Maybe the pain and discomfort one feels in life itself, but not from being sober
2) Recovery is one of those subjective terms. If a person wants to believe that he/she has recovery with abstinence only, he/she gottit. I don't get to define the term 'recovery' for anybody but myself.
3) I only disagree with his reasoning. I can't comment on leaving treatment, but most of the recovered folks I know no longer attend AA meetings.
7) Again, the author speaks of 'the pain of sobriety.' I just feel it's the pain one may feel in life itself, not sobriety specifically.
9) I'm a firm believer in the old adage 'As a man thinketh.' When I got sober, I got sober for good and all (forever, to never drink again); there was no thought of relapse, no possibility, wasn't gonna happen.........I couldn't see living in the fear of the possibility of relapse.
Just my thoughts......worth just as much as the authors (no more/no less)
(o:
NoelleR
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: PA and Florida
Posts: 4,179
I agree with whoever said that they are 100% in control of weather or not to take a drink. For me, it was simple, each time I went on a run I made the decision on that day that I wanted to drink more than I didn't want to drink.
After I took that first drink, then the period would vary, but always the progressive nature of this disease I have would catapult my personal destruction to higher levels. Yes, I would become powerless to stop until...hey, that's for another day.
Bottom line, my power and control was overtaken and relinquished by that first sip.
After I took that first drink, then the period would vary, but always the progressive nature of this disease I have would catapult my personal destruction to higher levels. Yes, I would become powerless to stop until...hey, that's for another day.
Bottom line, my power and control was overtaken and relinquished by that first sip.
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