Going back to work..scared
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Central California
Posts: 83
Going back to work..scared
I took a month off work under FMLA (for those out of US, you are allowed a leave for medical, etc w/o losing job) because the stress exacerbated by my drink FOR sure and my job performance was pretty much sub standard and knew management was on to me whether an upcoming probation or final warning, whatever something was coming.
So, i called my manager he next morning and told him i need to take some time off too deal with some issues and he seemed to understand and noticed some deficiencies, I blamed I had some personal issues to tend to and he understood. My issue is ALCOHOL. Can't be too productive hungover 3 days of the week and remaining 2 in mental fog....and then there is the weekend binge! Brain=fried.
I intended to go to rehab in my 30 day leave. It was an outpatient (drank at night) job. I quit going after 2 weeks.
The remaining time I went home, alone now that I lost my marriage, and became just lonely and miserable. Life at cross roads feeling. Depressing. I drank more than ever too! I simply existed, not lived.
Being home alone was the WORST for me.
Today I go to the doc to get my work return slip. I will take it in with me Monday. I am scarred to go back to work, what to say to co-workers, the overwhelming awkwardness, etc. Will management have found something to fire me on while i was away and hand "me" walking papers? Part of me feels like looking for a new job so I don't have to face this, but of course I cant go simply "start-over" being drunk minded still.....dumb. I need too face my actions. This is what alcohol did to me and if i continue, it will only get worse. That at least i am learning.
I have been sober for a little while. But i still think like an addict. I need some confidence my life, whatever happens, so long as I am sober I will be OK.....and that is what i need to understand that! I need a montra of "I can handle anything life throws my way, stress, depression, losses, etc so long i am sober. There must be more "wins" in a sober ones life...must be.... Thanks for reading and caring.
So, i called my manager he next morning and told him i need to take some time off too deal with some issues and he seemed to understand and noticed some deficiencies, I blamed I had some personal issues to tend to and he understood. My issue is ALCOHOL. Can't be too productive hungover 3 days of the week and remaining 2 in mental fog....and then there is the weekend binge! Brain=fried.
I intended to go to rehab in my 30 day leave. It was an outpatient (drank at night) job. I quit going after 2 weeks.
The remaining time I went home, alone now that I lost my marriage, and became just lonely and miserable. Life at cross roads feeling. Depressing. I drank more than ever too! I simply existed, not lived.
Being home alone was the WORST for me.
Today I go to the doc to get my work return slip. I will take it in with me Monday. I am scarred to go back to work, what to say to co-workers, the overwhelming awkwardness, etc. Will management have found something to fire me on while i was away and hand "me" walking papers? Part of me feels like looking for a new job so I don't have to face this, but of course I cant go simply "start-over" being drunk minded still.....dumb. I need too face my actions. This is what alcohol did to me and if i continue, it will only get worse. That at least i am learning.
I have been sober for a little while. But i still think like an addict. I need some confidence my life, whatever happens, so long as I am sober I will be OK.....and that is what i need to understand that! I need a montra of "I can handle anything life throws my way, stress, depression, losses, etc so long i am sober. There must be more "wins" in a sober ones life...must be.... Thanks for reading and caring.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Unless you signed some kind of consent form when you took the job, your medical records are private and your employer would need a court order to see them.
Regarding what to say, don't say anything about your leave if you don't want to - it's private for a reason. If someone asks just say you had a health issue or a family issue be done with it.
Mainly though, know that you are doing great by staying sober for a while and embrace the challenge of going back to work. Even if you are seeking a different job (which would be perfectly fine ) you still want to to a good job there.
Best of luck, and be strong- you can do this!
Regarding what to say, don't say anything about your leave if you don't want to - it's private for a reason. If someone asks just say you had a health issue or a family issue be done with it.
Mainly though, know that you are doing great by staying sober for a while and embrace the challenge of going back to work. Even if you are seeking a different job (which would be perfectly fine ) you still want to to a good job there.
Best of luck, and be strong- you can do this!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
Not an easy task. I too have work related anxiety and stress that has to do with the poison. In the end it's just a job, though it's hard to see the forest for the trees.
On the other hand facing our mistakes and the tasks that we have in front of us can only make us stronger, more confident, more sure. Running and hiding at the bottom of bottles only makes every other aspect of life so hard.
I wish you the best. Stay strong and just deal with the task at hand.
On the other hand facing our mistakes and the tasks that we have in front of us can only make us stronger, more confident, more sure. Running and hiding at the bottom of bottles only makes every other aspect of life so hard.
I wish you the best. Stay strong and just deal with the task at hand.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Calif
Posts: 757
hay there
well as i have taken FLMA also, and i can tell you they cannot find out why or for what reason you went out for unless you tell them. it is called HEPA law. i would say i has a condition i had to attend to for a while. but they cannot punish you for that.
oh so you did not get a grasp on your drinking while you were out. trust me you are not alone. i did that many times, but i got a handle on it now, well for 10 months now.
i had to come here, i give this place alot of credit for sobriety. i come here several times a day to read, post, and chat. and it really helped me.
but accept the fat that people at work might talk about you, that is typical office politics.
well as i have taken FLMA also, and i can tell you they cannot find out why or for what reason you went out for unless you tell them. it is called HEPA law. i would say i has a condition i had to attend to for a while. but they cannot punish you for that.
oh so you did not get a grasp on your drinking while you were out. trust me you are not alone. i did that many times, but i got a handle on it now, well for 10 months now.
i had to come here, i give this place alot of credit for sobriety. i come here several times a day to read, post, and chat. and it really helped me.
but accept the fat that people at work might talk about you, that is typical office politics.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
Wishing you the best for your return to work- try to stay calm and not 'future trip' with a load of what ifs... 
I think you're doing great - sometimes we're right where we need to be...don't rush it
D
I think you're doing great - sometimes we're right where we need to be...don't rush it
D
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,497
I hope things go well for you back at work. I agree that you should say as little as possible about why you were away.
Have faith that you can go back to work and continue to recover.
Have faith that you can go back to work and continue to recover.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,560
Good advice here Ryan. I hope it turns out to be much easier than you're expecting. Proud of you for getting through this difficult time. Things will continue to get better & easier.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Probably my living room. Maybe my bedroom if I'm feeling lazy
Posts: 1,085
I was so scared to go back to work. I was away for 6 weeks. My who practice group knew I almost died in the hospital (just not from alcohol).
But no one asked any questions besides, how are you feeling?
People were generally concerned. There was no gossip, at least that I was aware of.
And having something to do, a purpose, really made the days go by faster instead of sitting around in my own head.
For me, boredom and isolation breed the need for inebriation.
But no one asked any questions besides, how are you feeling?
People were generally concerned. There was no gossip, at least that I was aware of.
And having something to do, a purpose, really made the days go by faster instead of sitting around in my own head.
For me, boredom and isolation breed the need for inebriation.
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