Lyricchi

I am back again. Why am I doing this to myself? Since relapsing almost a year ago after two and a half years sober, it has been a revolving door for me. I get to meetings, enjoy them, leave, the good feeling subsides, I want to drink, and either give in immediately or white knuckle it until giving in. I want to be sober, I swear.. I used to enjoy life sober! Why is it so much harder?
I know I need to talk to somebody. I've taken numbers but don't call. I don't know what to say usually, I always feel like wasting people's time.. Any tips on approaching people top get help? I know it's keeping me sick.. I want to be well.

keithj

Ever consider finding someone who has recovered as the result of a spiritual awakening from taking the Steps as outlined in the BB help show you how to do that?

ScottFromWI

Call the numbers. See your doctor. The only person's time you are wasting by not taking action is your own.

If you had a treatable medical condition such as High Blood Pressure or Diabetes, would you also ignore it and not see a doctor?

The bottom line is it takes full admission that you are an alcoholic and the humility to seek help if you want to be truly sober.

Lyricchi

Well, yes. But I don't know what to do after meeting a woman and getting her number. I mean, I don't know what to say to begin a relationship. There are very few women that go to the 12-step program I go to in my small town and I think I have every one of their numbers. I know many struggle with picking up the phone and that I'm not unique... And I'm not trying to be daft here but.. What do I say? What does someone who isn't used to talking about their feelings say? How do you start? Just say I need help? It's like once I'm with another human I minimize my problems and feelings in my mind and berate myself and am not forthcoming. And I have all the clarity in the world about it right here and now, when I'm alone and miserable.. But tonight after a meeting, I won't think like this.. Do you (anyone) know what I mean?

AugustWest11

I whole heartly agree w/ Scott. For me personally, I think walking into the hospital last week is what helped me "turn the corner" I feel like a weight has been lifted. Not to mention I have been "forced" to take things more seriously.

Lyricchi

You're right, Scott, thanks.

ScottFromWI

Yep, that's all you have to say - seriously. The conversation will take it's own course. The sole reason you have those numbers is to call for help when you need it.

Calnius

Hey! I have problems getting my words out sometimes too, because I don't want to say the wrong thing or I just get confused and don't know what to say.

This might sound weird, but it helps me in a few situations. Try jotting down the key points of what you want to say in the conversation before the conversation happens, spend a few minutes reading over it, making sure that's what you want to say, and see if any new ideas pop into your head.

It works for me fairly well, It might work for you, worth a try!

Also, just my two cents, but it seems that you relapse after you stop attending meetings right? maybe it would benefit if you kept going to them, at least sporadically after you get sober again? Just brainstorming.

You can do this man!

keithj

Thanks for hanging in there, Lyricchi. It's going to be different for everyone, based on personality and social skills, but I can tell you what I did. I called up a guy in the program that I didn't like very much and said I need help. Picking the right person was key. There were only a few people around me at the time that had a clear message of recovering through the 12 Steps, instead of some trite, feel good slogans. It's even tougher to find a woman solidly versed in the BB, but they're out there. You just have to look for them. This guy wasn't my friend, didn't want to hear about my feelings, and didn't care much about my opinions on the Steps. What he had was a bunch of experience and a thorough working knowledge of how to lead another hopeless through those Steps. Find that comparable woman out there and ask her for help.

Lyricchi

Thanks, all. Thanks, Keith, you know I never heard it explained that way - thank you! Maybe I'm looking for the wrong thing here, too focused on what I want in a personality and not what I want in recovery.

least

I'm glad you're back trying again.

Hevyn

Good for you Lyricchi - you haven't given up on wanting a better life. I'm glad you wanted to talk it over - that's what I love about SR - we can be honest here and share what works.

JaylaaKent

I know it's hard to call - but the way AA works is people are not going to "chase" you down and call after you to be sober. It's like if a person needs dialysis. They have to call the facility to make the appointment, show up for their treatment, take their medication. Treating alcoholism (or any addiction) is no different. Once you get over the fact that alcoholism is not a moral flaw or lack of self control, but a physical (mental and emotional) condition, the more likely you will be to try and work on recovery. View recovery as dialysis or chemotherapy treatment; because without you might die or at least lose out on a large part of your life - and live your life very poorly/sickly until you die or finally get sober. If you call them - AA people know what to say and do to help you. But YOU HAVE TO CALL! Hang in there we are here to support you.