First weekend and missing everything fun
 

First week sober and today has been the hardest. Gave up tickets to a big festival knowing I couldn't take the temptation. Now I'm sitting at home irritated and depressed knowing all of my friends are out watching football and enjoying their Saturday. Nothing I can do sober sounds fun. That sounds terrible to say but it's the truth. I felt optimistic about this journey until now. Now I don't see how it's going to be possible and am worried my new life will be so boring that I may not even want it.

You are very early in sobriety. Give yourself time to heal and relearn how to enjoy yourself sober. It will be worth it, I promise, but you've got to work for it. Good things won't just roll in the door, you have to go out and get them.:)


Give yourself time. Develop new hobbies. Take up exercise/working out. There are so many things to do and doing them sober is so much better. :)

Quitting something that has been a big - possibly central part of of your life isn't easy. A lot changes. It takes a bit of time to get used to it. You will find new and better ways to fill your time in due course.

Remember why you decided to quit. Play the tape to the end and think about what the end result of continuing on the course you decided so recently to do something about will mean to you. You have made a start. A little patience now will pay off big time.

Hi RLH
I think most of us can remember feeling exactly as you do.

It took a great adjustment for me to put my recovery first - but I knew it needed to be done. I'd tried the 'kinda sorta committment' many times - simply living my old drinking life but trying not to drink - I failed miserably every time.

Give yourself time - this is your first week. You will make changes in your life that better reflect sober you and you will develop 'sobriety muscles'...one day - not too far off - you'll find you can go anywhere and do anything because you've worked at it, you've changed a little and you know you want to be sober and prefer it that way.

I've never regretted getting sober - I'm sure you won't either.

Even when I felt it was unfair and stupid and I wanted to throw a toddler tantrum and run after my mates and just forget about recovery, I knew my addiction was driving that response...and I didn't want to be that guy anymore :)

Hang tough :)

D

It is an illusion. What you're really missing is getting drunk, saying or doing inappropriate things,sleeping badly, waking up feeling rough, sick, headachey, dry mouth,full of shame,regrets,anger,fear etc. Not much fun really

I know it is hard early on.I got sober 2 weeks before Chrsitmas so missed all the apparent fun at parties,Christmas day,boxing day,NYE,all the hols etc with everyone drinking and me sober. I didn't really enjoy them,thought it was boring BUT it was the first boxing day and NY day I'd woken up with peace of mind not worrying about what I'd said and done,no regrets and feeling well.I also learnt that it wasn't boredom I just had no idea how to enjoy myself sober. I've learnt how to and now enjoy things peacefully not high drama all the time. It does happen and it will happen to you too.

You're obviously committed to sobriety by avoiding trigger sitautions which is a brilliant start. be proud of yourself and know youwon't have a hangover tomorrow :)

Ask yourself why you decided to quit in the first place.

Remember feelings don't last forever so you feeling you are missing out will pass and much quicker than you realise.

I've found this forum so helpful. Read through it and there will be something that will remind you: "Ah yeah, that's why I chose to do something else right now." You'll feel better.

There are millions of people who enjoy every single aspect of their lives without alcohol or any other drug being involved. Once you can change your mindset you'll be free. xx

change is always hard.... recovery requires it. I use to wonder if id just be square old jutam lunchbox no fun no friends. when I laugh and feel happy now its authentic, not because im trashed. you have just been given the opportunity to do new stuff sober - embrace it.
ever wanted to sail? me neither but im sure you get what im saying. I meet people for coffee now not alcohol, and do way different stuff.....
get excited... your brain is just in a groove.... create a new one

you will have fun if you make it so! good luck

Like others here, I've been there. It sucks, plain and simple.

Think about your sobriety like that football game. There's no need to start throwing desperation passes and hail mary's right now - this is your first possession. Run some clock, establish the ground game, don't hang your head on 4th down.

Things will perk up, but these early days are very tough in their own way. Stay true to yourself right now and don't pick up a drink, and don't go out with your drinking friends. Tomorrow's Sunday, you can get through this and the sledding will get easier when the week arrives. Good luck.

Man I LOVE this football analogy. Going to use it myself during the hours that the urges must be surfed. Well put!

I haven't completely given up drinking, but I have cut back drastically and I stay away from the party scene. I have since become a yoga fanatic and I go to bed really early most nights. he he he There are pluses and minuses to this new lifestyle, if I am honest. Once, when dealing with a really difficult break-up of a relationship, I read that we tend to glamorize the relationship, only thinking of the good times and even exaggerating them. (almost like at a funeral when the deceased is turned into a saint) The article suggested that you really should focus on all of the crappy things, the reasons why the relationship fell apart. That really helped me. Maybe this relates to your relationship with alcohol?!?

Welcome to SR.

Who told you life was supposed to be fun? ;)

You'll just need to ride it out for a bit, Dee74 has already shared most of the same advice I would offer. In time, you may be able to do those things again **sober** even when others in the group drink.

This is so true. I found it was building a new life not trying to fix the old

Hi RLH. I remember feeling that way so many times. It always led me back to drinking. I just didn't wait long enough to feel better & more optimistic. The last time I quit I gave myself a chance to ride out the temptations & feeling sorry for myself. I know I'll never go back to that old, miserable life. The fun came with a huge price - and in the end there really wasn't any fun - just danger & uncertainty.

I hope you'll keep posting. It helps to share these thoughts and to know you're not alone.

How's it going on Sunday RLH? You know that at the event you referred to, there were undoubtedly dozens of recovered alcoholics enjoying the event without drinking. Everywhere you go in this world, you are around recovered alcoholics who can enjoy places, people and events without having to pick up.
You are in very early recovery and there are going to be tough moments like the one you had at the start of the weekend. But I can promise you it will change and improve.

Littlefish is right. My husband and I were out to eat last night in a bar/restaurant and I consciously looked around at the different tables to see what people were drinking. More tables were drinking tea/sodas, etc. than those drinking alcohol. When you are a drinker, you assume everyone and their grandmother is imbibing right along with you, but it just isn't true. I remember reading an alcoholic's memoir and she talks about being shocked that people could and often do leave half full glasses at the table. That was a A-Ha moment for me, too. The thought of leaving any alcohol in my glass, never occurred to me.

Double dragons you are so right.millions of people around the world do all the same things as drinkers do but just don't drink. In England binge drinking is so ingrained in our culture. On a recent foreign trip I was having lunch. Of course I had a bottle of wine . Other tables were mainly locals and very few drank alcohol. Most were on coffee , water, tea etc. we need to dismiss the correlation between drinking and having a good time out of our heads. The two do not need to go hand in hand!

Thank you all for the encouragement. I made it through the night and did wake this morning feeling somewhat proud of the small victory. I do think of all of the events and obstacles ahead and it still seems overwhelming, so I try to remind myself to just focus on today. I can already see positive changes as a result of a clear mind and, frankly, boredom. (i.e. i would have never chosen to go jogging when I could just have a drink instead)

It means a lot to know that total strangers all over the world have the same struggles and thought processes, and care enough to log on and offer encouragement. This is an amazing online community here and I appreciate the support.

1st post!
Welcome RLH.
Spend time reading these forums. The people here are Brilliant.
I read posts for 2 months before trying my first day without alcohol.
It just keeps getting better.
Events are WAY more fun with a clear mind and functioning senses.

Congratulations on starting day 2! :c011:
I'm day 6

RLH-

hi from a fellow Indy dweller. i always think it is helpful to connect with people who know where you are coming from, both figuratively and literally. sport culture is such a huge part of our city's identity that the various sporting events and seasons can be extra tempting. congrats on making it through this weekend! i started over again today and staying in for the colts game was my first small step :)