Help. I need support.
Help. I need support.
Hi. I am feeling so tempted to drink. We have family coming over tonight and that has traditionally been a beer fest. I am stressed out because I am responsible for getting everything ready and my kids are undoing everything:I clean up, they make a mess, etc. I have a very hard time asking my husband to change his plans, and that just makes me angry at him. Our guests are due in 2 hours and he is working out and plans to go running afterwards. He took a nap earlier this afternoon and was at work all morning.
I know that if I drink it would only harm me. I would be drinking at him,but he wouldn't care one bit because he drinks. I am just dying for that warmth in my shoulders.
Please, someone, talk me down!
I know that if I drink it would only harm me. I would be drinking at him,but he wouldn't care one bit because he drinks. I am just dying for that warmth in my shoulders.
Please, someone, talk me down!
Hey there GotGrace - I'm going to guess that you've got everything under control. Yeah, ok, the kids are undoing all the cleaning up but they are just kids after all. If kids aren't messy and untidy then they're not having fun, and who wants to remember their childhood as being all clean and tidy and stressful? Shrug your shoulders and get some warmth in that way.
Husbands who do as they please? Well, this might not suit everyone but when mine annoyed me that much I left him (I'm soooo much happier without him) so sometimes you just have to decide what you will let slide and what really bugs you.
Feel proud when the family arrives that YOU did everything. Don't drink, keep up your good work and if they don't appreciate it? Post here and we will help you appreciate your massive achievement. xx
Husbands who do as they please? Well, this might not suit everyone but when mine annoyed me that much I left him (I'm soooo much happier without him) so sometimes you just have to decide what you will let slide and what really bugs you.
Feel proud when the family arrives that YOU did everything. Don't drink, keep up your good work and if they don't appreciate it? Post here and we will help you appreciate your massive achievement. xx
Do not do it gotgrace.
Enoy the feeling of not doing it, being strong - notice the urges and let them be.
You will wake up fresh tomorrow, not with a hangover, not feeling disappointed.
You will be pleased with your self for not giving in.
Enoy the feeling of not doing it, being strong - notice the urges and let them be.
You will wake up fresh tomorrow, not with a hangover, not feeling disappointed.
You will be pleased with your self for not giving in.
It can be tough sometimes. You can do it.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 3
You control your own behavior. If you drink due to circumstances, then the circumstances are controling you. You have the ability not to drink, but far more importantly, you have the responsibility to take care of yourself. That includes addressing the issue of an unhelpful spouse, and the issue that you are not able to communicate your thoughts and feelings with your spouse. What you accept is what will continue. (spoken in Love).
Hey I had a really bad/strong urge to drink today while at a beach bar with my friends. I was there to play volleyball but of course we stopped there. However, I knew even one beer would be an epic failure that I would regret and it would ruin my whole day. And it wouldn't be just the one beer anyway; I assume you might be the same. If your whole family drinks, see if you can find just ONE person to resist with you; I had my boyfriend. Not being the only one not drinking helped A LOT. Took it from like a 9 to a 5. It's still hard, but it's doable. Good luck.
Thanks, all!
I told my husband how I was feeling and he stepped up. I have been checking in on your responses and they are so helpful and supportive. Just what I needed to hear, reminders of what I know but still need to learn!
This was the first time I had a really strong desire to drink in 35 days. I guess it's time to start building up that resistance muscle.
I am feeling much better now and am ready to enjoy the evening. And I am really looking forward to not being hungover tomorrow.
Thanks again, everyone. I am so thankful for this site and for each one of you!
I told my husband how I was feeling and he stepped up. I have been checking in on your responses and they are so helpful and supportive. Just what I needed to hear, reminders of what I know but still need to learn!
This was the first time I had a really strong desire to drink in 35 days. I guess it's time to start building up that resistance muscle.
I am feeling much better now and am ready to enjoy the evening. And I am really looking forward to not being hungover tomorrow.
Thanks again, everyone. I am so thankful for this site and for each one of you!
Congrats and hugs, GotGrace...be proud of yourself for being strong.
Maybe fix yourself a nice warm cup of Sleepytime Tea, or something similar, and get a nice relaxed feeling from the herbal tea instead of beer. That always helps me.
Maybe fix yourself a nice warm cup of Sleepytime Tea, or something similar, and get a nice relaxed feeling from the herbal tea instead of beer. That always helps me.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Nazareth, PA
Posts: 453
Hi Grace - Sorry I wasn't on earlier, and I'm SO glad to hear your husband stepped in to help you out and that you worked to stay away from that drink. As I read your post, I was thinking - drinking won't make your house cleaner, or your kids behave - it just lets you forget that the house is a mess and the kids are running wild. I have a lot of trouble letting go of my "perfect" idea of what the house should look like, how the food should be cooked/presented, when we have guests... we have small children, you know? We should expect that our friends and loved ones can forgive a messy house and wild kids at this stage in the game. But if you're anything like me, it's hard to do that...
No matter... I'm just really glad you didn't drink. I love the muscle building analogy - I use it all the time on myself.
No matter... I'm just really glad you didn't drink. I love the muscle building analogy - I use it all the time on myself.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Gulf Coast, Florida USA
Posts: 5,731
You just did the right thing Grace! You did exactly what you should have done. you came here first before you picked up. You proved that a drink can be put off with some help from SR. You are serious about your recovery.
That is awesome! U go!!
That is awesome! U go!!
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