MN81713

Sent you a message, thanks!

MN81713

Yes, and he does not know....like I told the Dr's in the ER I had a seizure, but actually didn't this time, that was a couple weeks ago....I just needed the Dr excuse to be able to take my exam....I told my Dad and Mom the same lie and now they are worried about me for a lie....Stupid! I just called my boss back and told her I was at the hospital, they are running tests, but will be at work..... that's 10 hours from now, just going to slam the last of this dreadful bottle and go to sleep....If I buy another, I will just let it all go....I can't live like this!!!

SkyeSea

Try and get some sleep hun, you'll think a lot clearer when you wake up Your brains racing at the moment x

foolsgold66

My advice which I'll give for anyone but it is applicable most to you now. If you have a job with health insurance and addiction coverage and can't put together 7 days sober using all other resources available to you, get your rear over to human resources or the employer assistance program or whatever it is called where you work and then go to rehab. All the rest is just noise.

Freebird13

"If I buy another, I will just let it all go."

The first thing you need to do is QUIT BUYING ANOTHER BOTTLE! Don't even think about buying another bottle. You are just setting yourself up for failure over and over again.

MN81713

Job yes, Health Insurance...No, and no HR office (small hotel, I just do the night audit) but will pay if it comes to that point, Thanks for your response!!!!!!

MN81713

Didn't have to go to work tonight, my boss felt bad for me (great, more guilt or I am terminated) work 24 hours from now, just woke up, This is my day one and IF I DO DRINK AGAIN I AM GOING TO TAKE MYSELF TO REHAB (Yelling at me, none of you....) Hate this, feel like crap, look like it as well, just going to sleep some more and hopefully be ok 24 hours from now to go to work....Thanks again for all the feedback and PM's, nice to know that other "humans" can relate....

jaynie04

MN...coming clean about everything was the most liberating and empowering thing I ever did. Rehab was an extension of that.....it saturated me with tools for recovery. It is not a jail sentence, I will forever look back at those 30 days as some of the most precious in my life. I can't tell you how amazing my process group was (they break you into small groups of around 8 people). Someone is coming in and someone is leaving, it is an unbelievable experience. We climbed telephone poles in the desert in 110 degrees, worked with horses, talked (a lot), had talent (or lack thereof) shows...

We were from all over the place, all ages, all backgrounds. I have not gotten to the point of saying I am a grateful alcoholic, but I am very grateful that I was fortunate enough to have that experience. All the things I worried about ended up being the best parts of the whole deal. I laughed harder than I have ever laughed when I was drunk, and I remember it. I formed bonds that were amazing and am still in close touch with my group.

If you can do it, do it.

pinkdog

Hi MN, don't beat yourself up. It's hard when you realize alcohol is a problem. You won't always have the anxiety. Sobertime and learning relaxation techniques helped my anxiety so much. google urge surfing. it helps ride out the cravings and anxieties. It helped me so much. The key is to accept that you cannot drink. It's freeing. You can do this.

Louise82

Glad you've stopped, MN - or, rather, started your new life. Take all the help you can get to stay stopped - keep posting here, go to those AA meetings you were looking up, go to rehab (I don't know about over there but here you can go to rehab even if you've already stopped drinking) and/or use some other form of recovery support/method.