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phoenix299 09-26-2013 11:07 AM

Seeing things in a different light
When I decided to quit drinking, I did so for a number of reasons and now that I am over two months sober, I'm starting to see that the reasons I decided to stop were just masking for the underlying reasons and it's a bit overwhelming to say the least. I've always looked back on these things and was void of all feeling (or at least thought I was) but now.. I'm seeing things in a different light and am not sure how to address these thoughts / feelings. I'm happy that I'm not being drawn to drink but am not sure how to address these new feelings / views.

silentrun 09-26-2013 11:16 AM

Congratulations on your 2 months. I think that is good normal. It happens to me and since I can't stop thinking about whatever it is I let it settle in. I wouldn't try to force anything just let it work it's way out.

ScottFromWI 09-26-2013 11:17 AM

Drinking certainly clouds our vision. For me the trick was identifying those issues I was hiding from and then finding help for them. I had some physical health issues that needed addressing, so I saw a doctor for them. Some people neglect their mental health and need to see a counselor to help with that too.

The key for is taking the initiative to find the right resources and atcuallly facing the issues, rather than ignoring them, which was what I tried to do when I was drinking.

doggonecarl 09-26-2013 11:19 AM

Originally Posted by phoenix299 (Post 4203566)
I'm happy that I'm not being drawn to drink but am not sure how to address these new feelings / views.

Just have faith that the sober you will be able to deal with them. It will be a little awkward at first, at time painful, depending on what you are dealing with.

I struggled too, at the beginning. But I was convinced that drinking wouldn't resolve it, and held on to the belief that my recovery would give me the tools to handle the newness of sobriety.

And it did.

phoenix299 09-26-2013 11:23 AM

Thanks everyone! It feels so great to actually start opening up about this stuff. My issues stem from some things that happened to and around me as a child (probably the same as 99.9999999% of the people on here). Do I simply tell myself that it is all in the past and move on or do I try and understand the impact these things had on me as a person and go from there to try and heal.

FourSeasons 09-26-2013 11:24 AM

Hi Phoenix - Ditto for me... My underlying issues are anger and resentment. I am now, for the first time, stewing in my on juices while sober. I am still angry and resentful, but the good news is that I am not drunk and angry and resentful. Baby steps if you will...

mecanix 09-26-2013 11:25 AM

Hey phoenix ,
most healthy people i know who have underlying issues, research and get help with them , either through self help or help via a third party such as a therapist or even group support / therapy .

I think it's quite normal for us to become aware of larger themes and issues going on in our lives once we stop running from anything uncomfortable by drink/drug abuse .

Nothing has to be solved in a new york minute but i think it's healthy to come to a point of acceptance where we can live in relative freedom from such things .

Bestwishes, m

longbeachone 09-26-2013 11:33 AM

Just keep your eyes on the prize for now. Give yourself the permission to play the Scarlett O'Hara role..."I'll think about that tomorrow". Difficult issues from the past will still be there for you to address and deal with in six months or more, when you've got more sober time under your belt, and more clarity to deal with these things. Whether you use AA or not, they have some great sayings, one of which is "First Things First". First secure your sobriety! The rest will be waiting for you...or not! Sometimes after the lights are turned on the things we see as the monsters in the closet are just a pile of clothes after all.

lorelei 09-26-2013 11:35 AM

hey phoenix,

well done on those 62 days wow!!!!

I suppose now is the time we start to *feel * and *heal* maybe you could talk to someone you trust, the past has gone, but it still leaves its scars & marks, they do need looking at, sometimes talking about, and then most of the time leaving where they are, you've achieved something really good in your life, your sobriety. Be proud of yourself, I would be x

soberhawk 09-26-2013 12:37 PM

I would not force such things, but if these feelings are forcing themselves on you – I would consider to get help to “straighten” that out.

I think many are lead to alcoholism or other addictions because something is hurting, it just not a solution it makes things worse. It is an important step to realize that.

Dee74 09-26-2013 02:33 PM

Hi Phoenix

I had stuff like that come up for me too - a little counselling really helped me.
Could that be an option for you, perhaps?


wakko 09-26-2013 04:21 PM

Like you I found alcoholism was a symptom of other problems. I found professional help and AA to be critical in my recovery

Anna 09-26-2013 04:36 PM

I was surprised to find the number of layers I had to work through when I stopped drinking. And, it's an ongoing process.

I'm going to PM you a link about Inner Child Healing which helped me to deal with my demons.

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