Eliasson

I'm about 3 and a half weeks sober and really missing the comfort and security I had in alcohol. I don't know how to live my life without my best friend and all of my old friends are falling away. Everything is changing in my life and it's very painful. How long til the benefits of sobriety start manifesting themselves?

Dee74

Hi again Eliasson

You've been around the block, so you know, deep down, there's no real comfort in alcohol - it's at best a temporary numbing that's never worth the other bad things it brings in its wake.

There's certainly no security - we're not in control - our addiction is. In active addiction, we're the puppet.

It's not your friend - it's like an abusive relationship if anything.

All these thoughts are your addiction, not you.

If you really believed any of this, I don't think you'd be here.

Do you have any support besides SR this time?

D

Tamerua

Start looking for other things to fill that void and try to remember why you are doing this. Changing everything was the key for me and it seems painful at first, but you realize later it is the best thing for you.

Mizzuno

There is a grieving process associated with not drinking. I wrote an 'Ode to Wine. I was really feeling it. If your friends are really your fiends, then they will be there for you and be your friends while you are making this change. As for alcohol being a friend? No, I think that alcohol is more of a crutch or a destructive liquid disguised in a pretty bottle. You are doing well. Keep on walking forward!

robgt350

yea so totally understand your post. i felt so comfortable drunk and it became my security blanket when i was alone. but it is an addiction and nothing else. so i am starting to feel much better about my self alone now, but i still have my moments from time to time. but i still do not drink. but i only been sober for 10 months now.

deeker

We drank for happiness and became unhappy.
We drank for joy and became miserable.
We drank for sociability and became argumentative.
We drank for sophistication and became obnoxious.
We drank for friendship and made enemies.
We drank for sleep and awakened without rest.
We drank medicinally and acquired health problems.
We drank for relaxation and got the shakes.
We drank for bravery and became afraid.
We drank for confidence and became doubtful.
We drank to make our conversation easier and we slurred our speech.
We drank to feel heavenly and ended up feeling like hell.
We drank to forget and were forever haunted.
We drank for freedom and became slaves.
We drank to erase problems and saw them multiply.
We drank to cope with life and invited death.

LuLu13

Do you feel better physically? Are you doing anything to fill your time? Walks? Puzzles? Reading? Video games? Do you have a way to meet and make some new sober friends? I have seen so many positive changes in 60 something days. I look so much better, I feel so much better, my relationships are better, I lost 26 pounds, my blood pressure is well within normal ranges. You have to go after some of it but it is so worth it.

Threshold

Eliasson! (((hugs))) always good to see you and good to hear you are sober.

ACT10Npack

Do you miss alcohol the way it makes you feel good or the way you feel nothing?

SkyeSea

The word 'security' sprang out of your post for me. I never felt secure when drinking, as I'd always be worrying about who I'd end up phoning/texting/emailing.. or what cringeworthy rubbish I'd post on fb etc.
I would leave notes for myself 'do NOT post on fb', but of course, I would just HAVE to tell the world about that one great idea/ brainwave I'd had,etc etc, which would over-rule the note.

Just woken up here, so apologies if I'm not making sense.

MN81713

Love this!!! Every line is true!!!

Plenny

I miss it sometimes too. But there's a new voice in my head that responds to feelings of genuine happiness that have been welling up (not over the top happy or anything, more like satisfaction or self pride) when I accomplish something. "I couldn't have done that if I had been drinking just now/last night." I still have the av but this new voice makes it worth ignoring the other

least

With more sober time you won't miss it at all. The rewards of sobriety are waiting for you but you'll have to go get them, they don't just show up at your door. Do something special for yourself. And stay sober.

cheebiechi

I think you started feeling the benefits of sobriety 3 weeks and a half ago when you chose to go at life sober. Keep it up!!! Check out the PROMISES if you like....its a reading I reflect on when I am struggling..

sugarbear1

Hugs and love sent your way, Eliasson!

Eliasson

Thank you all! I woke up feeling good because I managed to stay sober last night! Largely because I kept checking back here and was carried through the night by your support and words of encouragement. This place never ceases to amaze me. Thank you for being louder than that annoying addictive voice of mine. I have struggled with this for so long and really want to make it this time.

Toomutch

Eliasson, I'm sure waking up without a hangover, regretting last night is an amazing feeling. It's awesome that you kept checking in and not caving in to the bottle.

happyhour

hi eliasson, what's painful?

Mentium

Eliasson, Stopping drinking is, I have only recently come to realise, just the beginning of what being really sober means. It is a message I have not wanted to listen to for literally decades and it it why, I am beginning to realise, I never made sobriety stick.

Many of us drink to mask the sorts of problems that create anxiety, depression and denial. Alcohol does a really good job for us for quite a while I would say, though eventually of course it ends up making those problems worse. That seems to me very often when a crisis in our drinking happens.

When we quit we have the double whammy of withdrawal and quitting using alcohol and then addressing the underlying issues. That is what, at heart the Steps are about I am slowly beginning to see.

I don't know your background or the issues that may have made drinking so attractive - perhaps there aren't any ion your case, but it may be that it won't be until you start to engage with those issues that you will be happy in your abstinence.

I can#'t really talk from a position of authority as this is only dawning on me now after many (many!) years of struggling.

83mama0f2

Starting to have feelings of missing it too, and its hard for me because my consumption hadn't really gotten debilitating yet. And I wanted to quit before it did. I have this voice telling me I can hanlde it because its really not that bad. I don't want it to get that bad though!!! Gotta keep checking in here. 2 weeks today