Clemence

I've done 12 days so far but have been careful to avoid being in a position of great temptation wherever possible. This weekend will be the opposite.

I am going to Devon for the weekend with 10 friends. We are a bookclub but really it's much more about drinking wine and laughing than the book we read and supposedly discuss. We are all wine drinkers and of course I'm up there as the one everyone can rely on to be the biggest party animal.

I've told the 2 that I am closest to and they are supportive. I've just had a horrible cold and now my sinuses ache so I will use that as my excuse to not drink to the others. But it's going to be sooooooo tempting 'as a one off' (yeah right!) to join in.

I expect the advice would be not to go but it's an annual trip and I'm working every other weekend til Christmas so I can't bear to miss it, and if I can do it without a drink it will be an amazing milestone.

Don't know if there will be internet, if there is I'll be here where I feel safe.

Wish me luck.................

Toffee1

Clemenceau I am in same boat as you this is my day 15. Last weekend went out with a group of drinkers . Was so worried and anxious beforehand about how I could explain my non drinking. In the end I just said I hadn't been feeling too good recently due to too many hangovers and that I needed a night off the beer. I think this gave them the impression I was still one of them still in the game but just off it for one night. And guess what no one made anything out of it and it was not mentioned again the entire evening.my point is that sometimes we think it will make other people happy if we all drink , that it will make the night a special one. Reality is other people generally couldn't care less if I drink or not they really don't care. It is just in my mind that they do. Don't use other peoples expectations of who you are as a reason to drink. If you do drink it will be down to you and no one else! Don't make a big thing out of not drinking and no one else will. Final point of my sermon is this . DO YOU WANT to go back to day 1. I know I don't and hope I never have to. Hope this helps best of luck.

mecanix

Hey clemence ,
nice to see you here for this weekend

Be careful , if they all start and it's too much you can blame the sinus/nose and go to bed early/ swiftly and get stuck into reading a good book .. you can always check for internet connection on the places website , most hotels these days need it for coperate clients , even up on the moor .

Next time round you will be more firm in your sobriety and better able to deal with the drinking , at 2 years i can ... at 12 days be careful of that AV trying to make you think , you'll never be able to enjoy yourself or somesuch nonscence ...

You can and will be sober if you want it , be careful with it though .

Next year when you have a year you will be the most engaging, interesting and witty person there for not drinking ( or thats how i've found it ) .

Bestwishes, m

Oldselfagain

Clemenceau Toffee is bang on the money here. No one will care that you don't drink. I've been in this situation a few times and if you say you're not drinking the group will just carry on and drink without you. Don't use other people as an excuse to drink. It's all about YOU now. Be strong.

Mentium

Your call of course, but if I was in your shoes I would bail.

Clemence

Thanks Toffee, Mecanix and Oldself. I know you're right and I have written down lots of useful quotes etc to remember and fire at the wicked AV when it inevitably starts trying to seduce me. I will certainly be lurking here if I can

Clemence

To be honest Mentium I think I might have to console myself with wine if I bailed. Life is tricky at home at the moment and I have been looking forward to this trip forever

hayley86

Hi Clemence, If you really want to go and cant get out of it i would have a plan in place for if you feel tempted. If it is getting too overwhelming you have a good reason to get out of the way with still feeling unwell. I would say to keep in mind how much work you have put into your recovery over the last 12 days and how horrible it would be to drink again. Its definitely not worth it. You have the choice not to drink. You can get through this weekend and feel empowered. Stay strong.

lorelei

Clemence & Toffee,

Make the choice before you go, firmly, that you will not drink, you do not want to go back to day one and through all this, protect your sobriety, by whatever means needed....by not going, or by taking a stash or AF drinks whatever works for you, but decide then stick to it xx

ReadyAtLast

Do you genuinely believe you can be around everyone drinking wine and not drink? Will you be happy being around others drinking whilst you are sober? It would have been toodifficult for me at 2 weeks. even at 6 weeks I gave in and drank when in company. For me, I wouldn't go as would not want to be around drinkers so early on.If you are adamant you're going please be carefuland have an escape route

dcd

Be careful and as mentioned make a decision to not drink before you go. I find that my addiction likes to take those options to make an excuse for me to fail. A reason why I just had to drink. I stay away for now, but I just read in the big book we will have to be in those positions sometimes and should not avoid them. What I didn't was when we were safe. I guess that is up to us all individually. Good luck to you and just work hard on what you want out of that trip.

Mentium

Personally I am beginning to realise the only way I will manage to quit drinking long term is if I make it the highest priority in all my decisions - at least for now. Maybe a year or two down the line things will be different. Given that I would not take the risks - but maybe you are stronger than me in that respect. Good luck and have fun in any case Clemence.

wakko

I could not be around alcohol for the first year and a half. I have stayed sober because I refuse to put anything in front of my sobriety. I would ask myself if I am planning my own relapse.

ReadyAtLast

[QUOTE] Please re-read what you've written. It seems it's just a drinking weekend? Why would you want to go on a drinking weekend so early in sobriety,if at all?for me,getting sober has meant changing my habits and a new lifestyle. Drinking friends plus drinking environment = drinking

doggonecarl

Twelve days sober and you feel the need to test yourself? You are going to do what you are going to do, based on your priorities.

After years of failing to quit doing it "my way" I joined this site and decided to do what those with years of sobriety suggested. They said I had to change: the things I did, the places I went to, my thinking.

Changing where I went and what I did seemed easy to implement. If being around alcohol was going to test my sobriety, I wasn't going to be around it. Worked for me.

Find out what works for you...or what doesn't.

Be safe.

joygirl

Hey Clemence!
You know, I would ask one or both of the friends who know your situation if they would abstain with you. You could use a non drinking buddy. And then, the two or three of you can sit back and laugh and grimace as the others get sloshed and do all kinds of what-not that they will regret in the morning. Just a thought.

tangningsheng

You have chosen to not drink so If you are willing to not drink then have a blast and NOT drink. For me this site has been so uplifting hope you have internet and check how it is going, I have made the choice as you have to give up the drunk lifestyle, so just have fun without the drink. If these are your friends they understand and think you are a blast regardless of the drink you choose. Bring water not wine and have fun

Mizzuno

When I think about going to a book club/party for the weekend with a sinus cold, I can only think about how miserable I would be. Your health is not up to par right now. I know that you dont want encouragement to "not" go, but being sick is no small matter. On top of that, you are 12 days sans alcohol. I would take a rain check. There will be another book club party. What if you end up more sick due to not taking care of yourself in the proper way?
(You stated that your sinuses ache. Are you on the brink of infection?)

john44

Ask yourself if what you are really looking for is an excuse to drink. Sure, you say you don't want to, that you've been looking forward to this trip for a long time but what does it involve? Drinking with drinking friends. How do you think you are going to be able to be around that without either feeling miserable or just drinking yourself. Be honest with yourself.

EndGameNYC

Yeah, these "do or die" events seem to be piling up here. I don't feel as though anything I say will make a difference, what with so many people regretting they ever went in the first place.